Childminder hit my child

krazykidskate

She goes out shopping whilst being paid to mind your child and loses him - this would concern me even more than the smacking. TBH I can't tell if your thread is a wind up, you have your concerns so just act upon your instinct do you really need to ask?:rolleyes:

li'l_p

To the OP: I assume you have some sort of written policies/contract in place? If so, surely these cover what is acceptable and not when it comes to behaviour and discipline?

I would suggest a disciplinary meeting and discussing the above policies (if in place). After all, this is how most employers deal with breaches in work policy and potentially warnings are issued, etc, etc.

However, as you state that your little boy has previously expressed that he has been hit before - so I feel this has probably gone beyond that and as it has not been dealt with properly from the times before, you can hardly start calling disciplinary meetings now if you have never addressed issues in a formal capacity before now.

I personally would not want my child to go back into the care of this person, but I also would have called a meeting with the childminder after the first time he had mentioned being smacked, to discuss with the childminder what her take on this was - and perhaps issued a warning at this stage and reiterated the policy as to acceptable discipline, and not just dismissed it on the basis that "kids can make things up" - kids are far more attuned to things than adults give them credit for.

If you really have doubts then perhaps it is time for a new childminder, however I think you need to get some policies drawn up (http://www.ncma.org.uk/mainwebsite/contentpage9df2c089.aspx?map=bf53ab032a096511043d01e36dbcd9ae), have all parties sign them and at least you all know where you stand.

Violetta_2

I'm also concerned that a child was missing for what sounds like at least 20 minutes (could well be longer) and the parents weren't alerted. If my dd went missing from nursery whilst out on a trip I would expect to be contacted, ok it would terrify me but the thought that she could be missing & me not know horrifies me.
As an aside we live in a very busy town centre area, lots of people lots of cars, we tried reins on her she parked her bum on the pavement & refused to budge, so we got 1 of those wee rucksacks with a strap (yes it's like a lead), I don't care if people think it looks bad or that at 3 she should obey me , I know where she is. I would recommend these to anyone with a toddler/trainee free spirit.

Bitsy_Beans

consultant31 wrote: »

The posters who suggest that she be reported to Ofsted are going too far until you've got to the bottom of why the CM had taken the child out shopping in the first place, how she had managed to lose him and ultimately why she felt the need to smack him.

I'm not one of the 'no smacking brigade'. My children got a (very rare) smack when all else failed - they are all happy, healthy, normal people, despite having their bum smacked occasionally.

I am not anti-smacking brigade either but Ofsted has strict guidelines on behaviour and smacking is in breach of these rules. I don't think that's being over the top. As a CM it's more than my job is worth to smack a minded child.
If she smacked him clearly in anger due to him causing her stress who's to say she won't lose control and smack in under other circumstances. Sorry I might smack my own children but in my written policies it states corporal punishment is forbidden. If she has anything similar she's breaching her own policies.

foreign_correspondent

li'l_p wrote: »

To the OP: I assume you have some sort of written policies/contract in place? If so, surely these cover what is acceptable and not when it comes to behaviour and discipline?

I would suggest a disciplinary meeting and discussing the above policies (if in place). After all, this is how most employers deal with breaches in work policy and potentially warnings are issued, etc, etc.

However, as you state that your little boy has previously expressed that he has been hit before - so I feel this has probably gone beyond that and as it has not been dealt with properly from the times before, you can hardly start calling disciplinary meetings now if you have never addressed issues in a formal capacity before now.

I personally would not want my child to go back into the care of this person, but I also would have called a meeting with the childminder after the first time he had mentioned being smacked, to discuss with the childminder what her take on this was - and perhaps issued a warning at this stage and reiterated the policy as to acceptable discipline, and not just dismissed it on the basis that "kids can make things up" - kids are far more attuned to things than adults give them credit for.

If you really have doubts then perhaps it is time for a new childminder, however I think you need to get some policies drawn up (http://www.ncma.org.uk/mainwebsite/contentpage9df2c089.aspx?map=bf53ab032a096511043d01e36dbcd9ae), have all parties sign them and at least you all know where you stand.

there is no need to draw of policies, OFSTED good practice policies are already in place, and by smacking him she has broken the law, which specificly states that it is illegal for a childminder to hit a child in their care - she will be well aware of this, and she has omitted to tell the childs mother until the chld spilled the beans - this must be dealt with properly for the sake of all the kids she looks after, and any she may look after in the future.

