A not so happy relationship

Staciep88

Hi everyone.

Sorry I just rushed off Saturday, OH turned up and I obviously didnt want him to catch me out on the forum. We have had an OK weekend together - still argued abit though. No hitting. I feel abit stronger after reading back over the comments.

I picked up my old phone last night and read back over the text messages that he had sent me, I was shocked when I read them and could hardly beleive it. Every message was cute - calling me all the names 'baby, sexy etc etc' I showed him and asked him where the sender of these messages had gone - I showed him the old photos on the phone of the pair of us, he looked down and was quiet for the rest of the evening - hopefully that will give him something to think about!

hocuspocus22

hi staciep, i'm new to all this but i had to write as this is a subject very close to my heart.

you sound as though you have spent the weekend together and it was ok so you think that things will carry on to be ok? i can only echo what all the others have told you with such good advice.

i have been in a very similar situation before i had to learn the hard way - we really dont want that to happen to you aswell sweetie.

your family will be behind you 100% just as mine were when i needed them, you said your family are well off anyway so they wont care about the money and you said even your sister said that you werent stupid you were just doing what you thought was the right thing. if they are well off anyway have you consideder that your OH may have had a alterior motive all along?

please tell your family and get out as soon as you can x x x

Staciep88

hocuspocus22 wrote: »

hi staciep, i'm new to all this but i had to write as this is a subject very close to my heart.

you sound as though you have spent the weekend together and it was ok so you think that things will carry on to be ok? i can only echo what all the others have told you with such good advice.

i have been in a very similar situation before i had to learn the hard way - we really dont want that to happen to you aswell sweetie.

your family will be behind you 100% just as mine were when i needed them, you said your family are well off anyway so they wont care about the money and you said even your sister said that you werent stupid you were just doing what you thought was the right thing. if they are well off anyway have you consideder that your OH may have had a alterior motive all along?

please tell your family and get out as soon as you can x x x

I did think this yes but he also knows how tight I am with money and that I dont spend it on him! I know that I gotta go, theres just summit in me that keeps finding excuses to stay. Saying that, he sent me a s*itty message earlier because I walked off when he was moaning about my family...

Uniscots97

Stacie, have you decided what you're going to do?

Stephb1986_2

Who does he think he is treating you like this?? He isn't god kick him into shape girl or kick him out! give yourself a time limit on how long your going to give him to change if he doesnt change then kick him to the kerb. I'd be ringing the credit card companies and telling them that your leaving your husband and get the debt put back into his name. Your worth more than this hun and you know it. Why the hell should you take this??? You say you really love him, the truth is does he really love you if he treats you this way? Yeah you might of had an ok weekend but does that make up for all the bad ones you've had?

I hope you make the right decision and get rid of him asap.

Good luck

Steph xx

Staciep88

I have talked it over with my mum and she has said that she thinks it will be easier for me to try and leave once we are at his as then he will have all his family around so nothing nasty can be done or said. However she doesnt know about the hitting.

As I just said in my other post he was getting a little funny about me and my family earlier so I told him to go f*** his self and i walked off, he clearly didnt like that as he text me saying ' dont you ever speak to me like that blah blah blah' and I text him back after about an hour saying, well dont speak to me like that! I havent heard anything back yet. Anyway, my point of saying that was... last week if that had happened i would have stood there and took that, but im actually standing up to it now. and thats you lot that i have to thank for that.

Im going to be honest, Im not prepared to walk out on it right now, Im going to wait until we are at his and then see what happens.

I can def notice that im getting stronger about this though xx

hocuspocus22

i think i kinda have to agree with toots, you really need to be willing to take the advice that we are all giving you. i know how hard that can be but you need to grab the bull by the horns as it were, its never going to get anybetter else honey - we are only putting your best interests at heart and you need to do the same. Then give yourself a big pat on the back when its over - or your family will do it for you!:T XXX

Emmzi

there is never, ever a 'good time' or a 'better time' to leave.

there is 'now', or there is 'too late, when we've hurt each other more.'

why, why, why draw out the agony? mum will clearly welcome you home, everything else is detail.

love_lifer

or talk to some real people in real time for advice/support.

the internet is no substitute when it comes to emotional support. this could go on forever

*Paris*

Hi Stacie,

I have to say no-one deserves to be punched, kicked or even slapped. If you love someone, you do not try to destroy them!

I can understand what you say about the money, but if you did move in with your parents and you work, you could pay this money off pretty quickly.

You cannot put a price on your self esteem. I think the longer you are with this person, the lower your self esteem will become.

My mum was in an abusive relationship from her mid teens to early twenties, and she lost her first child because of it. Please do not let this happen to you!

Just because you have good memories of your relationship in the early days, it doesn't mean that you can easily return to this. I think what your partner has done to you will always be in your mind whenever you have an argument in the future.

It's very hard to leave someone if you live with them, dealing with the financial side of it, thinking 'can I cope alone?', worrying about what people think, and what your partners reaction would be...

If you are worried about his reaction to you leaving, you could maybe take a day off work and take a friend or relative with you to pack your things whilst he is not at home.

I hope things turn out ok, please let us know how you are getting on.

xx