Childminder hit my child

sexandthecity

I dont think there is anything wrong with taking a child shopping as long as they are properly cared for and watched. Only this afternoon I took my 2 (almost 3 yr old daughter into the city centre) minus her pram, nightmare, she too ran off and I had to chase her round a store but thats life, I am a mum and thats what I had to do, if I was childminding someone elses child I would have to do that too. I never took my eyes off her for a second unless she was in my arms already (then I could look in peace for a minute)

I have smacked my own children very rarely but the threat of a smack is usually more effective in my experience. If I my stomach had dropped through the floor and my little one had disappeared my first reaction wouldnt be to smack her I would be enormously overwhelmed and relieved that she was ok (James Bulger ???)

As for the childminder smacking, there is never a time when it is ok for a paid professional to smack a child under any circumstances whatsoever

foreign_correspondent

sexandthecity wrote: »

I dont think there is anything wrong with taking a child shopping as long as they are properly cared for and watched. Only this afternoon I took my 2 (almost 3 yr old daughter into the city centre) minus her pram, nightmare, she too ran off and I had to chase her round a store but thats life, I am a mum and thats what I had to do, if I was childminding someone elses child I would have to do that too.

....and if you were working in an office would you think it was ok to go for a wander round M&S in paid time??

She is being paid to do a skilled job, not go shopping!

poet123

As a parent I "might" lose my temper and let my teen have it both barrels if they did something particularly annoying. As a professional dealing with other peoples teens on a daily basis, I would not handle it the same way. It is about appropriate action, and her actions were inapproriate to her employment conditions.

jenhug

Firstly why is she being paid to drag him around the shops? She is being paid to look after him, has guidelines to follow, so unless she was taking him shopping as an educational tool there was no need for her to be out for a stroll in a shopping centre with her mum anyway
second, why was she paying so little attention to a child she was being paid to mind that she managed to lose him for 10 minutes?
third, it is not her place to smack, end of. no excuses. if she had been doing her job properly she would not have lost him and not had any need to smack.
Personally I would withdraw him immediately, and contact ofstead,

Bitsy_Beans

I am a registered childminder. Report her to Ofsted immediately. Children in my care will be treated as my own but under no circumstances are we allowed to smack (even with parents permission) or even use the threat of it.
As for her taking him to the shops childminders are encouraged to show children the wider community. I don't think it's unreasonable for your child to be taken to the shops but if it turned into a 3 hour trip then that I would question.

galvanizersbaby

sexandthecity wrote: »

I dont think there is anything wrong with taking a child shopping as long as they are properly cared for and watched. Only this afternoon I took my 2 (almost 3 yr old daughter into the city centre) minus her pram, nightmare, she too ran off and I had to chase her round a store but thats life, I am a mum and thats what I had to do, if I was childminding someone elses child I would have to do that too. I never took my eyes off her for a second unless she was in my arms already (then I could look in peace for a minute)

I have smacked my own children very rarely but the threat of a smack is usually more effective in my experience. If I my stomach had dropped through the floor and my little one had disappeared my first reaction wouldnt be to smack her I would be enormously overwhelmed and relieved that she was ok (James Bulger ???)

As for the childminder smacking, there is never a time when it is ok for a paid professional to smack a child under any circumstances whatsoever

But why would you have to go shopping in the city centre when you were being paid to look after someone elses child?

I think the thing is with our own children it is fine for us to go shopping with them and do as we normally would and it it true to say that most childminders are mothers also but with some childminders they seem to quite literally go about their day to day business with their own children in tow (fine) but obviously this involves the children they are minding.

A relative of mine is a childminder and she often goes in to town shopping with her own 2 pre school children and the 3 children she is minding.
To me that is a lot of children to handle in a busy place - I take my 2 in to town occasionally but they are aware of my rules for going in to town and I know they abide by them but I couldn't be confident with extra children in tow.

I don't know the rules and regulations involved in childminding so I don't know what is considered acceptable when out and about and what isn't but surely commonsense is required.
I wonder how many other children were involved in the M&S shopping trip? - just the OP's son? probably not?

pretzelnut

Childcare standards set out by OFSTED:

Standard 6: Safety,
The registered person takes positive steps to promotesafety within the setting and on outings and ensures proper precautions are taken to avoid accidents.


Standard 11: Behaviour,
Adults caring forchildren in the provision are able to manage a wide range of childrens behaviour in a way that promotes their welfare and development.

Standard 13: Child protection,
The registered person complies with all local child protection procedures approved by the area child protection committeeand ensures thatall adults working and looking after children in the provision are able to put the procedures into practice.


It is also perfectly ok for a childminder to take a child shopping although this is supposed to be more like the supermarket. Childminders are mainly used for their home feel care, and as shopping is a part of being at home it's ok. But being in M&S is pushing it.

It is also ok for a childminder to have guests and friends round for a natter - again this is a part of everyday life. Its when it becomes excessive that it crosses the line.

As i have said in an earlier post it is important hat you contact OFSTED immediately and let them deal with the situation, YOu are not to feel guilty that she might loose all her placements and not be earning money, It is your duty to report this. Your child might not be the only one she has smacked. Your child is old enough to speak but others arent. She lost control, has lost your childs trust and if you leave your child there you will always wonder.

