Depression Support Thread

absolutebounder

whitevanwoman wrote: »

Today I had an interesting debate with several other people who come across as being intelligent and able to express their views clearly. I posted some very personal information which I felt was relevant to my depression and the ways that I have found helpful in dealing with it. I didn't discuss any meds - in fact in one post I specifically said I wasn't going to discuss meds. I didn't promote any particular therapy although I did mention one that I had found helpful but was careful not to go into too much detail. I speculated about other therapies but made it clear I didn't know much about them.

I thoroughly enjoyed taking part in what I thought was an interesting and relevant conversation, looking at other people's points of view. I did not feel that in anyway I was breaking thread rules. I hoped that other people would find some support from some of my experiences. I felt empowered and confident in discussing issues relevant to an illness that has devasted the majority of my adult life.

Having just come in after what had been a really good day, I have found that every single one of my posts today have been deleted. I feel sick and panicky. I feel rejected. I feel like my point of view is worthless. I am wondering what is the point of trying to reach out to discover new ways of beating my illness when other people control what I am allowed to say in order to be part of a group. All my instincts are telling me to run away and hide in shame as I am the useless, worthless, valueless piece of dirt that I have believed I am for so long and I feel like I am back at square one, and that all the confidence and belief I felt in myself a few hours ago was just a sham, a careful clever mask that I put on to fool people into thinking I'm an ok person.

I've struggled with the deleting posts thing in the past even when it hadn't happened to me. I understand the rules and felt that, even though I didn't necessarily agree with them, I could live with them. But to have an entire conversation wiped out is devastating and I now have to get through tonight mulling this one over and over and over - what did I say wrong? what's wrong with me? why can't people live and let live? I have only ever reported one post and that was because it was spam. I would never dream of reporting anyone else's post if they were engaged in an active relevant post with someone else or because I didn't feel I could join in or because I didn't like or agree with what they were discussing. I don't understand why people were offended. There have been times when I have logged on but other posters have been engaged in conversation and I have just lurked, as what they were discussing was not relevant to me or I didn't agree but didn't want to cause any agro or upset.

I'm sorry to say all this and this post will probably get deleted anyway but I'm absolutely reeling, and really upset and I can't keep this bottled up and have no one else to share it with.

Excellent post

upsetonerightnow

AB Considering you don't or never have suffered from depression you will not really understand how people feel. You seem very harsh with people when some of them do not need it right now. Maybe if you suffered from it yourself you might understand that what your saying to people is harsh. I know you have upset quite a few members on this board with what you have said so maybe you should take the kinder approach?

rosepink1984

Quote AbsoluteBounder:
Originally Posted by xx_Jo_xx
absolute bounder - have you personally ever been diagnosed with depression?

No, has your doctor? Was paul mckennas solicitor a hypnotist when he successfully defended him in court. have all estate agents owned their own house? Sorry but the question is irrelevant.

Have you ever been prescribed anti-depressants?

Same answers as above.

Have you ever felt that you were so completely and utterly hopeless?

Only at latin and algebra at school

Have you ever felt so alone, and had no one to talk to and turn to?

No there are over 6 billion people on the planet to talk to

Have you known deep inside that you have good reason to live and carry on, but cannot shift the feeling of uselessness that goes to your very core?

No because I know how to rethink things

Have you ever wondered how you got to feeling like this in the first place and then felt even worse because all the people around you keep telling you to 'cheer up' and just think positive, then you beat yourself up cos your clearly not normal as you dont seem to be able to do just that......and youve no idea why????

As above I dont let it go there

I think not.

I dont think you have any real idea of what anyone is going through or do I think you are any sort of professional. Heaven help any one who really feels like this that ever comes to you for advice, help or support as you seem incapable of any of the above.

How one writes and how one behaves with a client is different. I dont expect you text or even write here in the same way you speak. There are people here who have spoken to me. Some people were enjoying the exchange of views yesterday but it was ruined by negativity from a few

My GP has researched and had discussion about positive thinking and cognitive therapies etc,

The way you write that rather shows that he doesnt have much experience of CBT etc

Only my opinion of course, but you said you welcomed them all.



