Trying for a baby (12+ M/not straightforward)

Natalie6999

Nikabella

I've got everything crossed for you, if you want to talk I'll be dipping in & out for most of the day.

N xx

Nikabella

I've just got back from seeing the doctor who finally agreed to refer me. He rand EPAU who said they couldn't fit me in until Saturday! He said if he was worried about my physical health he could get me an earlier appointment but that he didn't think I would get an infection. I'm more worried about my mental health! We told him we could get in privately at Leeds Screening Centre tomorrow at 8.20am so just to forget it. Maybe I'm being unrealistic but I think that it's horrendous that they can leave you bleeding for up to 6 days before you get your scan, I know that if it's a mc they can't 'do' anything but I would have gone out of my mind with what if's by then.

At least if it's bad news tomorrow morning then I'm hoping I can pull myself together over the next couple of days & still have an enjoyable bank holiday weekend with my OH & DD. Having a scan in the middle of the BH weekend would just have made the whole thing a mess.

My OH is staying optimistic as I've not had any real pain or cramping & the bleeding isn't gushing (TMI sorry) like my period would be so he thinks everything will be ok. Personally I don't want to think like that as if it's bad news that will make it even more painful to hear.

I will come back & let you know how it goes. Thank you again.

A.x

ginvzt

Keep optimistic, Nickabella - I really hope all goes well for you.
I am actually rather upset about GPs behaving like this. A bit compassion goes a long way and calms you as well, therefore it is better for your health. I find it deeply upsetting, that they will just leave you bleeding until Saturday!!!!!!!! Yes, they can't help, but if things are going wrong, it can go really wrong.

We have moved recently and we are trying to find a new GP. There are 3 surgeries close to us. 2 of them said they don't accept new patients, even though NHS website says they do, and the third one was closed by the time we arrived. But, I don't want to go to the third one, even if they do accept new patients!!! The area it is in scares me (maybe just impression, but it seemed really rough to me), and the surgery had heavy metal doors and alarm system, and was in end-terrace house sort of place. I would be worried if I will find my car after the appointment, whenever I had to go there! I really like my current GP, but they don't serve the new area we moved to...

Nikabella

Thanks ginvzt, I'll try.

We had that problem when moving house 3 years ago, our old doctors were good & this new surgery are ok at best. The doctor I saw today is the best one there in our opinion too, doesn't say much for the rest of them! You don't want a surgery in a dodgy area do you, when you're feeling ill the last thing you want to have to worry about is if your car will be in one piece when you get back!

A.x

lizziebell*80

Nikabella wrote: »

Lizziebell, I tried speaking to the EPAU already & they just said they can't do anything without a referal. They didn't seem very helpful, although I expect they are restricted by their procedures.

I think someone should remind them of the reason they are actually there!

I think they must have different procedures in different health authorities as I can't fault the one in Worcester, although possibly I was allowed to self-refer as I had been there with a previous miscarriage?

Good luck tomorrow, hopefully it will be ok and at least you won't need to wait longer than necessary for an answer as at 8 weeks they should be able to see a lot.

grace1990

To all those who think they have a right to judge me, I never said we were in the final stages of adopting a child, I said we were waiting for approval, and that a previous adoption had fallen through at the last moment. That is the reason my SIL has offered to be our surrogate, it was not something that we had previously thought about, but now it seems like the perfect answer. That is the reason I posted here, I wanted to hopefully find others who have experience of surrogacy.

shelly

Nikabella wrote: »

I've just got back from seeing the doctor who finally agreed to refer me. He rand EPAU who said they couldn't fit me in until Saturday! He said if he was worried about my physical health he could get me an earlier appointment but that he didn't think I would get an infection. I'm more worried about my mental health! We told him we could get in privately at Leeds Screening Centre tomorrow at 8.20am so just to forget it. Maybe I'm being unrealistic but I think that it's horrendous that they can leave you bleeding for up to 6 days before you get your scan, I know that if it's a mc they can't 'do' anything but I would have gone out of my mind with what if's by then.

At least if it's bad news tomorrow morning then I'm hoping I can pull myself together over the next couple of days & still have an enjoyable bank holiday weekend with my OH & DD. Having a scan in the middle of the BH weekend would just have made the whole thing a mess.

My OH is staying optimistic as I've not had any real pain or cramping & the bleeding isn't gushing (TMI sorry) like my period would be so he thinks everything will be ok. Personally I don't want to think like that as if it's bad news that will make it even more painful to hear.

I will come back & let you know how it goes. Thank you again.

A.x

Hi.

When I called my GP with DBS at 6 weeks with 2nd pg he said to go to A&E. They scanned me once there and told me what I knew had happened.
Have you tried going to A&E at all? I'd try there first to get a free scan rather than pay out in the morning but that's just me

Its a cruel twist of nature that not every mc has pain and/or bleeding. I had only DBS with both of my mc's and absolutely no pain at all.


Best wishes

Nicki

grace1990 wrote: »

To all those who think they have a right to judge me, I never said we were in the final stages of adopting a child, I said we were waiting for approval, and that a previous adoption had fallen through at the last moment. That is the reason my SIL has offered to be our surrogate, it was not something that we had previously thought about, but now it seems like the perfect answer. That is the reason I posted here, I wanted to hopefully find others who have experience of surrogacy.

Hi grace

I'm sorry if you felt judged and if you are here for genuine reasons, then welcome.

I have no personal experience of surrogacy, but there was a woman at my mother and toddler group when my DD was little, who had cancer as a child, and had had a hysterectomy when she was a very young teenager. She had a child using her eggs and her husband's sperm, which her mum carried and gave birth to. The little one was absolutely beautiful, and mum and baby bonded extremely well. The relationship between mum and granny, and between granny and baby was also inevitably much closer, and in fact they were contemplating having another child this way when I last saw them.

I'm not sure what your circumstances are, and whether it would be an option to use your eggs or not. There are several advisory services in the UK though for surrogacy, including some forums, so if you haven't already done so, I'd google for them and exchange views with others there. The best known one is COTS I think, but there are others.

Bunnie1982

Have been back to the hospital again today, even though our follow up appointment wasn't meant to be until 11th May. My fertility nurse phoned me up basically just for a chat following our consultation on 30th and I raised the subject of clomid with her, she spoke to the consultant and they agreed to give me it for 6 months.

When we went in to pick the prescription up we had a few questions so went in an office with her, she got one of the consultants in and he was brilliant and explained our test results much better to us. I do have polycystic ovaries, however it is not affecting me in any way (ovulating normally etc.) they are just there.

As for DH his SA is not as bad as what the other consultant made out. The concentration should be 20million and my DH's was 18mil and 18.5mil, they were slightly more abnormal than they should be and they didn't do so well on the swim up test however the mobility of them was higher 33% (when average is 25%)

The consultant we saw today said there is a high likelihood we could conceive naturally and even higher with the clomid as I'm giving the little swimmers more chance to find an egg. So if 6 months time if nothing happens we will be in a better position to decide whether to go for IVF or not.

As we are also doing down the vitamins route they said they would be happy to check DHs SA again in 3 months time to see if anything has improved.

Come away today feeling so much more positive

Nikabella

This afternoon the bleeding has started to get heavier & I've had some slight cramps. I've told OH I think that the scan tomorrow will be a waste of £70 & the sonographers time & that we should just accept it's over. Part of me still wants to go but thats the part that still wants to hold on to a glimmer of hope & to be honest I don't think there can be any hope. It just seems really silly & wasteful to go now. I don't know what to do.

A.x