She should have also informed you immediately that she had smacked your child. If she is covering this up until it is forced out of her whatelse is she not saying to you about your child???

MrsE_2

BallandChain wrote: »

Your son is 15 and has been with a child minder until last year? I think I must be reading this wrong. Hang on I think you mean you told his dad last year.

I've read the whole thread and wondered if this child minder is registered. I found it odd that the child minder smacked the little boy when she found him. You'd think she would be relieved but it sounds like she hit him out of anger due to having her 'shopping experience' ruined. Please OP, do not send your child back to her care, she isn't fit to look after children.

I too thought it odd that she hit him.

My DS & I were xmas shopping in M&S many years ago & my DD & her DS (2 & 3) disappeared:eek::o
I was frantic.
I probably told them off when we found them, but didn't hit them

plumpmouse

noodledoodle78 wrote: »

Hoping you can offer some advice/ opinions on this one....

My DS 3 goes to a childminder fulltime and has done so since he was four months old. He seems to adore her and vice versa.

I went to pick my ds up after work from my parents who collect him from the childminder every day. They told me that my ds had run away from the childminder whilst out shopping. He seemed really unhappy and kept saying "**** smacked my bum. I am not a bad boy mummy I am a good boy. " I must admit I dismissed it out of hand that she had smacked him and was just concerned that he was safe and OK.

When I got home I spoke to my OH and we agreed that we would phone the childminder and find out what had happened. I was a bit annoyed that she had not contacted me herself to let me know what had happened.

She told me that on Friday they were in a shopping centre with the childminder's mum and my ds "ran away". They were in M&S and he was hiding under the clothes rails as apparently he normally does. Only this time he did not come out. Apparently they spent about 10 minutes racing around trying to find him. They eventually got hold of a security guard and the whole shopping centre was about to be locked down when they found him on one of the rides in the main mall. They had told him he would be allowed on the ride after they had done their shopping and it seems he just wandered off.

She admitted straight away that she smacked him as she was so worried and upset when he had gone missing and wanted to make sure he understood the seriousness of what he had done. She said she treats him as one of her own and that is what she would have done with her own children. She said she would probably get the sack for admitting this in a joking way.

I told her I understood why she did it as I didn't know what else to say.

I can understand that both the CM and her mum were frantic with worry but my OH is adamant that she should not have smacked him. It was not her decision to make.

What worries me is that there have been a number of times previously when my ds has told me that he has been smacked. I understand that kids can make things up - I had previously dismissed this when he had told me, but after Friday I am wondering whether or not this may have happened before. I am not for one minute suggesting she is constantly abusing - I just think she may be using this as a form of punishment if he is naughty.

I brought him to the childminder today and she just shrugged off what had happened. My DS was really unhappy to be there and kept telling me tha the childminder was a naughty girl. I have told him that no-one is allowed to smack him and he must tell me if it happens and to tell the childminder that she is not allowed to smack him.

What do you think?

I've not read all the post but am astounded at some of the comments.

With regards to the smacking I don't agree with it. Not anti smacking (I was smacked) but I have never needed to smack my child for any reason. I find explaining things to him works better.

IMHO a childminder should NEVER smack a child. A teacher/nursery worker would be struck off for it and I can't believe that anyone can condone it at all.

The parts I have highlighted are what really concern me though. She is paid to care for you child. IMO shopping in M&S with her Mother is not caring for you child at all!!! She should arrange her personal shopping/appointments in her time not when she is working.

The other highlighted part of him APPARENTLY hiding as he NORMALLY does implies to me that it is normal for him to hide with her but not something you are aware of. If this is the case the fact that she lost you son is completely and utterly her fault. If she has allowed him to hide from view regularly whilst shopping your child cannot be blamed for not realising that he needs to hold her hand at all times.

My son once hid in clothes rails whilst shopping and for literally 5 seconds I thought I had lost him but he came out when I called. I explained to him (he was about 3 1/2) why he shouldn't do it and to this day he has NEVER done it again. She should have dealt with it reasonably the first time it happened and not allowed it continue.

IMO she is failing to care for him in a standard I would find acceptable and there is no way my child would return to her tomorrow!

consultant31

noodledoodle78 wrote: »

Hoping you can offer some advice/ opinions on this one....

My DS 3 goes to a childminder fulltime and has done so since he was four months old. He seems to adore her and vice versa.

What worries me is that there have been a number of times previously when my ds has told me that he has been smacked.

What do you think?

You say that your DS was really unhappy at being left with the childminder after having his bottom smacked, which is to be expected really!

However, you also say that he's been with her for most of his life so far, and adores her, even though you now think that she's smacked him before!

She shouldn't have smacked him - absolutely no doubt about that, but I think the rantings from some posters are way over the top.

It's up to you, the parent, to have made sure what the rules are for punishment with your CM before placing your child in the first place.

The posters who suggest that she be reported to Ofsted are going too far until you've got to the bottom of why the CM had taken the child out shopping in the first place, how she had managed to lose him and ultimately why she felt the need to smack him.

I'm not one of the 'no smacking brigade'. My children got a (very rare) smack when all else failed - they are all happy, healthy, normal people, despite having their bum smacked occasionally.

As for the poster who suggested that the CM may be undressing and going to the toilet in front of your child since she treats them as her own, well really..............words fail me :rolleyes: