Trying for a baby (12+ M/not straightforward)

toniq

Im so upset, it beggars belief, im so angry at guys hospital and oh,
ok, i've been waiting for hysterscopy op date, and pre op check date, we go away in 4 weeks so obviously im getting a bit frantic, i was assured by consultant it would be mid july so i can recover before my holiday, and now after oh called to tell me he is on way home form work, i casually asked *what did hosp say about the appt?* he ruddy forgot, typical, he promised he would deal with it as i get stressed, so i slam phone down and ring hopsital, the acu is closed, so i ring appts, im not on their system for any op?!?!?!? great ruddy great, so the chance of having frostie transfer in august is remote.
i hate it, i hate the bloody lot of it, im sick of sitting here in tears praying for a miracle that just aint ever happening, im ripping myself apart over this.
god im so angry.

MadMac_2

Oh Toniq, darling, hang in there. You have every right to be angry, but try not to beat OH up too much about it, he might find it just as stressful as you to ring and if anything like my OH is good at burying his head in the sand at these moments, x

I'm guessing that Guys could rush through the surgery date anyway, so I will hope and pray for you that you get a better response when you ring them tomorrow.

If you were next door I would rush around and give you a huge hug, but for now this will have to do :grouphug:

Sending you lots of love, x

ginvzt

toniq wrote: »

Im so upset, it beggars belief, im so angry at guys hospital and oh,
ok, i've been waiting for hysterscopy op date, and pre op check date, we go away in 4 weeks so obviously im getting a bit frantic, i was assured by consultant it would be mid july so i can recover before my holiday, and now after oh called to tell me he is on way home form work, i casually asked *what did hosp say about the appt?* he ruddy forgot, typical, he promised he would deal with it as i get stressed, so i slam phone down and ring hopsital, the acu is closed, so i ring appts, im not on their system for any op?!?!?!? great ruddy great, so the chance of having frostie transfer in august is remote.
i hate it, i hate the bloody lot of it, im sick of sitting here in tears praying for a miracle that just aint ever happening, im ripping myself apart over this.
god im so angry.

toniq, don't loose the hope - call them tomorrow morning and ask again. Remind you were promised it by mid July, and you expect them to fulfill their promises.

My consultant took a while to come back with my laparoscopy date, and I was upset initially that I can't be 'sorted' before I go away, so we could ttc on holiday, but now I am glad it is after my holiday (what if something goes wrong and I would be off for a bit longer than 1-2 weeks?). Now, I am having holiday, 2 weeks (nearly) work, then recovery (hope for whole 2 weeks off work), then another 2 weeks of work, and then holiday again! I think it even works out better this way now

liloandstitch

Toniq, huge huge hugs. Dont lose your hope, it WILL be sorted. unfortunately OHs get things wrong sometimes, but I am sure that it doesnt mean that hes any less commited than u. He is probably devastated that he has not done it too. Ring tomorrow and see what you can sort out - they can at times be quite flexible, usually the consultants secretary's are the best people to speak to - they can move mountains when you mobilise them. The appointments people just do as they are told, and I suspect if they dont know about you you will need the secretary anyway. Try not to go in all guns blazing if you can, but get them onside, definately play the sympathy card, tears help!! I wish you all the best luck in sorting it out, even though it doesnt look like it now, it may all fall into place as planned, and then you will have wasted tonight being annoyed!!

PS what about little miracles?

Lilo

Nicki

liloandstitch wrote: »

we will have to come up with a name for the babies born from this thread - any ideas - ?

The wonderbas? Because of all the support we get here?

(40 and 27 weeks now, after a loooong time on here! Bubs should just squeak in before my 41st birthday...)

becs

Oh Toniq, I am so so sorry! Flipping NHS! Why do they have to make everything so stressful, why is it so difficult for them to get it right! :grouphug:

ginvzt

Nicki wrote: »

The wonderbas? Because of all the support we get here?

(40 and 27 weeks now, after a loooong time on here! Bubs should just squeak in before my 41st birthday...)

Sorry, can't fit in any wonderba - however pretty they look!!!!

toniq

Thanks for listening to me rant xxx Im talking to paul, Just.........
I will call consultant tomorrow and see what has happned, it might just be misunderstanding i hope, im just like us all desperate, and i hate being told, if i stop trying it will happen! it wont, and i hate crying lil babies in tescos as i feel so inadequate and had to leave my milk behind x

Ill be better tomorrow, its the heat probably xx thanks for listening xx

FairyElephant_2

Hello Everyone!

Madmac - I was 39 on June 23rd Hun, and DH is 48! - This is our 3rd IVF, and our 3rd 'positive' result (we just need the embies to get to the right place and hold on in there now!) so don't give up hope because of your age Hun. At the support group at our clinic there are loads of ladies of similar age (and older), as well as on here, so you are def. not alone!

Shelly & Ginvzt - I know what you mean about wanting this for your family too, and the timing not working out. When I was younger (and naieve!) I was sure I would have baby #1 by age 30 and #2 two years later! Well, didn't start trying in earnest until I was 33 (long long long story!) and with (now) DH. Just after this my dad was diagnosed with onset of dementia. All the time I kept thinking 'it has to happen soon - he will be such a wonderful granddad'. Sadly, just over 5 years later, he is now quite bad Alzheimers and does not really understand what is happening most of the time. The most I can hope for now is that I can have a successful PG and if I catch him on a good day he will recognise me and realise that he has a grandchild. It is so sad. But I do know that this will mean the world to my mum, who struggles every day to take care of dad and has been brought very low and depressed by his illness.
We lost DH's dad 4 years ago too.

