Depression Support Thread

Edinburghlass_2

Well for a first episode I thought it was good but I thought You're Fired was really funny! For supposedly intelligent people they aren't very sensible :rotfl:

absolutebounder

Edinburghlass wrote: »

Well for a first episode I thought it was good but I thought You're Fired was really funny! For supposedly intelligent people they aren't very sensible :rotfl:

Yes it was a great show but remember as one is told here you cant understand the mentality of these succesful entrepreneurs unless you have experienceof high earnings and running a business.
it must seem strange to people that these high earners if they win may be taking a pay cut if they win but in this case its not the money they play for. A year with old sugar is worth much more than money.

Edinburghlass_2

absolutebounder wrote: »

Yes it was a great show but remember as one is told here you cant understand the mentality of these succesful entrepreneurs unless you have experienceof high earnings and running a business.
it must seem strange to people that these high earners if they win may be taking a pay cut if they win but in this case its not the money they play for. A year with old sugar is worth much more than money.

I do, but admitedly not washing cars

absolutebounder

Edinburghlass wrote: »

I do, but admitedly not washing cars

You have to admire them coz they got more than the £5 people pay at sainsbury or tesco.
why didnt they clean windows far more profitable

whitevanwoman

Today I had an interesting debate with several other people who come across as being intelligent and able to express their views clearly. I posted some very personal information which I felt was relevant to my depression and the ways that I have found helpful in dealing with it. I didn't discuss any meds - in fact in one post I specifically said I wasn't going to discuss meds. I didn't promote any particular therapy although I did mention one that I had found helpful but was careful not to go into too much detail. I speculated about other therapies but made it clear I didn't know much about them.

I thoroughly enjoyed taking part in what I thought was an interesting and relevant conversation, looking at other people's points of view. I did not feel that in anyway I was breaking thread rules. I hoped that other people would find some support from some of my experiences. I felt empowered and confident in discussing issues relevant to an illness that has devasted the majority of my adult life.

Having just come in after what had been a really good day, I have found that every single one of my posts today have been deleted. I feel sick and panicky. I feel rejected. I feel like my point of view is worthless. I am wondering what is the point of trying to reach out to discover new ways of beating my illness when other people control what I am allowed to say in order to be part of a group. All my instincts are telling me to run away and hide in shame as I am the useless, worthless, valueless piece of dirt that I have believed I am for so long and I feel like I am back at square one, and that all the confidence and belief I felt in myself a few hours ago was just a sham, a careful clever mask that I put on to fool people into thinking I'm an ok person.

I've struggled with the deleting posts thing in the past even when it hadn't happened to me. I understand the rules and felt that, even though I didn't necessarily agree with them, I could live with them. But to have an entire conversation wiped out is devastating and I now have to get through tonight mulling this one over and over and over - what did I say wrong? what's wrong with me? why can't people live and let live? I have only ever reported one post and that was because it was spam. I would never dream of reporting anyone else's post if they were engaged in an active relevant post with someone else or because I didn't feel I could join in or because I didn't like or agree with what they were discussing. I don't understand why people were offended. There have been times when I have logged on but other posters have been engaged in conversation and I have just lurked, as what they were discussing was not relevant to me or I didn't agree but didn't want to cause any agro or upset.

I'm sorry to say all this and this post will probably get deleted anyway but I'm absolutely reeling, and really upset and I can't keep this bottled up and have no one else to share it with.

donnydiva

I have posted on here previously, and got some lovely posts back, especially very helpful advice from Tiff.:):T

Im not posting necessarily to receive replies, but to get things off my chest. If others have any input, or whatever that is greatfully received.

Typing this I feel so very very low. Everything has been took out of my hands, peoples promises have turned to dust, and I feel badly let down, and just so flat and tired of things.

I mentioned in my previous post about my dad being in hospital. The first social worker who was supposed to sorting things, suddenly decided to close the case because of her impending 2 weeks leave, therefore I had to be assigned to a new social worker.

I met him for the first time 2 weeks ago today (Tues). I had to go through things again with him, because he likes to come to case 'fresh' and basically doesnt want to tread on anyones toes. So I went along with this, and as I said to him, having felt let down by the previous social worker, "if people are straight with me, I will be straight with them".

He rang round and found out that the care services in the area my dad lives in were 'chockablock' so we were probably looking at the beginning of April before his discharge from the hospital.

