What to do, when your child, who is your world, has failed you.

Steph998

OK...so it was my dream and not his.

But why is it, that the heart of my biggest battle....the one biggest fear of mine, as an adult would be... that my son, my teenager, would make one single mistake that ruins his life forever.

How do you let go, and let them get on with it?

Drugs.

Please help me.

Errata

Oh dear Steph, sounds a bit grim. What's happened now ?

Steph998

Errata....he graduated from (admittedly) smoking a bit of pot, to something that makes his chin wobble when I speak to him..he has lost weight, no appetite, blank eyes...anger, denial.......I don't even know what he is taking, but he is not my son any more.

the_other_mce

What drugs, how old is he, how long has he been taking them? What is going on in the rest of his life???
The reason that I am asking is that some people will 'flirt' with drugs and then come to their senses, some people will smoke pot/take recreational drugs on a casual basis for most of their lives (and I'm including alcohol in this!) but still live happy, successful lives - others will be on a slippery slope and require time, effort and patience to recover.
Try not to judge, get the facts and get expert advice - but remember - you're his mother - you know him best (even if he seems like a stranger at the moment). He hasn't let you down (that would be the furthest thing from his mind) - at the moment it's not about YOU - it's his life and the focus needs to be on him....
Good luck - if you want to post on here I know everyone will try to help.....
Chin up - it may not be the worst thing ever....

Errata

Right - this is NOT the time to wash your hands of him. You can help him, but you need to talk to someone about your fears first. Your local drugs team would be a good start. Council switchboard will have their number.

Steph998

I am sitting here, desperate for help, and wondering if perhaps I should just shrug my shoulders, and give up....we have tried so hard to help and support him! My OH and I are fed up (understatement) but at the root of it all, we I love him, and seriously..where to turn?

Errata

Steph, I'm sending you a pm.

Steph998

Errrata....you know the history. Why is it I only come on here for soup recipes...pretending all is well, until I have had one too many and need the help that no one can provide.

Piggybanker

http://www.talktofrank.com/section.aspx?ID=112

or freephone 0800776600

Good Luck

gone4gold62

Steph998 wrote: »

OK...so it was my dream and not his.

But why is it, that the heart of my biggest battle....the one biggest fear of mine, as an adult would be... that my son, my teenager, would make one single mistake that ruins his life forever.

How do you let go, and let them get on with it?

Drugs.

Please help me.

hi and [big hugs to you ]i know exactly what your going through try not to take it all to personally I'm sure it nothing you've done or haven't done some kids just have to try things .can you try to talk to him very hard i know if you do be prepared for him to lie through his back teeth to you ,just try and get some support for yourself as i really think you may need it . good luck

foreign_correspondent

You need to speak to the local drugs team - maybe for help for him, maybe for you - you cannot always change someone else's behaviour, but you need support.