MSE Pregnancy Club IV

Little_Pickle

Thanks again ladies... we've tried talking about it - and I know he's a bit usless - so does he. We laugh about it most of the time, but I'm so tired that a little gesture, something simple like washing up when he's got a full day off work, would be nice.

Little_Pickle

thanks Mrs T.

This evening we were supposed to go out together. To see a very good friend of ours we haven't seen for the best part of a year.

I was in the shower and he came in to talk to me (idle chat) and he said tonight will be a big one, so I probably won't come home with you.

Because of my hormones and tiredness I asked what he meant and he mentioned putting me in a cab. This is to me, after 2 months of extreme tiredness and adjusting to the pregnancy felt very, very unsupportive.

I KNOW it's stupid, but it made me feel like I was a spare part.

I was prepared to stay out until around midnight or there abouts... what's wrong with coming home with me? Or was he just expecting to put little old pregnant wifey in a cab and carry on partying???

I'm tired of supporting whatever he does. I thought it might be different and that I might get a little more help than this. Emotionally and within our everyday life.

Maybe I am asking too much?

MrsTinks

I think it's a little 50/50 pickle
Yes it's insensitive of him to not even consider how you might feel being "bundled" off like that - I'd not be impressed either! And you should have seen my face the other day when I jokingly asked DH if a new maternity top I'd bought "made me look fat" and he turned round and in earnest said "yeah it does"... Was closely followed by me pointing out that he could at least have the decency to lie to me and make me feel a bit better about getting bigger bearing in mind he knows I am conscious of my weight and size etc. His argument was that getting bigger is part of being pregnant, he loves me regardless and thinks I should stop worrying about it. Cue pointing out that not fancying me because I'm pregnant isn't helping me feel good about myself - I know he can't help not being turned on because I'm pregnant and me having hormones coming out my ears but could he be just a LITTLE more sensitive! We had a little chat about it and at least now he lies to me when I ask if I look fat :rotfl:

On the other hand unless you tell him just how you feel (and let's face it - men need to be told several times to understand and remember!) and what has upset you then he can't make it better - if he'd known how upset you felt about him just wanting to ship you off then maybe he'd have realised how insensitive he came across and have explained that he'd really like to have stayed out but understand that you would have gotten tired and so thought you'd prefer going home - if you'd said you'd like to have come but that you'd like him to have come home with you maybe he would have and would have understood how important it was to you?

Try speaking to him tomorrow when he's home again - and imagine you could get to a point where like me you actively TRY and ship him off for an evening just so you can have the remote to yourself!!!!

Sami_Bee

Pickle I'm sorry your feeling poop I'm not sure I have anything useful to say but if you want to teach him a lesson can you deadlock the door or leave the key in so he's locked out and doesn't get to sleep in comfort? (am I evil for saying that on such a cold night?)
I'm afraid I have my hubby on a bit of a short leash and he's not a party animal so not experienced anything like that myself, Love n hugs to you x

Sami_Bee

candice56 wrote: »

Im not 25 weeks yet so have just typed in my mobile number on directgov and they will send me a reminder to claim.

you can put your claim in now to try to get ahead of the rush :T

Scarlsborough: thanks for that number! I was just complaining on the HiPG thread that we should be able to get hold of the form ourselves instead of trying to track down a MW who has one!

Sami_Bee

skintchick wrote: »

Sami - your scan pic is lovely! How come you got three? Did you ask for extra? How exciting for you. x

Hope everyone else is well.

Its actually 2 printed pics the foot one she did half n half,
she did the whole body shot with out me even asking and then as she pointed out heart, arms, legs etc when she got to feet I thought they looked cute so just said could I get a pic of feet and that's what she did :T I love them, spesh as it was quite hard with my naughty almost empty bladder and bubbs trying to hide behind my hip bone :rolleyes:

feelinggood_2

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Its actually 2 printed pics the foot one she did half n half,
she did the whole body shot with out me even asking and then as she pointed out heart, arms, legs etc when she got to feet I thought they looked cute so just said could I get a pic of feet and that's what she did :T I love them, spesh as it was quite hard with my naughty almost empty bladder and bubbs trying to hide behind my hip bone :rolleyes:

Do most places only give one picture?

At the two NHS ones, I got quite a lot. 4 at the first one, 8 at the second.

I asked for a foot one at my 20 week scan - it was the only bit of him on show! He moved around as soon as I asked, so I ended up getting lots!

3onitsway

I got three free ones at first scan, and 8 for £2.50 at second scan - again, postcode lottery me thinks .

I'm up really late after a stinking row with OH!! First one in ages since my hormones have settled down!!

It all boils down to babys surname. We were discussing first names, and I said, in a half joking way, if I can have one of my two favorite first names, i'll consider his surname for her.

DS and DD are to my ex (absolute to$$er! - i was young and stupid!), and have his name - which I totally regret now :mad: . I have my name (never married), and everyone assumes baby with have OH name. But why should she?

Is anyone else in the same/similar situation re names?

He thinks i'm totally negative as one of my arguements is that he could !!!!!! off in months/years time, leaving me with my name, DS and DD with their name, and DD2 with yet another name.

I know he's not my ex, as he keeps reminding me etc, etc - but you never know what the future holds.

Any outside opinions would be welcome if anyone it still up!

elle_gee

Our scan pics are £3 each!

Afraid I can't help on the surname thing.. OH and I aren't married (might get round to it some day!) but baby is having his surname. It's a lot more common than mine, although they'll still be the evitable "how do you spell that?" ("v" or "ph") but at least there won't be complete misspellings or people mishearing it like I get!

astonsmummy

Little_Pickle wrote: »

thanks ladies...
I'm the supporter in our relationship. I feel like I need the support now. and despite me crying for help and being quite specific... it's not happening.

We had a huge row and he's gone out.
(we were on our way out and he made a careless remark which highlights that he doesn't understand the impact of this change on me, my state of mind and my body.)

He wanted me to go too, but I am feeling so upset, that I told him I couldn't go out and pretend to enjoy myself.
I am so overwhelmed and scared, but he just doesn't see it.

Aww hun, I know the feeling.
I dont really know what to say though, but i'm sure everyone else has said better things than i can come up with.
Just remeber you aint on your own, well not on here anyway xxxxxxx