AB, you seem to have missed the point. The questions posted by Jo above show how a depressed person feels. Your answers show that you have no comprehension of how depressed people feel. It's not as simple as "not going there" or not having time to have depression. I, and every depressed person, did not choose "to go there" and believe me we don't want this illness. That's what you don't seem to understand. When you are in an emotionally vulnerable state it's not helpful to have someone imply that they chose to be like that and that it's possible to avoid having depression by choosing "not to go there."
Why do you come on this thread? You don't seem to come on here to support anyone with depression, which is the purpose of this thread. It seems to me you come on here to be controversial. Please tell me if I am wrong.

beachbeth

I was enjoying the debate yesterday and was trying (unsuccessfully) to get AB to see depression in a different way because its obvious from some of his posts that he just doesn't understand it. This doesn't bother me because its not as though I know him personally and he isn't my doctor! However, I can understand this will upset some people as we all like to be supportive on this thread.

I can understand one particular thread being deleted and even one of mine where I mentioned the effects of an anti-d (even though I didn't name it) but I have had other posts deleted which didn't break the rules too.

I agree wholeheartedly with whitevanwoman's post - she has put her view very clearly and it is also my view. I suspect that whoever reported posts yesterday didn't just do it because they felt that rules were being breached but because of other, personal and maybe even nasty reasons. This is a shame on a thread where we are all suffering the same condition and are trying to help each other.

Im sorry to say this, AB, but you really don't understand depression and you make this obvious from a lot of your posts, which is why some people get upset.

I have read the book, Undoing Depression by Richard O'Connor Ph.D (who has also suffered from depression himself and in it he states "I believe now that depression can never be fully grasped by mental health professionals who have not experienced it. Ive repeatedly seen 'comprehensive' theories of depression develop, flourish and dominate the field for a time, then be rejected because new, contradictory evidence is found. These are all theories that try to explain depression from a single point of reference - the unconscious, the brain and its chemistry, cognitive processes, family interaction. Many psychologists and psychiatrists seem to have a fatal predilection for theory building - for making their experiences fit with some preexisting theory or for destroying someone else's theory or for developing a new theory that will explain it all - rather than trying to figure out practical ways to help their patients......Depression is partly in our genes, partly in our childhood experience, partly in our way of thinking, partly in our brains, partly in our ways of handling emotions. It affects our whole being."

weegie.geek

I come and go. I hadn't visited the site for a couple of months before this week, but it seems that AB is still causing tension between the regulars on here.

I have to ask why he doesn't just stop posting in this thread. He's doing harm. Anyone can see that. I'm sure he can see that, yet he continues to post.

Whether he means to or not is irrelevant. He's upsetting people, people who are more easily upset than most, and people for whom getting upset has wider implications than just getting !!!!ed off and closing their browsers.

It's clear that he has no idea about mental health, or how to deal with people.

Please AB, stop posting in this thread. You're doing more harm than good.

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! hope all is well.:hello: Weegie! I am fine today,just off out to my church to see friends and have a good day

Hope everyone is well.


love and light,

Katie xxx

weegie.geek

Morning Katie!

Watching Cbeebies with the wee one then going shopping. Fun times!

Tulip

weegie.geek wrote: »

Morning Katie!

Watching Cbeebies with the wee one then going shopping. Fun times!

yes Fun times :rotfl:


Katie

clipboard2

Hello friends:hello:

I'm sorry to read many of you are understandably feeling distressed from recent posts/deletions. Thank you Glad and Edinburghlass for your continued support here.

In the old days as a youngster I thought depression and mental illness were the result of faulty ways of thinking which just needed changing through advice and education.

How wrong I was. And how arrogant.

All my degrees, knowledge and general academic wonderfulness did not help a person suffering from depression one jot.

What did help was real care and support (which is costly), listening, simply being there for someone. Not judging. Not assessing. Not offering advice or information.

As a Samaritan, I've learnt that the less I say, the more the distressed caller seems to experience relief and calm. Simply being listened to, without judgement actually enables the person in despair to discover for themselves fresh ways of overcoming what is troubling them.

In my experience, people who want to intervene by imposing their pet theories (whatever they may be) on hurting people eg suffering depression have issues themselves that they are attempting to work through by "helping" others.

Big <hugs> to those who need them
Take care CB2X

shazrobo

hi cb2, i think the samaritans are fantastic, and have literally saved my life in some really desperate times.
thankyou for doing such a worth while job

hugs

shaz xxx