Trying for a baby (12+ M/not straightforward)

Somnium

Thanks Lilo and notlass. As for acctual size Ive gone from a tight fitting 18 to a comfortable 16 so am still classed as overweight BMI wise but still am within the range for IVF. I know realistically I wont get smalller than 14 so am no expecting miracles. I'm tall'ish at 5'8 and have boobs and hips so I would look odd much smaller. Am actualy reall suprised that my boobs haven't shrunk with the weight loss, but am not complaining, dread to think what size they'll get to when my milk comes in eek! Am hoping to maintain my wweight thru pregnancy, but you know what they say about best laid plans hehe. Anyhoo All going to plan am due to start tablets on 25th this month and 16th May sniffing starts, am gonna be taking sprecur has anyone had that?

AnnieM_3

Hi,

My HCG had gone down to 6, so at last I have the answer. Not the answer I really wanted, but I think 'Sorry, we made a mistake, you're still pg' would have been little short of miraculous They said they now don't need to see me for a repeat scan, as my levels have dropped so far. At least now I can properly grieve and get my head together again.

I can't believe how insensitively you have been dealt with, Nikabella - suggesting taking an HPT???!!! I'm disgusted, to be honest. Did they offer any support or counselling? I can't believe they can treat people so badly. Maybe you could go back to your GP and talk things through - if you're worried about anything being left inside you might be able to get some answers about that, and you can discuss your grieving process.

The booklet I was given (which was produced by my local NHS Trust) says: There has to be a time for mourning for you to grieve in your own way and in your own time. Cry if you need to. Talk when you feel the need. Seek help if it does not get better.

The doctor might suggest signing you off work for a bit - to recover emotionally and physically (which is what they did with me), which seems like an unusually holistic approach from the NHS, but a good one nonetheless, or you might feel you want to get back to work as soon as possible to get back to normal. I say go with whatever feels right to you.

Good luck with the downregging, Nottslass and Somnium!

AnnieM x

liloandstitch

Hugs AnnieM xxx

Lilo

Floxxie

Hello,

I hope that nobody takes offence to my posting (I am not trying to get pregnant but have had 8 pregnancies and suffered 5 miscarriages - one in the second trimester). I'm really sorry to hear of the losses on this thread and thought I could offer some info on the various points made from my experience.

There is no need to go to A&E for an early miscarriage unless you have symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy. There is nothing that can be done to save the pregnancy and waiting in a crowded hospital is not the best place for you to suffer. You can keep anything that comes out and ask the EPAU to check to see if everything has come away.

Pregnancy hormones can stay in the body for longer than two weeks so being told to take a pregnancy test a couple of weeks after will not tell you if you still have products of conception remaining in your uterus. One of my early miscarriages continued to show a positive test result until 14 weeks after. If it is still postive it is likely that the EPAU will want to scan to just check that there is nothing left inside. (I will say that this is awful as you are confronted with an empty womb and on one of mine a dip where the baby had been, could be seen).

It is a terrible thing to go through because it is dealt with very medically although for me I found this easier to deal with. There are sites which will give support e.g. the miscarriage association, babyloss and ivillage. It is completely natural to feel angry at the apparent lack of support given but to the medical professional it is just another pregnancy failure. I was told over the phone that I had lost a girl (I only have boys) whilst I was at work (I was an EA at the time and burst into tears in front of a busy front office).

I really wish you all well in existing and future pregancies. It makes me really sad to think that I won't have another pregnancy but them I don't think I could go through all the ups and downs again. My hair is grey enough!

Anyway, I hope I haven't offended anybody.

The most important thing for everyone is to keep their mental and physical health good so if things are getting on top of you please see your doctor and take some time out for yourself.

Lots of babydust to you all for now and the future.

Floxxie

shelly

Floxxie wrote: »

There is no need to go to A&E for an early miscarriage unless you have symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy. There is nothing that can be done to save the pregnancy and waiting in a crowded hospital is not the best place for you to suffer. You can keep anything that comes out and ask the EPAU to check to see if everything has come away.

Gahhhhh just typed out a reply and it went all bonkers!!

Anyway, just wanted to say I don't fully agree with the above.

Long story short.....not every woman has typical heavy bleeding and pain during a miscarriage.
I certainly don't and going to A&E is the only way I know what's going on.

Also if a woman does bleed early on it might be nothing to worry about and if a trip to A&E puts a mind at rest it's worth it in my book.