Geenie

krazykidskate wrote: »

She goes out shopping whilst being paid to mind your child and loses him - this would concern me even more than the smacking. :rolleyes:

This has been my thought from reading the thread. Firstly I would have thought shopping in M&S should be in her own time, not when being paid to child mind! And secondly, if the child had a history of running off, why didn't she have a wrist strap on him in a busy shop?! She was obviously paying more attention to the rails and not her charge, which doesn't strike me as doing a great job. He could have run out of the shop, down the road and to goodness knows where!

DianneB

krazykidskate wrote: »

She goes out shopping whilst being paid to mind your child and loses him - this would concern me even more than the smacking. TBH I can't tell if your thread is a wind up, you have your concerns so just act upon your instinct do you really need to ask?:rolleyes:

I totally agree with this!! get yourself a new childminder NOW!

mummy_Jay

Firstly it needs pointing out this is not a question of is smacking right or wrong. A childminder is not allowed to smack a child in there care by law, the questions stops there.

Your CM has shown that she does not watch over your child properly. I believe there was comment to him normally hiding during shopping trips (which makes me suspect she doesn't normally take care to control him and lets him get away with this behavour normally). He is only 3, she should know where he is, and in such a busy place as M&S be holding his hand. This would be my first point of concern, that she was not looking after him as paid to do. Yes children do wonder off but the comment on him normally hiding under clothes rails makes me think, it is a regular occurance, which is worrying.

Second point is she smacked him, something no childminder is allowed to do. Why is irelivant, she is in a position of trust and she broke it, completely. this is totally not acceptable, and as you now believe this may have happened before even worse.

My reaction would have been to talk to her (as you did) but when she openly admitted to smacking him, I would have written a formal complaint to her. I also would have been in contact with OFSTED to discuss the complaint (as she should tell them when they do their reports but I would want to be sure they are aware of it).

On the previous occasions your DS complained of her smacking him, did he show signs of fear of her, i.e. calling her a naughty girl etc?

Your child is now showing signs of distress and going to this ladies house, I think you do need to look at changing CM. Distress in a child so young can have physical menifistations - bed wetting, behaviour and demeanor. You are the only one that really knows your child, if he's distressed, you need to get him some where he's happier before you get the physical effects.

Another reason I would have to change CM is after such an incident I would loose faith in the CM. You have to be able to trust your CM and know your childs safe. If your scared or worried about your child it will effect you and your child, in a negative way.

I know the easy answer is just to swap CM but do please put the complaint in too.

Reggie_Rebel

There's a lot of assumptions that the Child minder is a registered Child minder.

As the child has been with the Child minder since the age of four months, is collected by Grandparents and the Parent has seemingly no idea how their child behaves while out shopping it's perhaps not an assumption that should be made.

Registered or not smacking the child unless it's an agreed course of action is not acceptable

consultant31

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

So, someone who is employed in a position of trust (looking after a small child, one of the most vulnerable members of society), and breaks not only good practice guidelines (which would be worrying enough) but by her own admission, actually breaks the law - and you think she should be left to get on with it - I think she needs scrutinising by the professional body that regulates her field of work, as this affects not only the OP's child but any others that she now looks after, or may look after in the future.

No, I don't think she should be 'left to get on with it', but before reporting her to Ofsted, I would want to be absolutely sure where I stood.

At the end of the day, OP herself said that the child has adored the CM for the last 3 years, except for this ONE occasion when she had smacked his bottom (wrongly it's true).

Taking the child away would suffice to show your displeasure, along with a chat to other parents of children minded along with this child so that they could be aware of the circumstances.

My personal opinion - and I know I'll get shot down in flames - if you want children, you should bring them up yourself. I had 3 and had £50 a week to feed the 5 of us and pay the bills (gas, electric and phone). It was a long time ago but we were very short of cash the whole time they were growing up. I got a part-time job when my youngest was 4 and starting school and I was always there for them when they came home.

Whatever happens in life, my children are the most important part of it for me and my husband. Money takes a back seat. If I couldn't afford to buy something, we did without (and still do though we're much better off now).

I know people are all different and there will be posters who lambast me for old-fashioned views. I'm not trying to force my opinions onto anybody, but that's the way I feel. In my case, any discipline my children received was from me and therefore was consistent and minimal.

I don't intend to offend any working Mums. I just think children should top the list of priorities. After all, it's only a very few years until they start school and then you're much more free to earn a living.