I received a phone call from the social worker last Friday, asking me questions for the impending care plan, having to answer them whilst I was outside in town which isnt ideal really. He then told me that he was doing this, as he would be on a weeks leave from Tues!! (yesterday). I remarked there wouldnt be anyone working that department by the time they had finished. Wasnt really impressed with that, as he hadnt mentioned this before, but what can you do?

My thoughts were he would be back at work from 1 April, and in the meantime they would be working on the care package being put into place, and I could arrange for the Red Cross to deliver items which would help dad in his bungalow, and get provisions in, etc.

Visited him on the Saturday just gone, nothing important mentioned.

Went to visit him yesterday, having heard nothing since Friday, and was informed "you do know your dad is being discharge today dont you?" Err No I did not!!

In the morning I had been at the bank, arranging a set up with my Power of Attorney, so I can deal with dads banking should it be difficult for him, as it is, for him to go to the bank himself. Therefore my phone was on low volume. When I came out, I noticed a 'Private' call had rung, but not knowing the identity didnt obviously know who it was from. It turned out it was the social worker ringing to tell me about dad going home.

I was totally flabbergasted, I had no indication things would happen so quickly, having had to wait for nearly 3 weeks just to access the first social worker.

The nurses too werent pleased (with the social worker) as they now had to be dashing around, arranging dads medication to take home, transport (as I have no car), etc. They rang through, and to my surprise again, he was there!! He would come up to have a word.

He came up, was totally unconcerned with my distress, frustration and worry at this sudden turn in events. He'd done his job, and he felt happy with what he had done, and that was that. After a rather heated short debate, he waltzed off without so much as a bye or leave. Arrogant so and so.

We then had to sort out dads stuff, I was saying to them that he hadnt got much in as I hadnt known he was coming home, it was all total chaos.

He has a carer coming in the morning and at night. I stopped over last night, but on the advice of a friend came home tonight, as when they met me in town, I just burst into uncontrollable tears, I felt so tired and stressed. They said that I needed a good nights sleep to be in a fit state to see to my dad, and going back to stop tonight would be probably too stressful for me, and wouldnt be beneficial for either of us.

I just feel like I've let my dad down. There is so much (I was told) would be sorted and now needs doing. I already suffer from depression and severe fatigue, so am limited to what I can do, which is exactly not what my dad needs at the minute, a lame duck like me.

I wanted (and had tried) to get all this in place before my dad came home to make things easier for him, and instead its all getting used to carers, financial assessments, and just hassle.

He gets confused, and hasnt got new hearing aids yet, so for him to deal with things is difficult, but then I cannot be there all the time, because physically and mentally I am totally out of fuel, Im just so exhausted with the rollercoaster of emotions.

People I know say I am doing my best, and my dad has said that he knows Im trying my best for him, but it just doesnt seem enough, certainly not what some otehrs can provide, and I just feel like a dead loss to him really. I rang him earlier this evening, and the local cafe, he went to, had delivered the dinner I had rung about. Also I rang the Red Cross this morning, and they had called.

But he had had 18 people come today!! He's 80, he doesnt need this stress and hassle and upset. Its just so unfair how we have both been dropped in it, and landed in this mess.

anyway...... sorry for rambling on, as I say just typing this and getting it out of my head helps slightly. I want him to have a quality of life, but I so desperately want to have a life of my own as well.

Sssssss

Glad wrote: »

Hi all

can we please remember that this thread is here for people suffering with depression to support each other
it's not for debating treatments or for professionals who treat depression to give advice

thankyou

Glad you can continue deleting to your hearts content, but I will ALWAYS repost this :

oh darn it! here you go again with the delete button, I see at least two of my posts removed, one was in support of rosepink and another was in reply to AB, I have NEVER posted about meds, so what sodding rule DO YOU THINK I've broken this time.

you may keep your site, I'm out of here.

I invite you to explain your actions in this open forum why posts that broke no rules have been DELETED!

To all regular posters I suggest a boycott, someone recently posted a link to another site, hope to see you all there.

Glad

Sssssss wrote: »

Glad you can continue deleting to your hearts content, but I will ALWAYS repost this :

oh darn it! here you go again with the delete button, I see at least two of my posts removed, one was in support of rosepink and another was in reply to AB, I have NEVER posted about meds, so what sodding rule DO YOU THINK I've broken this time.

you may keep your site, I'm out of here.

I invite you to explain your actions in this open forum why posts that broke no rules have been DELETED!

