A not so happy relationship

Zazen999

Staciep88 wrote: »

why would he do it all again,

Because he can.

Seriously, any decent man who was really genuinely sorry would hang their head in shame and understand why you had to go. They would also not contact you until they had sorted their anger out.

wannabe_sybil

Anger management classes help people deal with anger and pain they feel inside.

Hitting you where it won't show is not a sign of anger. It is a sign of an abusive person. Hitting you where it won't show is nothing to do with anger.

And if he does sort out his debts and you get back he will be able to run up more debt, this time in joint names which will make it even harder to leave him and he can keep hitting you. It will be even better for him to get you deeper into debt and with children, because that makes it even harder for you to keep away from him. Has he suggested starting a family together because it will be different then?

He will promise you the moon on a stick. If he loved you he would not have hit you. If he loved you he would have complimented you. Everyone of the women on here who have been abused, some of them far worse than you, will tell you that one of the first things they do is promise it will never happen again.

calculatethis

Hi stacie, very well done. You have done the right thing.

I really really admire you!

Im trying to get out of a similar situation myself but have the added complications of a house to sell and a very confused and upset child who is missing her dad.

You will feel better day by day i promise. Just take it a day at a time.

Please stay strong.

katiekittykat

Well done hun

Ignore his texts - better still get a new sim card then he cannot get in touch with you!

You always have this thread if you ever need support hun

xxxxx

ticklepenny_2

Having taken the monumental step to get out of there DO NOT go back! No matter what he says he will always revert back to behaviour patterns in times of stress. Please do not go back, do not speak to him, if you need to it may be best to stop talking to his family. Go away for a week if you can to a friends or where ever. Remove yourself from the path of temptation so to speak. Please please dont go back.

AnnieM_3

:eek: Please don't go back!

It may well be the worse for you if you do, as he will know that he can manipulate you, and will probably punish you for walking out on him. He will try to make sure you don't leave again - not by being a nice, good person, but by making you so fearful of him and dependent on him that you won't have the mental strength to go.

Either that or he'll simply kill you (either by accident through going 'too far' when he hits or chokes you, or in sheer cold blood).

Don't make yourself a victim ever again - you have a choice now - either you can be happier and alive - able to live your life without fear, or be miserable, bruised and possibly dead. Your ex is a worthless piece of scum - if he has 'anger issues', how come it's you that he takes it out on? I'll tell you - it's because he is a weak, emotionally stunted, spineless little worm who can only feels like a man when he's feared.

Let him beg, plead and cry, and then tell him he's done this to himself.

Stay strong, Stacie - we're all behind you!

AnnieM x

scouserwench

Christ, You help him out and he turns into an !!!!!! by beating you up and goes all possesive. Seriously You need to get rid of the Sponger. Tell him to Pay him it himself. He's Seriously taking the !!!! out of your goodnature. Quit being a Cashpoint to him, Grow some Backbone and !!!!!! him off!

And a word of advice.. NEVER EVER GET BACK WITH AN EX! It wont be the same, The reason you split with that ex cos it didnt work. They are an EX for a reason. I learnt the Hard way from the Past, I was at my lowest point and when Your at the Lowest in Your life you dont need Idiot Ex's hanging about. That happened to me 4 years ago! As far as Im conserned My Past is Dead & Buried, I dont have anything to do with any of it or people Part of it. I chose to cut all that Emotional !!!! out me life, as it made me the Tough !!!!! I am today.

I am now Married to a Lovely man Who I've been with nearly 2 & 1/2 years and Been Married 9 months! He's the best thing thats happened to me and he doesnt take me for a mug!

hocuspocus22

Hi Stacie, you have no idea how happy it has made me to read that you had the courage to leave your OH. You will be safe with your family.:rolleyes::j

It would be a great idea to seek a professional opinion on the matter -NOT becuase you need help but because you need support and it will help you to put things in perspective speaking with a completely neutral person.

and scouserwench is right, your OH is a 'ex' for a reason. please dont ever forget what that reason is. i wish you all the luck and hapiness in the world. :rotfl:

HP xxx

Zazen999

I notice there's no posts on here saying 'I had a violent partner and he had anger management and ever since, he's been absolutely fine'...

Staciep88

Zazen: No you are right but I also notice that my counseller has said to me just earlier today that alot of mean can change. Some don't but he has seen the change happen lots of times and beleives that we can get through it. We will just have to see.