Daughter lying about boys, keeping secrets

Loopy_Girl

Glen0000 wrote: »

Yes, my wife and I were young when we met and her parents disapproval drove us together which led to a teen pregnany. We do not want out daughter to go down the same path and need to know how to handle this best.

So what you are saying is that her parent's disapproval made you forget how to put a condom on the end of your willie?

Credit her with some gumption that she wouldn't be as careless as you and your wife are and when she is ready to have sex then she will take precautions.

Presumably your wife has had the periods chat etc. Maybe time for her to start broaching how lovely it is to have a boyfriend or someone special in your life but when you are an adult it's best to have sex when you are in love and you use contraception.

Personally I think the boy's family have went way over the top - getting grounded for having a snog is excessive and giving out the message the sex is taboo and forbidden...and you know what could happen there.

She's 14 - she's hardly a baby and boys are going to be in her radar. Maybe you should think about being cool Mum and Dad and having an open relationship that she can feel comfy talking about stuff rather than parents than snoop on her MSN and think that she is going to be as !!!!less as they were.

dmg24

This thread has really upset me. I respect that everybody has the right to bring up their children as they wish (within the bounds of the law), but why do people have children when they clearly do not want them?

OP, your attitude on this and other threads is like something out of the ark. Yes, it is a scary world out there, but your daughter is not going to learn anything by being hidden away from everyone else (and presumably not disturbing your 'adult' life).

If you dislike your child as much as your previous posts suggest, feel free to contact me and she can come and live with me. She will be well looked after, she will not come to any harm, but more than anything, she would be loved.

I don't think your daughter is the problem here. I think you need to look closer to home.

Mutter_2

Jakg wrote: »

I don't think he's coming back after the verbal roasting he just received in the last posts!

Shame for his daughter, mind...

Go and take a look at his previous posts Jakg. Very upsetting. Some are defunct now. They were worse.
That poor little girly.

mumps

Some of the comments amaze me. I'm a mom to 4 and granny to 2 and the idea of a 13 and 14 year old kissing doesn't seem a big deal to me. I had my first boyfriend at 14 and wouldn't have discussed the details with my mother. For heavens sake we all need some space to grow up. I guess I am lucky as my kids have always tended to talk to me alot. Sometimes I have wished they would tell me less! Let the kids have some fun and grow up. Let them have some space, kids seem to be so controlled, supervised, analysed now, no wonder they keep secrets.

Mutter_2

Not quite sure why the comments amaze you mumps as they all, apart from me, appear to approve of boyfriends at the age of 13.

Jakg

Mutter wrote: »

Go and take a look at his previous posts Jakg. Very upsetting. Some are defunct now. They were worse.
That poor little girly.

According to his other posts:

Glen0000 wrote: »

14 yr old boys dont watch films at the cinema! I got my first blow job on the back row of the Odeon. Happy times!

Glen0000 wrote: »

Our daughter is the same. Like you said at her age both me and her mum were out with friends and parents came second fiddle, which is the proper order of things in order for them to gain independance!

Our daughter seems to want to spend all her time with us, which we do worry about. She does not even express an interest in doing her own thing. She is quite childish for her age, so we are hoping in time she will mature. Don't want to force her from the nest, but also worry her social skills are lacking and she will find it hard to catch up.

Mixed messages, much?

Mutter_2

Jakg wrote: »

According to his other posts:


Mixed messages, much?

Yes, very sad for that little girl. Very sad Jakg.

prettypoppyknickers

scubaangel wrote: »

I think with regard to her having been in his room its down to where would you rather she was?
Out in a park/street or in the family home - be it his our yours? I would imagine you or his parents are more able to supervise in a home, but could you ban them from being in bedrooms in favour of being alone in a separate sitting room type arrangement?

i agree i would rather my son be in a room than on the streets.

i was very lucky that i got a bf day one of secondary school and told my parents because i was so chuffed hehe so that lead to me being very open and often bring my bf round.

i can understand why she is secrective if my parents ever read my msn when i was a teenager i would have flipped because what i say on msn is my business.

if she wants you to know she will tell you.

just do nothing when she wants to talk she will talk.

i hated when my mother tried to take me out for lunch to get gossip if something was up i would tell her.

these days its the other way round i ring her 2/3 times a day and she sulks if i dont lol.

ymcas

Glen0000 wrote: »

Gosh you are posh! Only one sitting room in this house!!!!!

I was a little older when I first started dating but my boyfriend was allowed in my room.... just had to leave the door wide open. Kind of some privacy but not enough to get up to too much!

Glen0000

Some very very nasty personal comments on here. I would appreciate it if a mod removed this thead. Once again theads on MSN have led to personal attacks.

I don't know where you all get off on being nasty to a stranger. Obviously you are all perfect.

As someone said. If my daughter got pregnant at 13, you would be the first ones on my case.