am i entitled to anything re common law relationship

Skint_Catt

anniehanlon wrote: »

If a man hit me he wouldnt dare sleep at all.

Your signature is quite apt to this thread too! She's basically giving him permission to treat her like this so why should he ever change??

MrsE_2

anniehanlon wrote: »

If a man hit me he wouldnt dare sleep at all.

Thats what mine means;)

AnnieM_3

If he has done all these things then there is only one thing to do:

Leave - go to a b&b for a few days if necessary, and put your stuff in storage while you find somewhere more permanent.

Get a proper removal firm in to pack and move your stuff while he is out one day - many firms will be able to pack for you on the day, and will be very quick. Don't give him any warning. No second or last chances. I wouldn't even bother with a note. Just go. Make sure you tell your bank/utility companies/mobile phone co./council (for tax/electoral roll) you have moved out. Your landlord may be helpful re rent/letting you out of the contract if you speak to them and explain the situation.

I'd be tempted to take the stuff he made you buy to sell, but I don't know about the legalities of that - you would need to make sure you didn't break the law.

You also need to report him to the police for the DV incidents and animal cruely incidents.

Good luck for the future - I think you'll find life without an abusive loser dragging you down is much better! :j

belfastgirl23

At the risk of sounding unsympathetic, your boyfriend didn't make you anything. You have decided to sacrifice everything in order to stay with him. He didn't make you do it, you chose to do it. The upside of this admittedly harsh way of looking at things is that you still have a choice. You can either sit and wait for him to throw you out or you can move out yourself. Whilst I understand there was violence in the relationship, if he is saying he doesn't want to be with you then he should have no reason to stop you from leaving.

I'm not getting into the rights and wrongs of what has happened in the past - we could all sympathise and say how horrible it's been but that's no help to you. What matters is the future. And if you keep seeing yourself as a victim, you'll continue to be a victim. You need to recognise that you have also allowed him to behave in a totally unacceptable way towards you. And it has to stop here. So start figuring out now how you're going to get out. I don't think money is really the problem in a way - if you've been funding his expensive lifestyle then hopefully fairly quickly you'll find you're better off without him financially as well as socially. And there are organisations out there that can help you.

For the record though he is clearly an idiot and you will undoubtedly be a lot better off without him. And god help the younger woman who ends up with him - she will earn any money she gets from him (if indeed she gets any at all).

mischiefmaker

Sorry I don't really have anything constuctive to say but just thought I would send you a hug, take care of yourself. No one deserves to be treated like that and i would be doing anything to get out of there as quick as possible.

skintchick

Is it only me who thinks this might be a troll?

LilMissEmmylou

skintchick wrote: »

Is it only me who thinks this might be a troll?

nope - not just you

AnnieM_3

skintchick wrote: »

Is it only me who thinks this might be a troll?

The incidents described are quite extreme, and we do seem to have had a few recently. However, I'd hate to think someone in need of help or advice was denied it. I know from experience that truth can sometimes be far stranger than fiction...

skintchick

AnnieM wrote: »

The incidents described are quite extreme, and we do seem to have had a few recently. However, I'd hate to think someone in need of help or advice was denied it. I know from experience that truth can sometimes be far stranger than fiction...

Agreed, but it all sounds far too extreme to me to be real. It doesn;t have that ring of truth.

AnnieM_3

skintchick wrote: »

Agreed, but it all sounds far too extreme to me to be real. It doesn;t have that ring of truth.

I really hope you're right, to be honest. Otherwise, this bloke sounds like serial killer material - committing acts of cruelty to animals is meant to be a sign of a seriously disturbed mind, isn't it? Hence I advised the OP to just up and go asap.

If it was a troll post I would advise seeking help, as posting something like that would suggest to me some underlying issues that might need dealing with...