Trying for a baby (12+ M/not straightforward)

nottslass_2

Hi ladies,I need an honest opinion !!!!

I turned 41 last week (how did that happen ) Anyway my question is, when should I give up TTC ?

As the regulars know,I has a failed attempt at IVF last month,although at our review the Doc did say that it was down to "just bad luck" and would recommend a 2nd attempt - perhaps it would have been easier if they had have said it wouldn't be worth it !!

we're obviously self funding our treatment,and could (just about ) afford another treatment,but do you think that we're "chasing an impossible dream" and the time has come for me to accept that my biological clock is well and truly Kn*cker*d !!!!

Me and the OH(38) realise that we're very lucky to have DS (6)but would still dearly love to have another,should we just count our blessings and accept that "it wasn't to be" or do you think that I may have a couple more years left in me,before I'm well and truly passed it.lol.?

gymfiend

Hi Nottslass - my mum had my baby sis naturally at 43, out of the blue & she is a happy healthy 9 year old now, and absolutely gorgeous So it can happen, don't give up hope, xx

gymfiend

shelly wrote: »

No you're not old fashioned.....I call it traditional. I was exactly the same.

I had to wait until our 10 year being together anniversary for him to ask me :eek: To be honest though I probably didn't help myself by keep telling him that if we didn't ever get married I would have stayed with him regardless.
Though like you, I wanted to be married before having a family.

He said he always knew he wanted to marry me but was lazy about getting it sorted. Then his Mum died in Jan 2000 and he realised just how short life was so asked me in Feb 2000.
That was a sunday night.....by the monday morning the church and reception hall was booked :rotfl:

We married 15 months later but it wasn't until 5 years ago we started TTC.

I've gone the other way - warned him that if we're not married soon I might well up and leave :rotfl: Unlikely but hey, the frightener might be enough to get him up the aisle!!! xx

shelly

nottslass wrote: »

Hi ladies,I need an honest opinion !!!!

I turned 41 last week (how did that happen ) Anyway my question is, when should I give up TTC ?

I think only you and OH can decide when enough is enough.

Personally I think I'd keep going until either the money ran out or when a doctor told us our eggs/sperm were no longer good enough.

bluemeanie999

Hi all

Ive just been reading the threads hoping someone might be in a similar situation to me but upto now not read anything

I have already got 2 Daughters with my ex, but since getting together with my DB we have been TTC (14 months now)

Thing is - 2 and half years ago I had a MC and since then I've only had 4 AF - my last one was last september. I am waiting to see my local RE in April, but I've just been reading about Asherman's Syndrome and I was wondering if anybody else has been diagnosed this or know anything more about it. Hope someone can give me some postitivity coz sometimes I feel like banging me head against a brick wall

Thank you and good luck all xxx

homeaway

gymfiend wrote: »

The first day I charted was CD 6 - I'm on 11 now, and for the last 3 days I've had 35.7, 35.8 and 35.7 again today - so wondering if the odd temps were caused by tonsillitis & flu-ey ness I had at the start? Fingers crossed! I was trying to take them in my mouth but I was so stuffy I was breathing through my mouth so I was sure it was messing things up! So, I've got a new thermometer and am taking it from my armpit [nice huh!] & hoping & praying that I will O this month

How is everyone today? Good I hope...any news from PeachyJem? Hope you are ok Myaccount - can't believe how horrible the hospitals are Fingers are tightly crossed for you,xx

ginvzt hope everything goes well today & they get all the blood they need from you!! & hope you're not waiting too long

On a comlpete tangent, has anyone else found themselves wanting to get married before having a baby but having a non-compliant OH? See I would really like to get married before we have a baby [though if baby arrived any time soon I would be absolutely over the moon] and have been telling OH this for the last 12-18 months or so, but he doesn't seem to care and says we will 'one day' - really beginning to wind me up because I really feel like if he wants to make a baby with me he should really want to marry me!! Anyone else experienced this? How can I coax him?! Or am I just far too old fashioned in wanting to get married first

To end on a happy note...it's FRIDAY woo hoo weekend BDing time! Have a good one everyone xx

Hi, Are you sure you have not ovulated already? If not it sounds as though your flu has affected them. I would just keep charting and see what happens you will see a pattern emerge.

I am an old fashioned girl, i wanted to be married before i had kids, luckily for me so did my hubby. You have to do what is right for you . Take care.

Nicki

nottslass wrote: »

Hi ladies,I need an honest opinion !!!!

I turned 41 last week (how did that happen ) Anyway my question is, when should I give up TTC ?

As the regulars know,I has a failed attempt at IVF last month,although at our review the Doc did say that it was down to "just bad luck" and would recommend a 2nd attempt - perhaps it would have been easier if they had have said it wouldn't be worth it !!

we're obviously self funding our treatment,and could (just about ) afford another treatment,but do you think that we're "chasing an impossible dream" and the time has come for me to accept that my biological clock is well and truly Kn*cker*d !!!!