Dizzi - welcome and please feel free to vent your stresses here! I underatnd the 'hate list' - been there too Hun! I've crossed the street and walked out of supermarkets to avoid PG women, and had to avoid friends & aquaintances who are PG or with small children. My counsellor says this is normal and calls it a 'survival mechanism'!

Toniq Hun - I'm so sorry things are so Cra*py at the moment. I'm with Lilo - turn the tears on them, try not to get angry, but don't take 'no' for an answer! Sometimes when I read all these NHS nightmares I am almost glad we didn't qualify for any help from them - it's cost an absolute fortune, but at least when you are private you are little more in control!

Lilo - as always you are the voice of reason, compassion & inspiration Hun!

AFM - well I'm hanging on in there! This 2WW seems so much worse than the other one! I'm not doing anything much apart from going to work, then coming home & lazing on the sofa. There's so much I want to get done, but I'm not taking any chances that I do something to cause another M/C. Also I'm worrying myself stupid about another ectopic - apparantly if you have had one, then you are 10-15% likely to have another (why did I have to read that statistic?!?!?!?), and the stabbing pains I keep getting are scaring me, but I am trying to stay calm as possible (and knicker-checking like mad of course!).

13 days to go until the scan.........If we can just get that far and it is all OK, then we can really start to believe/hope/plan.

(((HUGS))) to everyone - have a great weekend,

FE -x-

OOH - and Nottlass - wondered where you had got to Hun!?! Looked for you on the PG thread (not joined it yet) but it is SOOO long and busy I couldn't keep up! What do think of the idea of having a PG thread for us 'fertility-challenged' ladies? I don't want to tempt fate by starting one yet, but Somnium & a couple others seem keen? Hope all is well with you anyhow Hun!

nottslass_2

FairyElephant wrote: »

Hello Everyone!

Madmac - I was 39 on June 23rd Hun, and DH is 48! - This is our 3rd IVF, and our 3rd 'positive' result (we just need the embies to get to the right place and hold on in there now!) so don't give up hope because of your age Hun. At the support group at our clinic there are loads of ladies of similar age (and older), as well as on here, so you are def. not alone!

Shelly & Ginvzt - I know what you mean about wanting this for your family too, and the timing not working out. When I was younger (and naieve!) I was sure I would have baby #1 by age 30 and #2 two years later! Well, didn't start trying in earnest until I was 33 (long long long story!) and with (now) DH. Just after this my dad was diagnosed with onset of dementia. All the time I kept thinking 'it has to happen soon - he will be such a wonderful granddad'. Sadly, just over 5 years later, he is now quite bad Alzheimers and does not really understand what is happening most of the time. The most I can hope for now is that I can have a successful PG and if I catch him on a good day he will recognise me and realise that he has a grandchild. It is so sad. But I do know that this will mean the world to my mum, who struggles every day to take care of dad and has been brought very low and depressed by his illness.
We lost DH's dad 4 years ago too.

Dizzi - welcome and please feel free to vent your stresses here! I underatnd the 'hate list' - been there too Hun! I've crossed the street and walked out of supermarkets to avoid PG women, and had to avoid friends & aquaintances who are PG or with small children. My counsellor says this is normal and calls it a 'survival mechanism'!

Toniq Hun - I'm so sorry things are so Cra*py at the moment. I'm with Lilo - turn the tears on them, try not to get angry, but don't take 'no' for an answer! Sometimes when I read all these NHS nightmares I am almost glad we didn't qualify for any help from them - it's cost an absolute fortune, but at least when you are private you are little more in control!

Lilo - as always you are the voice of reason, compassion & inspiration Hun!

AFM - well I'm hanging on in there! This 2WW seems so much worse than the other one! I'm not doing anything much apart from going to work, then coming home & lazing on the sofa. There's so much I want to get done, but I'm not taking any chances that I do something to cause another M/C. Also I'm worrying myself stupid about another ectopic - apparantly if you have had one, then you are 10-15% likely to have another (why did I have to read that statistic?!?!?!?), and the stabbing pains I keep getting are scaring me, but I am trying to stay calm as possible (and knicker-checking like mad of course!).

13 days to go until the scan.........If we can just get that far and it is all OK, then we can really start to believe/hope/plan.

(((HUGS))) to everyone - have a great weekend,

FE -x-

OOH - and Nottlass - wondered where you had got to Hun!?! Looked for you on the PG thread (not joined it yet) but it is SOOO long and busy I couldn't keep up! What do think of the idea of having a PG thread for us 'fertility-challenged' ladies? I don't want to tempt fate by starting one yet, but Somnium & a couple others seem keen? Hope all is well with you anyhow Hun![/QUOTE]

That sounds like a great idea - I found the pregnancy thread a little fast too !!!!

I found the wait untill the first scan worse than the 2ww -I had to keep away from the internet in the end, as I spent more time googleing statistics than doing anything else - mind you even after 2 scans I'm still frantically knicker checking and analizing(sp) every ache and pain,if it helps,I'm still getting stabbing pains,but I suppose its only to be expected to be "over sensitive" to every little twinge.

Take care
nottslass x