Floxxie

Shelly,

I've never had the typical symptoms of miscarriage either but my point was going to A&E won't save a failing early pregnancy. In addition the experts are in the EPAUs. The literature and advice given by my EPAU was as I wrote above.

Floxxie

shelly

Floxxie wrote: »

Shelly,

I've never had the typical symptoms of miscarriage either but my point was going to A&E won't save a failing early pregnancy. In addition the experts are in the EPAUs. The literature and advice given by my EPAU was as I wrote above.

Floxxie

I know going to A&E won't save a pg, nothing can. My point was that it can't hurt to go and for many women its the only way to get answers.
At my local hospital the only way to get seen by the EPAU is to get referred by GP or go to A&E. A scan done in A&E is by an EPAU nurse.


I think we will have to agree to disagree on this one

nottslass_2

shelly wrote: »

I know going to A&E won't save a pg, nothing can. My point was that it can't hurt to go and for many women its the only way to get answers.
At my local hospital the only way to get seen by the EPAU is to get referred by GP or go to A&E. A scan done in A&E is by an EPAU nurse.


I think we will have to agree to disagree on this one

HI shelly and Floxxie,

Having very fortunately never suffered a M/C I can't speak from personal experience,but both your posts(and the other recent ones by nikabella & AnnieM) do highlight that the experiences/needs of women going through this tragedy differ greatly, from not only from the individual but from Hospital to Hospital,and the least anybody should expect,from health professionals, is to be treated not only with compassion and dignity,but as an individual.


Baby Dust to us all

nottslass X

AnnieM_3

When your GP surgery is closed, it's your first pregnancy (after 14 months of trying) and you suddenly see brown lumps mixed in your cm, you're scared and confused, what else would you suggest doing, Floxxie? NHS direct would have advised me to go to the hospital, and the emergency doctor may have done the same. I didn't know if I even was having a miscarriage, but it turned out the spotting symptoms I experienced did match up with possible ectopic pregnancy, as I found out WHEN I WENT TO A&E!

I would not have known my HCG level was not rising correctly by doing more HPTs, which indicated a possible ectopic, and had the level been much higher, the spotting could have indicated a possible molar pregnancy! The doctors there consulted the EGU, who took me on as a referral, rather than just sending me home, and I was monitored as a quasi in-patient, managing my mc at home naturally, while they tried to determine for sure that my pregnancy was not ectopic.

As for support, once I got my diagnosis the hospital were fantastic (it was just before that the doctors had been useless). A nurse sat with me and talked through everything I might need to know, and I was given information on support networks, They also told me I could go back to EGU if I needed to talk, just to ring ahead so they knew I was going in.

I don't think anyone should be advising women here not to go to A&E who are experiencing problems in early pregnancy. Not every early mc is straightforward. Obviously an early pregnancy that is failing can't be saved, but a woman's tubes could be saved, or ultimately her life in some cases.

Sorry if my post sounds confrontational - it's all still very raw, and I feel very strongly that I did absolutely the right thing for me in my situation with my symptoms. Had I been able to go to my GP I probably would have done so, but I couldn't. I certainly wasn't going to do nothing!

AnnieM

liloandstitch

Hi all, oooo it is all getting fun!!!! I have to add my 2 pennorth and agree with the A nd E Route. I know that they cant save a pregnancy, but you know what is going on. I was seen and examined by gynae doctors, and scanned to tell me that the bean was dead. Without this I had no closure. I was on complete bed rest, ordered by the hospital, as not all bleeding means a mc - mine was q heavy, but without the scan, everything from examination was quite normal. By finding out that the bean had died at 5 weeks, when I was 9 weeks pregnant, meant that I knew that I couldnt do anything to change it - the bean had to come out - I wasnt trying to hang on to it IYSWIM. They were absolutely fantastic, and I had a counselling chat with one of the nurses who explained about natural mcs and hospital ones, I was offered inpatient if I wanted it - and to stay for the natural, and I have been given contact information for if I get pregnant again and can have the reassurance of an early scan. Obviously this has all been superceded by events as I will be a HR preg next time anyway!!!

I really cant fault the hosps in kent in this - reading all the other experiences, it would seem that they have got it about right. I cant say about the GP experiences because I have always gone straight to AandE. I do know that the midwifes are not interested at all. They are really medical and matter of fact.

HTH, and that you are all okay this morning. Lilo