A not so happy relationship

Stephb1986_2

Just one question... why are you waiting till next time? the first time is bad enough, the second worse never mind how many times this has happened, your allowing this to happen to you when you say one more chance, how many more "one more chance" are you going to give him? He doesn't deserve another chance to do this to you.

Steph xx

calculatethis

Stacie, I dont think there is anything more anyone can say, its your decision.

You are a pretty girl, you are young, you have family that love you. Even HIS family obviously care for you, they are never going to HATE you.

Heres a suggestion:

rather than wait for him to react badly again, why dont you take some time out and go back to your folks for a few days and think about it. Dont tell him you are leaving him or anything, why not make up some excuse and say you are not feeling 100% and want some tlc from your mum for a few days.

This will give you some breating space to think, in a place where you are safe and loved.

solongmarianne

xxlaurissaxx wrote: »

Read this from another thread - Do you reaslly want to wait for this to happen before you will leave him? -

I am just going to jot s=down my feelings about my life over the last week or so and it would be lovely if anyone had some advice for me,

up until saturday my partner lived with me (my house everything paid for by me)
saturday night he came home far drunker than usual (he is an alcoholic in my opinion) and attacked me/strangled me until I lost consiousness. now I called the police who were fantastic , he was found the next evening and arrested, bailed on conditions that he does not come near me, which laughably he broke straight away!!

I will not be taking him back , as I really did think my time on earth was up saturda night, however I do still love him, its stupid isnt it!!

this is from my thread, and this was the first AND ONLY time he has attacked me, things like this dont go away , poeple that do it dont change, they will continue to abuse us all the time we let them, my ex doesnt get a second chance with my life, I very nearly died saturday night, maybe it will take for your partner to strangle you until you pass out for you to realise?? I cannot emphasise enough how dangerous these people are, yes I still love him, and now I will not be getting spoilt rotten at xmas like I usually do but I AM ALIVE and I intend on spending every penny I was going to spend on him on myself and having a damn good xmas and more importantly a long and happy life I hope you choose that too xx

lauren_1

Do you think its wise to have a picture of yourself showing in your avitar??

If he stumbles across this thread do you think he would be calm about it?

paddy's_mum

I'm pleased that she has a picture of herself on her avatar as I am becoming more and more inclined - from sheer fear for her well being and utter frustration that I can't save her from her possible death - to track her down and damned well kidnap her, before handing her over to her parents to keep caged for six months. Stick her in a Rapunzel tower and hope that a few weeks of solitude and thinking will make her realise the risk she is taking!

As for lauren's highly astute question .. Stacie, what do you think your punishment will be if he ever does come across your thread? Those flowers that showed up in that powerful and awsome poem a few posts ago?!!!!

AnnieM_3

:j Seize the moment, honey! :j

You know you are making excuses for not leaving - that's understandable as you have obviously had feelings for him, and they are hard to just switch off - but you have to let your sense of self-preservation and your female intuition rule on this one, and get the heck outta there!

Then you can have a big party - buy yourself something new to wear and some new makeup, and invite your friends and family round to celebrate your new beginning!

:T You can do it!!!!! :T

Smashing

AnnieM wrote: »

:T You can do it!!!!! :T

Of course she can.

But she doesn't want to. And until she does, there's nothing anyone can do or say.

You make choice and you live with your consequences.
First time he hits you, you're a victim.
Second time you're a volunteer.

Uniscots97

Stacie, how are you? Have you decided what you're going to do? I'm worried about you.

Staciep88

Please dont be worried - I'm OK. If I'm honest - I'm still in the same frame of mind. And the reason is becuz if I'm honest I'm not 'scared' anymore. Ok, Im not saying I can take the world on, but I am saying that I feel confident enough to leave at the next sign. And I know everyone is going to say why wait, but I have already answered why I feel I cannot at the min. But I can also say that I do wish he had left the other day as then it would be over and I wouldnt be sat here worrying about it. I have just found out that my sister's FIL runs an anger management / abusive relationships clinic. I may go along and have a word with him.

Zazen999

Staciep88 wrote: »

I have just found out that my sister's FIL runs an anger management / abusive relationships clinic. I may go along and have a word with him.

Hi

If you do one thing, please go and see him.