Advice on maybe cheating other half

SugarSpun

For what it's worth, I wouldn't be able to be sure he was telling the truth. But if you are, and you're sure it's over, it's maybe time to ask yourself if it matters. Having been found out, even if he managed to weasel his way out of it, might convince him not to do it again, and the lady herself says it's over.

It's up to you to decide what to do next. You could try talking to him - tell him that worrying the last few days about him cheating made you wonder if there's anything you could do to make your relationship better. Involve him in a project of relationship maintenance, and keep communicating as much as possible. Relationships are like plants: you need to nurture them and care for them regularly, otherwise they get withered and nasty.

DaveLy

Ok, so 5 years, he loves you, you still massive doubts, tell him it's part and parce of being female, go on that he's your life and you love him etc.etc., and if he really truly loves you he'll be fully prepared to proove it, and once it's prooven once and for all he'll have gained a woman that now trusts his man 110% (and with some additional benefits in the bedroom that night promise him it's a totally win-win for him, if he's telling the truth.

If he backs out at this point, he's lying to you - even when you was prepared to do so much for him.

At this point, since you know he's lying, you do something bad, get that womans number and unless she gives the FULL details you'll be taking this evidence to her husband.

Simple as that.

Zazen999

Hmm....if I received a text like that for another colleague I'd have deleted it. Just in case my OH saw it and got the wrong end of the stick.

Sorry chuck, but it's painfully convenient isn't it???

callow

I am afraid I think he is lying.

The fact he got angry is a pointer. He was angry because he was caught out, then he put the blame on you. If you had been innocent and someone asked about a text on your phone, your first thought would be to go and look at the text. He knew exactly what text you were talking about.

The old "it wasn't a text for me" excuse is also another pointer.

I can't understand why when caught out, the guilty party just doesn't admit they have done wrong. No, they have to make a whole story to make themselves feel better.

Even after we separated, my ex was adamant that there was no one else. Eighteen months later he admitted there was. I don't understand why he wasn't honest in the first place.

Good luck during this difficult period.

DeeDee74

:rolleyes: i'm with them ^^^^ i think he's not telling the truth.

suekjw

I have to agree, I would ask the work colleague!!!

Pssst

The difficulty is that Carli has shown her cards.

With the benefit of hindsight,she would have kept schtum about her find and used it as the basis for further investigations. Of course thats easy for me to say as im not emotionally involved. Nevertheless he will probably be more guarded now and cover his tracks a lot more thoroughly. Either that or he will realise his mistake and come to heel. Either way..the game begins.......

RoxieW

He's lying.

aspinallkate

I have to agree with Psst, if he is cheating, he will probably be more careful now, deleting texts or even a second mobile as already mentioned.

feelinggood_2

Pssst wrote: »

The difficulty is that Carli has shown her cards.

With the benefit of hindsight,she would have kept schtum about her find and used it as the basis for further investigations. Of course thats easy for me to say as im not emotionally involved. Nevertheless he will probably be more guarded now and cover his tracks a lot more thoroughly. Either that or he will realise his mistake and come to heel. Either way..the game begins.......

I don't think it needs to be a game.

Carli confronted him, he gave her an explanation. She can believe it, and carry on with a normal relationship, or she can doubt it.

If he is lying, it'll be discovered eventually, without any need for snooping, playing games etc.

If he isn't lying, any 'detective work' is likely to harm the relationship further.