why wasn't he invited to the party :(

Janepig

There may only be 16 in your son's class, but maybe the little girl has got lots of family and friends who are not in that class to invite, or maybe she's had an expensive birthday present so her mum has said she can only have a small party. DD went to a party on Saturday which was a High School Musical themed "beauty" party (nails painted and so on) so it was girls only (it was a 6th birthday) - DD was a bit bemused why some of her favourite boys weren't going :rolleyes::D.

The first party I had for DD was in a soft play place and I asked her day nursery to let me know the names of about 8 of her favourite playmates and I invited them (she was 3). Then for her 4th she went to the same place and just invited the girls from her class - there are 30 in her class so there's no way I could afford to invite them all. Then last year I went halfers with another mum for a joint party with another girl in her class who has her birthday 2 days after DD and that meant we could invite all her classmates, plus afew others from outside school.

Tbh, if something like this cropped up with my DD or DS I would completely play it down and although I'd perhaps feel a bit hurt by proxy - we all want our children to be popular - it's not worth a four year old getting stressed about.

Jxx

Teacher2301

We've found that having a party yourself tends to have lots of reciprical party invites. Sometimes you have to make the effort for your childrens sake. Get onto the pre-schools parent committee and get yourself know at their events - this will show you as a committed member to other parents and hopefully invites will appear.

prettypoppyknickers

thank you all for replying i have calmed down now i was just really hurt i guess i try and get nothing in return.

but its ok he went and saw his best friend instead lol

cazziebo

It really isn't worth getting bothered about. There was one mum in our "group" who would take any lack of invitation as a personal slight and confront the offending mother! How awful did her kids feel?

Go and do something fun with your little boy instead. Go and feed the ducks or take a train ride or something really special. No matter how great the party, it will be a distant memory in a couple of days. Don't get sucked in to the school gate politics.

Teacher2301

Good - well done prettypoppyknickers (can we call you ppk?)

tsstss7

My son realised eventually he was more likely to be invited to a birthday party if he had or was likely to invite the other child to his, so would spend a few weeks or more before a pals birthday promising to invite them to his next party to ensure an invite ;o)

In this case I would as think the mum doesn't know you she is less likely to invite your son purely because mums often stay with younger children so she is more likely to invite the ones she is more comfortable with (doesn't mean she doesn't like you, she could just be shy).

In the days when I still did parties, after the age of 6 I left it up to my ds1 to choose who to invite, but before that he seemed to have no one friend or group of friends so I invited a few family children, my mum friend's kids and then the children from school (who I could remember) that had invited my son in the previous year - up to and not exceeding 12 children.....any more than 12 and it's HELL .

oystercatcher

Why on earth can't the OP just explain to her son that not everyone can go to every party. Her upset is probably making him more upset about it . Children have to learn to cope with disappointment and the word NO.

When my boys went to parties where the whole class was invited they tended to be very chaotic, badly organised and a bit overwhelming, especially for a 4 year old. Much better to have a smaller more intimate affair to which of course not everyone can go.

Oystercatcher

oystercatcher

prettypoppyknickers wrote: »

i had intended to hire a bouncy castle and do a set up of food in the garden and invite all children and have the ball pit up in the front room and his small bouncy castle up in the bedroom and just do some games outside like pass the parcel and music statues.

i guess i'll just get over it just hope that he doesn't get upset over it again

I hope you've got lots of adult helpers then, that's 15 small children in four separate areas to supervise, sounds like an accident waiting to happen if you're not very careful! From my experience of parties there will be at least one child who will refuse to sit down and play pass the parcel or come and eat when you're expecting them to all line up like little lambs !

I'm so glad mine are grown up now!

OC

pandora205

The easiest way to get invited to a party is to have one yourself (well your child anyway) and invite everyone. There is an etiquette that many parents have that includes returning invites.

The very best way is to have a party unlike anyone else's. That means putting in more effort than MacDonalds or local activity play area and going for a themed party with lots of space and games. The most memorable party one of mine went to was a Knights and Princesses party, with everyone in fancy dress and games themed around it (jousting with balloons, etc.) He still talks about it now and he's 17!

So........ if you really want your child to be included do a party of your own. It doesn't have to be a birthday party, go for Easter or Halloween. It's loads of work for parents but great for kids!

Francesanne

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Maybe the girl doesn't like him?
Maybe there's no boys going?
Maybe her parents don't like you?

Really, it's only a party - it's meaningless.

Maybe to an adult but not to a child.