To all regular posters I suggest a boycott, someone recently posted a link to another site, hope to see you all there.

it was the abuse team that deleted your post! not me

here is the explanation though; if a post is deleted then every post in which it is quoted will be deleted too, regardless of any other content in that post
that is because we don't edit peoples posts, so we can't just take out the quoted bit
feel free to repost

Glad

just a reminder

MSE_Forum_Manager wrote: »

Hi Folks

Please take a few mins to read and digest this post as we're experiencing a high volume of complaints about some members who frequent this board.

The Health aspect of this board, when it was born, was for people to provide MONEYSAVING advice to keep the cost of staying healthy down. To this end, we were more than happy for people to show where an over the counter style product could be found cheapest, but began with a view that recommendation and advice on health issues wasn't allowed. Frankly, this is an internet forum about MoneySaving, and there are hundreds if not thousands of boards that solely cater to health issues.

Over time, we have tried to allow the community that has evolved organically to chat in more general terms, providing recommendation was still kept to a minimum. However over the last year specifically, the lines have now become blurred and it is time to reign the board in somewhat.

Please understand that this type of issue is EXTREMELY difficult for both the Forum Team, but also the Board Guides to call. We could turn around and remove any single instance of non MoneySaving from this board, including what people deem to be very general advice and specifically support threads.

This brings me on to the mental health thread, although there are a number of similar threads on various topics offering support. We see a support thread as a place where people with similar issues or problems can get together and help each other. They are fast becoming places where people get together and argue and bicker with each other. Added to that, some members are definitely pushing our patience with "grey area" reference to vested interest help. This has to stop.

The amount of resource we are allocating to this board is fast pushing us towards deleting ANYTHING non MoneySaving, though that isn't a decision that has been taken yet. This is a "help us to help you" appeal. I don't think we can be fairer than that - we aren't creating these posts, but we (and i include the Board Guides in this), are taking a huge amount of abuse (and a lot of it is pretty nasty and uncalled for) trying to mediate.

Myself, my team, and the Board Guides (within their remit) always try to take an action that we believe is the best one for the board and the majority of users. Anyone believing we are hatching some machiavellian plan to cause a problem on our own board (and remember our jobs), is probably best looking for alternative forums to spend their time. We have a strict guide, as set out by Martin, that we work to and we do our best to keep a vast and varied demographic as happy as we can.

We can't please everyone all the time, but there are also times where it seems some members, with anonymity and a FREE account, are happy to complain and cause arguments and revel in the fallout. Please stop.

I hope this message has been firmly but fairly conveyed; we want this board to be a friendly and helpful community.

As a final note, please remember we are here to help. If you have an issue, simply report it to [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL] and let us deal with it.

absolutebounder

xx_Jo_xx wrote: »

absolute bounder - have you personally ever been diagnosed with depression?

No, has your doctor? Was paul mckennas solicitor a hypnotist when he successfully defended him in court. have all estate agents owned their own house? Sorry but the question is irrelevant.

Have you ever been prescribed anti-depressants?

Same answers as above.

Have you ever felt that you were so completely and utterly hopeless?

Only at latin and algebra at school

Have you ever felt so alone, and had no one to talk to and turn to?

No there are over 6 billion people on the planet to talk to

Have you known deep inside that you have good reason to live and carry on, but cannot shift the feeling of uselessness that goes to your very core?

No because I know how to rethink things

Have you ever wondered how you got to feeling like this in the first place and then felt even worse because all the people around you keep telling you to 'cheer up' and just think positive, then you beat yourself up cos your clearly not normal as you dont seem to be able to do just that......and youve no idea why????

As above I dont let it go there

I think not.

I dont think you have any real idea of what anyone is going through or do I think you are any sort of professional. Heaven help any one who really feels like this that ever comes to you for advice, help or support as you seem incapable of any of the above.

How one writes and how one behaves with a client is different. I dont expect you text or even write here in the same way you speak. There are people here who have spoken to me. Some people were enjoying the exchange of views yesterday but it was ruined by negativity from a few

My GP has researched and had discussion about positive thinking and cognitive therapies etc,

The way you write that rather shows that he doesnt have much experience of CBT etc

Only my opinion of course, but you said you welcomed them all.

Yes I welcomed them. There are two disciplines in my therapy Authorative and permissive. Because most of my clients dont have time for depression when they come to me they expect to be told what to do. This is the same as when I speak to my solicitor At £250 plus vat I ask what the legal position is and he tells me bluntly. Some people dont like that approach and so with them I use the much softer and waffling permissive approach. Now I cant use both here can i ?