Childminder hit my child

peachyprice

mrcow wrote: »

If the OP has never raised the issue of acceptable methods of punishment with the childminder then it's the OPs fault.
.

No, it isn't. Regardless of whether or not methods of punishment had been discussed, it is totally inappropriate for a childminder to smack a child in her care, even if a parent has requested it.

A decent ofsted inspected, registered childminder would never smack a child, under any circumstances.

mrcow

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

It is not solely a private matter, the childminder is acting illegally

Which law is that?

foreign_correspondent

Just to flag up the fact that this woman has actually broken the law here - she has acted illegally and it has been down to a three year old child to whistle blow on her. As she works in the field I am sure she must be well aware of this legislation, and I find it worrying that she chooses to ignore it :

From September 2003 it became
illegal for childminders to smack the
children in their care.

http://www.c4yp.co.uk/upload/public/attachments/528/IsitLegal04.pdf

for more info, scroll down to read 'the law and smacking' here
http://www.howto.co.uk/family/childminding/responding_to_unacceptable_behaviour/

a8amg

peachyprice wrote: »

You're missing the point completely. Smacking isn't the issue, if parents wish to smack their child fine, let them.

A childminder smacking someone elses child is not acceptable. No ifs or buts.

I wasn't missing the point, I know a childminder by law isn't allowed to smack.... but to me, if you trust them enough (which you obviously do) I personally wouldn't have a problem.... we've even taken the powers of the police to hand out a clip around the ear... which would sort out alot of problems. We are all too protective of our offspring, I know one mother who won't even shout at her kids, and what little brats shes got. I'm not saying we all need to.... just have it as an option if you feel ok with it.
I also know all kids are different, some do listen and behave... others will try their luck, some with more determination than others. If Jamie Bulger had not wandered off, he would have been safe. Kids must learn certain lesson quickly, for safety.

Evansangel

foi1983 wrote: »

Hello Noodledoodle78,

I think this thread has gone a little bit off topic.

I am sure that you didnt come here for judgment so I will give a response to your original question.

You asked what we think. This is what I think:

Let us look at the facts:

• You took your child to the childminder, who then took him shopping with her mother whilst she was on the job, so to speak. I am not sure how you feel about this but in my opinion, this is an issue. If she worked in an office, would she be able to leave and go M&S when she wanted to? No. Her job is to mind your child. She should be doing things he enjoys, things to stimulate his mind, teaching him things instead she has dragged a 3 year old child shopping.

• Whilst not properly minding your child, she took him out without a pram or child reins and left him unattended for a period of time. However long or short this period of time was, she still left your child unattended. He was able to run and hide somewhere and could not be found for 10 mins. This seems very serious to me. It would be different if he had started running off and she saw him in the corner of her eye and saw exactly where he was running to but in this case she absolutely had no clue where he was. Alarm bells should be ringing in your ears noodledoodle78. Did you ask her how long she took her eyes off your child for? This was because she was paying more attention to clothes/food shopping then your child.

• She then smacked your child. This smack was not a well thought out punishment but was a spur of the moment smack because she panicked/was angry. Is that the sort of person that you want to look after your child? Lets put the smack outside for now. The fact is that she was angry when she punished your child. She has admitted that she did not think before she did it. She obviously cannot cope in high pressured situations.

• Now lets get on to the smack itself. Did you expressly tell her to not smack your child? or did she just tell you that she doesnt do smacking? It seems like a strange thig to say. In my opinion something so important should have been addressed before you handed your child over to the childminder. If it had been addressed properly thenthe phrase "I don't do smacking" wouldn't have needed to be said. You would have just told her "to not smack your child" and she would have said "okay then I will not do it as you do not want me to". "I don't do smacking would have not come into it because its not about whether she does smacking or not - it's about you telling her not to smack your child.

• She did not tell you that she smacked your child, your 3 year son had to tell you. That alone has really angered me. What if your child hadnt told you and she did it again? Why did she not tell you? I tell you why...she knew that what she had done was wrong and instead of being a responsible child minder, she kept it from you and thought that your child was not smart enough to tell you.I bet she didnt bank on your bright son grassing her up. Stupid woman.

I dont know your work situation noodle but if this had happened to me I would have done the following:

1. Explained to my child that he should not have run off and that it was naughty of him and that the childminder was worried and that's why she smacked him. But that smacking him was very wrong and she is indeed a naughty girl and that he will not be going there again because of what she did.
2. After you have told him off, give him a big hug for telling mummy that the childminder did something naughty. He is obviously a bright spark. Also remind him that no one is allowed to smack him and that if anyone does he should tell mummy or daddy.
3. Phone the childminder asking what happened, why she smacked your child when you told her not to smack him, if this has happened before and why she didnt tell you?
4. With regards to reporting her, that is down to you. I will say this though...she didnt tell you that she smacked your child, he did. How do you know that it has happened before to your child or any other child?
5. Don't second guess yourself. You are not to blame for someone else's actions. You are trying your best to be a mother and also work at the same time. It is not easy and people may judge you for it but so what? You know you love your child. Give yourself a hug!

Whatever happens, I hope your son is okay because that's really what matter.

Excellent answer. I agree :T

mrcow

peachyprice wrote: »

No, it isn't. Regardless of whether or not methods of punishment had been discussed, it is totally inappropriate for a childminder to smack a child in her care, even if a parent has requested it.

A decent ofsted inspected, registered childminder would never smack a child, under any circumstances.

The child has told the parent on numerous occassions that this has happened before. And the parent has chosen to shrug it off as simply the kid telling lies. And even when the childminder told the parent that they had done it, the parent still - even then - sent the kid back there.

To me, it doesn't sound like it's only the childminder that isn't dealing with this appropriately.

And regardless of your opinion on what is or what isn't appropriate disciplinewise, that is not necessarily the opinion of others.

silvercar

Time for a new childminder.

pandora205

mrcow wrote: »

Which law is that?

http://www.number10.gov.uk/Page3586

a8amg

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

Just to flag up the fact that this woman has actually broken the law here - she has acted illegally and it has been down to a three year old child to whistle blow on her. As she works in the field I am sure she must be well aware of this legislation, and I find it worrying that she chooses to ignore it :

http://www.c4yp.co.uk/upload/public/attachments/528/IsitLegal04.pdf

for more info, scroll down to read 'the law and smacking' here
http://www.howto.co.uk/family/childminding/responding_to_unacceptable_behaviour/

We know its the law..... But its a stupid law. We are slowly turning this country into a place where teenagers rule, where people are affriad to go out, parks become drinking havens for the underaged, then smash their bottles.
We are slowly removing all the areas where a child would be disciplined, and the result is idiot youths who think they can do what they like.

LISSILEIGH

Article 19 of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child concerns protecting children from abuse:

"1. States Parties shall take all appropriate legislative, administrative, social and educational measures to protect the child from all forms of physical or mental violence, injury or abuse, neglect or negligent treatment, maltreatment or exploitation, including sexual abuse, while in the care of parent(s), legal guardian(s)d or any other person who has the care of the child.

2. Such protective measures should, as appropriate, include effective procedures for the establishment of social programmes to provide necessary support for the child and for those who have the care of the child, as well as for other forms of prevention and for identification, reporting, referral, investigation, treatment and follow-up of instances of child maltreatment described heretofore, and, as appropriate, for judicial involvement."

this HAS to be followed by all people who work with children