A not so happy relationship

Zazen999

Edinburghlass wrote: »

They'll be equally angry no matter when you tell them, do you really want to head towards Christmas in this relationship and living with his parents? I really can't understand why you are still there and spending your day making excuses for not going.

I'm a mother of an 18 year old, pack your stuff and go home and let your family sort out getting him our of their house.

They will probably be more angry for not seeing the signs than angry at you.

Why not give yourself a great Christmas and get yourself single now, that way you've got a few weeks to prepare for a fab festive time rather than fleeing his parents house on christmas eve when it all comes to a head?

Sorry chuck, but if he's done it before he will do it again - he's probably laughing at you for the 'if you do it again it's the end' tagline.

Staciep88

Edinburghlass wrote: »

They'll be equally angry no matter when you tell them, do you really want to head towards Christmas in this relationship and living with his parents? I really can't understand why you are still there and spending your day making excuses for not going.

I'm a mother of an 18 year old, pack your stuff and go home and let your family sort out getting him our of their house.

Angry at what?

Staciep88

Zazen999 wrote: »

They will probably be more angry for not seeing the signs that angry at you.

Why not give yourself a great Christmas and get yourself single now, that way you've got a few weeks to prepare for a fab festive time rather than fleeing his parents house on christmas eve when it all comes to a head?

Sorry chuck, but if he's done it before he will do it again - he's probably laughing at you for the 'if you do it again it's the end' tagline.

All the Christmas presents are already bought and its my birthday christmas day aswell, I no how pathetic that sounds but i dont wanna be on my own :-( We wont be at his over the Christmas Period either. Sorry but I cannot just leave now, I told him one more chance and thats what he's got, I've told my mum to expect me home.

xxlaurissaxx

Staciep88 wrote: »

Angry at what?

For not seeing what hes doing to you. Read my post above and answer my question. It will make you think. xx

xxlaurissaxx

Staciep88 wrote: »

All the Christmas presents are already bought and its my birthday christmas day aswell, I no how pathetic that sounds but i dont wanna be on my own :-( We wont be at his over the Christmas Period either. Sorry but I cannot just leave now, I told him one more chance and thats what he's got, I've told my mum to expect me home.

What would you do if he left you? (he obviously wont but imagine he did) Youd be on your own anyway. You've got your family and friends so thats no excuse.

xxlaurissaxx

Read this from another thread - Do you reaslly want to wait for this to happen before you will leave him? -

I am just going to jot s=down my feelings about my life over the last week or so and it would be lovely if anyone had some advice for me,

up until saturday my partner lived with me (my house everything paid for by me)
saturday night he came home far drunker than usual (he is an alcoholic in my opinion) and attacked me/strangled me until I lost consiousness. now I called the police who were fantastic , he was found the next evening and arrested, bailed on conditions that he does not come near me, which laughably he broke straight away!!

I will not be taking him back , as I really did think my time on earth was up saturda night, however I do still love him, its stupid isnt it!!

Zazen999

Staciep88 wrote: »

All the Christmas presents are already bought and its my birthday christmas day aswell, I no how pathetic that sounds but i dont wanna be on my own :-( We wont be at his over the Christmas Period either. Sorry but I cannot just leave now, I told him one more chance and thats what he's got, I've told my mum to expect me home.

Stacie; Christmas presents didn't ever enter my mind; something to do with my sorting categories being about different things to yours - and I think you are being a bit picky about the location - but it's your decision to make.

Yes, you have given him one more chance; which means it's his last chance to make an impact.

I really hope he doesn't, but it is your choice to make - not ours.

Have you re-read your first post on this thread lately?

ETA; you did mention earlier on this thread about making excuses, so I'm guessing anything we say will be met with more?

Loretta

Staciep88 wrote: »

Yes I can see why others want to help, and like I said, I am glad that I posted this, and I am so gratful for all the advice as i have already started to be stronger and not put up with it so much. I added a comment on that girls post as I can see that she will be my position in 6 months time if she doesnt leave now. If he continues to hit and bully me at his parents I will not stand for it - I will scream the house down until some1 comes up and see's what he is doing - then I will leave. thanks again x

It is not 'if' he continues this behaviour at his parents HE WILL

calculatethis

Please just be careful.

I know from experience how these things can simmer under the surface....I dont mean to depress you but he will NOT be able to hold out until Christmas without saying or doing something that will upset you..are you expecting him to go back to being lovey dovey and romantic and keep it up for 2 months!! (sorry no double entendre intended)

why can't you spend Christmas with your folks? They are the ones you should be celebrating your birthday with.

Loretta

Staciep88 wrote: »

I would like to think that this behaviour will not happen in his parents house as once before when his father thought OH had hit me, he went mad at OH. Also, I have told OH sister who I'm very close to what is going on - everything - the names, the hitting - everything. She tells me to leave him all the time so I know that if she suspects anything when we live there I will have her there to help me. I can see what you're saying about he must have learned this behaviour from somewhere - I do not beleive it to be his father....his half brother maybe? but he lives 400 miles away. I will have to look into that

Who cares why he does it, he does it and always will because you are still with himso he thinks it's OK