why wasn't he invited to the party :(

prettypoppyknickers

hello

this is the 3rd party this year that my son hasn't been invited to and its starting to bug me.

i was always the kid who was never invited to the parties and dreaded the day my son would feel the same and it happened today.

i collected him from pre-school and one of the girls in his class that he talks about is having a birthday party at a local play gym, and he was all excited that it was this girls party and kept going can i go to bonny scarlets party and i struggled to explain to him why he wasn't invited because i just didn't know and it has now opened the can of bad memories that is bugging me

and its not to do with money figures because she comes from a rich family and his class only has 16 children and the party a head only costs £5 and that includes everything.

so i just dont know what to do its left me dreading that he will be like me and be the only kid in the class not invited

PolishBigSpender

Maybe the girl doesn't like him?
Maybe there's no boys going?
Maybe her parents don't like you?

Really, it's only a party - it's meaningless.

vixarooni

aw, i dunno what to say really Children can be very honest and cruel at times, maybe because youre little one isn't apart of her circle she doesnt want to know? Is she really inviting all 15 children and leaving just your son out? are his friends going?

Has your son had parties that the others have come to? Question overload there, sorry!

square_bear

Friends - quality not quantity.

It will happen the invites will come.

Nicki

When my son was in pre-school/nursery he was only invited to parties where either the parents knew me well, or where the child had a birthday party later in the year than he did, and he had invited that child to his.

Things do settle down a bit as parents and children get to know each other, but the whole birthday party thing in the first year or two of school can be a bit of a minefield.

... and given that this is your 3/4 year old child, and he is upset at not being invited, your concerns are not meaningless or trivial!

emlou2009

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Maybe the girl doesn't like him?
Maybe there's no boys going?
Maybe her parents don't like you?

Really, it's only a party - it's meaningless.

obviously it isnt meaningless though cos it has clearly affected the lady and her son, comments like that arent going to help now are they

Horace

There could be a multitude of reasons why your son isnt invited but I shouldnt stress over it. Do you invite any of his friends to come and have tea? I know its not a party but it could be a first step and that might encourage other kids to invite him to parties.

PolishBigSpender

emlou2009 wrote: »

obviously it isnt meaningless though cos it has clearly affected the lady and her son, comments like that arent going to help now are they

Ultimately, the child is what, 4? It really means nothing - the girl in question will probably change her friends more often than her mother changes her underwear

markelock

I think this happens quite often. sometimes mine is excluded (along with others), sometimes she's invited but we're elsewhere (holiday for example).

unfortunately I am dissapointed and I won't invite that particular child, which is either petty, or pretty logical, as for some reason, mine wasn't invited first time round.

I wouldn't let it get to you though, it will become a self fulfilling prophecy if it does.

and if that really is her name, I'd be steering him well clear!!!

Krystaltips

He's only in pre-school, it's far too early to be worrying about him not being invited to parties... My daughter is in reception and for her birthday party this year we invited all the children in the family,(9) her best friends from church (4) and 2 children from school... It cost us £8 per head and when you take into account cousins etc there was just no way we could of invited all the children in her class...

Puzzledbubbles

Just a thought - but have you tried asking the parent of the little girl? Just say that he must have lost his invite because he is so excited and you were wondering about timings etc and what contribution you needed to make?

That way if he isnt invited the parent can give you a reson to your face, if it is a cost matter and you offer to pay they can then take you up on it - and if everyone else really has been invited then it might just be an oversight and the invite might have been genuinely lost.

Just a thought

x