why wasn't he invited to the party :(

alwaysonthego_2

One of the mums at my daughter's school invited the whole reception class bar one child whose mother she had a fall out with, nothing serious. I did not let my child go out of principle, how can you do that! Her son is the naughtiest child in the year and she is always been called in to see the teacher.

My daughter's birthday is soon but I can only afford to take out 4 of her friends because we go on holiday, so I will let her choose who she wants to invite.

3onitsway

markelock wrote: »

I think this happens quite often. sometimes mine is excluded (along with others), sometimes she's invited but we're elsewhere (holiday for example).

unfortunately I am dissapointed and I won't invite that particular child, which is either petty, or pretty logical, as for some reason, mine wasn't invited first time round.

I wouldn't let it get to you though, it will become a self fulfilling prophecy if it does.

and if that really is her name, I'd be steering him well clear!!!

This strange world of petty bitter parents really worries me! :eek:

At the beginning of year two, my DD had a birthday picnic party, out at a local outdoor play area (about 30 miles away). We have a 7 seater car, so including me and her, there were 5 spare seats so she could invite 5 friends. OH, DS, Mum and Sister were coming seperately in OH's car.

So, the five invites went out to who DD considered her best 5 friends on that particular day. One mum, (who'd i'd had conversations with before this) was obviously upset, and told another mum she wasn't happy her princess hadn't been invited. The other mum told me, so I explained to the mum in question that we were limited to 5 children and it was down to DD to choose these 5 children.

To this day, 2 1/2 years later, this strange woman hasn't spoken to me, has even avoided me in the playground.:rolleyes: .

My DD hasn't been invited to either of this girls partys since. DD had her last party (Yr.3) at bowling, locally, so more could come, and this little girl was invited, and another parent brought and collected her.

The girls are now in little groups, as they do, so DD's bestest friends are a group of 6, this little one is one of them. All 6 have had sleepovers this year, and all of them are invited. Except my DD wasn't invited to her sleepover, and her little one wasn't allowed to come to ours!:eek:

The little girl is lovely, and has obviously recovered from not coming to the party 2 1/2 years ago! The mother needs a slap and telling 'to get over it!'.

melancholly

i guess you can think of it as one less person to invite to his own party - i can understand numbers being limited as i think it really is ridiculous that parents are obliged to invite lots of children and have expensive parties.... it could just be a sign that many parents can't afford big parties atm?

MrsTinks

Goodness... when I was a kid we were allowed to invite a handful of kids and that was is. We could neither afford to invite everyone nor could anyone else. It was considered perfectly normal and it's not THAT long ago
Even when I went to a different school (actually... I went to 8...) where everyone were quite well off (read stinking rich apart from us - we were there because of NATO...) no-one had more than half a dozen for their parties...
Yes ok so possibly your son isn't invited because the girsl mum doesn't like you... well there are lots of people I don't like in the world and probably even more who don't like me If your children are best friends then pity her daughter for having such a petty mum, if they're not best friends then assume that they have only invited those that are considered best friends... either that or they have been invited because they can afford to buy her more expensive presents in which case she's even more petty.

I'd tell your son that she probably was only allowed to invite a small amount of guests but the two of you can go do something fun instead that day Find something even BETTER than her party so when they go back he can brag about his great day out with mummy

MrsTinks

Oh and you assume they are well off... wanna bet that as well off as they seem they probably have huge debts to go with it?

webitha

melancholly wrote: »

i guess you can think of it as one less person to invite to his own party

seriously you wouldnt invite the child coz yours wasnt invited to theirs

i have never been able to give my kids a party til last year and my 2 got tochoose who they invited, my dd1 even invited a boy that she classed as a friend, even tho that boys mum neever invited her to his, and never will coz im a biker and she thought iwas scum til she saw my house and the fact itook them ridinng :D

melancholly

webitha wrote: »

seriously you wouldnt invite the child coz yours wasnt invited to theirs

i have never been able to give my kids a party til last year and my 2 got tochoose who they invited, my dd1 even invited a boy that she classed as a friend, even tho that boys mum neever invited her to his, and never will coz im a biker and she thought iwas scum til she saw my house and the fact itook them ridinng :D

i was actually just trying to point out that small parties are a good thing and it can be a big financial saving to not feel obliged to invite every child your own child has ever met just 'because'. other parents taking the stand on making short invitation lists makes it easier for the rest to follow suit. i mean the kid is in pre-school, surely the large expensive birthday party can at least wait a few years to give parents a bit of a break?!

i was also trying to point out that the lack of an invite could be on purely financial and not personal grounds..........

prettypoppyknickers

i had intended to hire a bouncy castle and do a set up of food in the garden and invite all children and have the ball pit up in the front room and his small bouncy castle up in the bedroom and just do some games outside like pass the parcel and music statues.

i guess i'll just get over it just hope that he doesn't get upset over it again

loobylou2

I have a problem with one of the mums at the nursery my 3 year old daughter goes to. She also happens to be a neighbour but if and when my daughter ever has a party, I'll still invite her children along. It would be small minded and unkind not to and then the other mum concerned can decide if she wants to bring them along or not. I expect she'll probably say not but at least I'll have offered an olive branch. I was very concerned though when I found out that she'd started taking her children to the nursery my daughter goes to but I spoke to the staff there and they assured me that the welfare of all the children was paramount and that they wouldn't entertain the other mum if she started bad mouthing me, my parenting skills or my other children in the playground!!! The kids come first and they shouldn't lose out if their parents can't get along but I also think that financial considerations are becoming an increasingly important consideration in the numbers of party invites parents give out. Theres no way I could afford to invite all the children who go to school with my older children to a party and so they would just have to choose a few friends. Hope this helps and try not to get too stressed about it because at this age children change their friends on an almost daily basis!!!

bestpud

Aww, I know how you feel as this happened to dd1 when she was at nursery but, rest assured, they get over it!

Please don't fall into the trap of tit for tat invites - it's hardly a good message to pass on to your children, however tempting it is.

I mean, what are you going to tell him? "You can invite anyone but 'bonny scarlet', as she didn't invite you"?

I hate to see one or two children excluded and I, personally, would not do it so I've always set the number at about half the class or less, or all of them.

I hate playground politics - it's so darn petty imo! It's like some parents take on a second childhood the minute the set foot through the gate!