Me and the OH(38) realise that we're very lucky to have DS (6)but would still dearly love to have another,should we just count our blessings and accept that "it wasn't to be" or do you think that I may have a couple more years left in me,before I'm well and truly passed it.lol.?

Hi Nottslass

We had this conversation when the IUI failed and we were told that IVF was our only option. I was 40 then. Our clinic told us that we had a 35% chance of success with IVF, but a few weeks later I had a smear with my normal gynae and he told me that the chances of success for IVF at 40+ were much much lower than that. Given my previous experiences at the clinic, I felt that they were over-egging how good the chances of success were for me, as they are of course a business and are selling treatments.

We took the decision then that we would continue to try by natural means but would not let it take over the rest of our lives, and that we wouldn't put ourselves through the emotional wringer of more treatment. The finances played a part in this but not a big part.

I think as Shelly says it is a very personal decision to make, and only you can know whether you are ready to take it. Do you have confidence in the advice you are being given about the reasons why the IVF failed last time and your objective chances of success? Would it make a difference if you got a second opinion on it?

With us, and maybe with you, it helped that we already had a child of our own.

There isn't a right answer to your question, but it is worth thinking the whole thing through carefully and trying to work out what is going to make you happiest in the long term. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Nicki x

CAFCGirl

Hi all

Been a few days since I posted but been reading through....

I've worked out the cycle/ovulation timetable thing and downloaded it and filled it in with my dates, as my cycles fell back to pretty much regular after the m/c.

I havent been charting temperatures as yet, as Im pretty sure ive been ovulating. Im still really worried at the moment though about my weight being an issue.... has anyone had any experience with Dr's about this? My BMI is currently 18, so better than it has been for a while, and whats the healthiest and quickest way of building myself up to a healthier weight?

Sorry for waffling on about it, but since DH and I had another chat about the loss and trying again, and I spoke to a specialist for something else entirely, and he asked about emotional stresses I'd been under and so told him, so its all been brought back up to the surface.... the worry and concern about it happening again I mean, and I feel like I need something measurable to focus on (other than getting a BFP!), so my weight seemed to be a good place to focus....

Im still just waffling on, but short of taking pregnancy supplements, getting my weight up and doing the BD, I'm lost as to what else I can do, theres such a wealth of information available online but most of what I've found seems to presume healthy starting points (i.e physicall or emotionally)......

nottslass_2

Nicki wrote: »

Hi Nottslass

We had this conversation when the IUI failed and we were told that IVF was our only option. I was 40 then. Our clinic told us that we had a 35% chance of success with IVF, but a few weeks later I had a smear with my normal gynae and he told me that the chances of success for IVF at 40+ were much much lower than that. Given my previous experiences at the clinic, I felt that they were over-egging how good the chances of success were for me, as they are of course a business and are selling treatments.

We took the decision then that we would continue to try by natural means but would not let it take over the rest of our lives, and that we wouldn't put ourselves through the emotional wringer of more treatment. The finances played a part in this but not a big part.

I think as Shelly says it is a very personal decision to make, and only you can know whether you are ready to take it. Do you have confidence in the advice you are being given about the reasons why the IVF failed last time and your objective chances of success? Would it make a difference if you got a second opinion on it?

I think that I'll try to get a second opinion - the national average pregnancy rate is 10%,(for the over 40's)slightly higher for our clinic.
What I can't find the answer to is, because I responded well to the stimms and 9 eggs fertilized,with 2 reaching blastocyst stage,does that mean my chances were higher than the 10%,or do they still stay at 10 % ?

With us, and maybe with you, it helped that we already had a child of our own.

There isn't a right answer to your question, but it is worth thinking the whole thing through carefully and trying to work out what is going to make you happiest in the long term. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Nicki x

Wise words Nicki ,the only problem is that we keep "going round in circles" on whether or not to try again !!!

I hope everything is going OK for you,Its great that you still keep popping back to us and posting on this thread.


Nottslass X

freckles38_2

Notts lass - I post very rarely (so rarely that i forgot my log-in details!) but do lurk on this forum a lot. your question about is it time to give up strikes a big cord with me - we have a very beautiful DS who is 7 and have tried 6 ICSI attempts since. I turned 40 last week and we (I?) are thinking 'maybe just one more'. But I am not sure that I will ever think any other way. Like you we coud probaly stretch ourselves to afford it (What's another loan after all - to add to the probably 25-30K we have spent in the last 13 years). I also feel like I am going around in circles and have been very depressed about this for the last 5 months or so. Sorry i am rambling here and do not have an answer to your question! BUT shoud we do it again? As we both know the rewards are so great when it does work!! I am thinking probably yes......;)