why wasn't he invited to the party :(

Damzel_In_Distress

minx79 wrote: »

My difficulty will be in explaining to my children that they won't be attending birthday parties because we do not personally celebrate birthdays. That is going to be even harder when the time comes. :eek:

Is this a joke? Your going to tell your children they cannot celebrate their own or other's birthdays? ...Dont you think this will effect the way they are seen by their school friends? Perhaps even cause teasing?

Is there an actual what you feel "valid" reason for this? Or just a random choice?...Im sorry it just seems so wrong to do that to children.Im not trying to be offensive..just i dont understand.

Loopy_Girl

minx79 wrote: »

Its to do with our religious beliefs, I was brought up never celebrating and never missed it to be honest. And my two little ones are certaintly not lacking in either indoor or outdoor toys! They have far too many if anything! They even have two of some toys just to stop them fighting over it.

I thought it may be religious but wasn't sure. Hope I haven't offended by asking but I was very curious.

And I didn't think for a second your small people went without!

Thank you for answering

minx79

Damzel_In_Distress wrote: »

Is this a joke? Your going to tell your children they cannot celebrate their own or other's birthdays? ...Dont you think this will effect the way they are seen by their school friends? Perhaps even cause teasing?

Is there an actual what you feel "valid" reason for this? Or just a random choice?...Im sorry it just seems so wrong to do that to children.Im not trying to be offensive..just i dont understand.

I am not going to tell my children anything - I am going to teach and explain the reasons why we hold that belief and teach them to respect other people's beliefs. Obviously they will be seen as different by school friends but IMO that is not necessarily a bad thing. And what child does not get teased or picked on about one thing or another? If it wasn't for this reason, a bully will soon find another thing they can pick on.

It's not random, and if when they are older, my children decide it's not for them, then that's fine, it will be their decision.

clairabelly_2

I had a party for my son's 5th birthday I gave HIM the choice on what he wanted - A bouncy castle and invite all class of 26 plus cousins and sister which made 30 kids or a small party in a play centre and invite 15 including family which cost the same as the 1st choice, he choice the smaller party as the large parties get rough, the evening after the invites went out I had a phone call from a mother of a girl in his class saying her daughter is distraught and she was demanding to know why her daughter was not invited to my sons party then she had the cheek to ask who he had invited, I told her my son has chosen what he wants and who he wants to invite and also the children are getting bigger now and not every one will have a large party from now on (she invites about 40 kids to her daughters and loads get hurt) I have noticed some parents are not having parties this year because of the added pressure this woman has put on having a party !

who made the rule that we have to invite the whole class to birthday parties its not as if they all play with the birthday boy or girl ?

suki1964

Teacher2301 wrote: »

something about small potatoes and ex poles blocking sites or whatever!!! I dunno:rotfl:

Its more along the lines that there is nothing stopping you from visiting polish sites if you so wished

suki1964

Damzel_In_Distress wrote: »

Is this a joke? Your going to tell your children they cannot celebrate their own or other's birthdays? ...Dont you think this will effect the way they are seen by their school friends? Perhaps even cause teasing?

Is there an actual what you feel "valid" reason for this? Or just a random choice?...Im sorry it just seems so wrong to do that to children.Im not trying to be offensive..just i dont understand.

Its quite understandable that different religions have different ideas. Not every religion celebrates birthdays.

I found it difficult having nieces and nephews who are Muslim as they dont celebrate christmas. I used to take offence that pressies and card were not appreciated, till I grew up and realised that I was the one in the wrong for not accepting them for who they are. Now I send pressies for Ede

elisebutt65

This year I'm having DS2's 9th party (1st one ever due to finances) at an ice rink with a lesson and food etc - It's costing £16 each so I've told him he can invite 5 friends and that's it - He now has until May to start the politicking :rotfl::rotfl:.

With DS1 I had a party a few years back when he was at primary - He invited about 10 friends and I invited a few of my family and his respite family. This was just a small pizza party at Pizza Hut but I brought my own cake. We ordered some pizzas for the adults BUT one of the Dad's decided to invite himself despite the fact that it was a family and kids party - ordered himself a huge pizza then left early with his son without offering to pay for what he had OR even saying thank you after I gave his son a goody bag - just grunted and shoved off!!! :eek: This was after he sat at a separate table with his son - wouldn't let him sit at the main kiddy table! Needless to say this kid never got invited anywhere now after all the kids told their parents about his rude dad!

Kaz2904

Oh elsie how rude! I think I would have made it clear to the pizza place that it was a separate order from the word go.
Actually no I wouldn't, i like to think I'd do that but I'd be too embarrassed!

moggylover

Hugs to your lad! This sort of thing can really hurt and I admit that most of our parties (until the last couple of years each at primary school) have involved the entire class (not that terrible really, only about 37 in the school - and a whole class is usually between 15 and 20:D ) because I am so adamant that I would not want to hurt a child.

This was always fine until we had two small girls join the school who were Jehovahs Witnesses and I was faced with the problem of them not being allowed to come to parties and I simply could not, not invite them:o and when their mum came to me to explain that they could not come and why I admitted I knew that they would probably not be allowed to come, and it was fine for her to explain to them why: but I would never want them to think for one moment that it was because they were the only two children in the class that I or my son did not want at the party:eek: and thus I would always send them an invite and would not be offended by a refusal to come. She was speechless that someone would have seen it that way tbh, but was agreeable to it and we also agreed that since we always send Christmas cards to every child in the class as well - they could have a card each as long as it did not actually mention Christmas:D .

We don't do expensive parties, I have a lounge stuffed with kids playing musical statues and pass the parcel and Simon says, and we all dance and muck about.They have a birthday tea just like in my day (I'm an oldie so think 1960's:eek: ) and all they get in their party bags is a piece of cake and a balloon, but I am told by the teacher that our parties are always the ones the kids are waiting for and I am happy to know that I have never hurt a single child (even those whose parents I really did not like, or the one or two kids in 10 years that I was not very keen on due to bad behaviour:o ).

We have had our last party this year as DS2 goes up to seniors this year and I am going to miss them greatly:o

Still there are always the summer camping nights (tents in the garden and a barbecue) to look forward to:D

ETA: rise above it, and invite the girl to your sons party - be better than the mum who excluded your son: whatever her reasons.

dizziblonde

minx79 wrote: »

Its to do with our religious beliefs, I was brought up never celebrating and never missed it to be honest. And my two little ones are certaintly not lacking in either indoor or outdoor toys! They have far too many if anything! They even have two of some toys just to stop them fighting over it.

Kids are actually very very accepting of this when a classmate is in this situation. I had a JW boy in my class once and was really really worried about how to approach the situation but once it's explained that X doesn't celebrate his birthday it becomes a pretty much non-issue really (although somehow he always managed to end up with one of the sweets classmates brought in for their birthdays). Most of the class parents were very understanding of it as well and would do things like bring in a chocolate bar for him if they were bringing in creme eggs for the class at Easter and the like.

Probably helped a bit that it was a child who was confident and articulate enough to explain WHY to kids who queried it - but generally they never ever did. He'd also sit there with one ear open during RE time and if it was something not strictly religious he'd ask to join in - for example he asked if he could come make a Spring card when the rest of the class were doing Easter cards etc.