Help me please...i feel like giving up

Mely

If an harrassment order was obtained how long would it be valid for? And is it easier after this to get an injunction?
Best wishes everyone, and i hope things work out xxxx

Diamond78

Mely wrote: »

If an harrassment order was obtained how long would it be valid for? And is it easier after this to get an injunction?
Best wishes everyone, and i hope things work out xxxx

It depeneds why the harrassment order was obtained for and who by. I have always gone to the family court with my solicitor to obtain an injunction. Basically it depends on what has happened. I have had an injunction from 6 months to a year, it all depends on the circumstances. And it usually comes with a power of arrest attached to it which means if he/she and friends of his/her or family memebrs contact you then the perpetrator(sp) would be arrested. I dont know if its changed since and im not sure how the harrassment order works. I assume its and indefinate thing coz whats the point on putting a time scale on something coz when its over they will start harrassing you again. same with the injunction but you just have to keep going back to go court. Its not as bad or hard as it sounds.Good luck x

blackeel

Diamond78 wrote: »

It depeneds why the harrassment order was obtained for and who by. I have always gone to the family court with my solicitor to obtain an injunction. Basically it depends on what has happened. I have had an injunction from 6 months to a year, it all depends on the circumstances. And it usually comes with a power of arrest attached to it which means if he/she and friends of his/her or family memebrs contact you then the perpetrator(sp) would be arrested. I dont know if its changed since and im not sure how the harrassment order works. I assume its and indefinate thing coz whats the point on putting a time scale on something coz when its over they will start harrassing you again. same with the injunction but you just have to keep going back to go court. Its not as bad or hard as it sounds.Good luck x

This is why I asked a few posts ago, for advice from someone who has gone through the injunction process....

I thanked whoever gave me the Womens Aid link, but to be honest ..thats the way it should happen, but i need to know "what actually happens".....

You see, your case was pretty straightforward....he actually beat you up, stabbed you, and other horrific things which u had documented..........I have none of this....


Yes there was the odd bit of violence, yes i have lots of nasty texts(off over a year ago)...recently all i have is my word that he threatened my life, my word he comes round and bothers me, and a few texts with a sexually harrassing undertone that the police didnt think too bad.....

Hes a charmer as ive already said, hes talked his way out of his guilt before...So what happens when i go to court for my injunction.....how can i win with all this flimsy evidence.........Dont get me wrong, I'm not giving up, but dont want to lose, and in doing so, let him think hes in the right...

Hes now moved into house in a very nearby village(quarter mile), so now sees the kids regularly(and sometimes while theyre out playing)..He dropped them off the other day, but didnt come near the house.....so to the unwise eye..he is doing the right things....

Although things have been calm, and we actually talked when he picked the kids up, and i explained that i will never have him back, and he said he accepted that now, I feel harassed again, with his now closeness to my house...as if i'm being watched all the time...and bearing in mind he still has keys, worried every time i go out.

Thanks for the continued support and advice...

Mely

Its really important for you to change the locks asap! I was thinking...what if you got someone you know to fit a new lock for you? Then It would cost about £25 for a Yale lock. And you could leave the key in the other door so he cant get in, or put a strong bolt on it? That would give you more peace of mind.

Diamond78

blackeel wrote: »

This is why I asked a few posts ago, for advice from someone who has gone through the injunction process....

I thanked whoever gave me the Womens Aid link, but to be honest ..thats the way it should happen, but i need to know "what actually happens".....

You see, your case was pretty straightforward....he actually beat you up, stabbed you, and other horrific things which u had documented..........I have none of this....


Yes there was the odd bit of violence, yes i have lots of nasty texts(off over a year ago)...recently all i have is my word that he threatened my life, my word he comes round and bothers me, and a few texts with a sexually harrassing undertone that the police didnt think too bad.....

Hes a charmer as ive already said, hes talked his way out of his guilt before...So what happens when i go to court for my injunction.....how can i win with all this flimsy evidence.........Dont get me wrong, I'm not giving up, but dont want to lose, and in doing so, let him think hes in the right...

Hes now moved into house in a very nearby village(quarter mile), so now sees the kids regularly(and sometimes while theyre out playing)..He dropped them off the other day, but didnt come near the house.....so to the unwise eye..he is doing the right things....

Although things have been calm, and we actually talked when he picked the kids up, and i explained that i will never have him back, and he said he accepted that now, I feel harassed again, with his now closeness to my house...as if i'm being watched all the time...and bearing in mind he still has keys, worried every time i go out.

Thanks for the continued support and advice...

You dont have to be hit to get an injunction. As long as you keep reporting all the stuff he does, you will have a good and strong case. I went court before he got that violent towards me, as those horrific ones were not reported coz then he would of killed me.The first time the police were involved was from a beating i got. But i dropped the charges. After that it was the harrassment and threats. I got the solicitor through victim support. You should look on google and contact victim support. Sometimes they can find people to assist you ie like going to court for support ect. Basically when you have a solicitor, you explain everything that has happened. If you have all the information ,like crime reference numbers from all the incidents you have reported with you ,which you can get from the police, then it makes things a bit easier and quicker. Also the notes from what you have written like his calls, messages, anything helps. Victim support can also put you in touch with an organisation that can change your locks. Once the solicitor has built up your case, you have to apply to the family court, which the solicitor does for you. You are then given a date and you, your solicitor go to court with your file and explain to the judge what has happened. You dont really speak, you just sit there and listen and the judge or what ever they are called gives the go ahead for an injunction. The law is tougher now and courts are good. After that, say he is given a 6 month injunction, he has to turn up at court for a hearing. His injunction will be served usually by hand by a courier. There is no getting away with it. Once the injunction is served to him, he had to obey the rules and make no contact what so ever. Obviously if he breaks it and your order has power of arrest attached to it, then his stuffed and arrested and has to go back to court. It is a known trait that violent people like our ex's can charm anyone but they dont fall for it. My ex for example has a very good and well paid job.He works in the public sector and works with the public. BUT people can see straight through these people. They will act all innocent and make out the other person has lost the plot.

blackeel

Help......try and get this typed before i get arreseted

Hes just phoned to say if i dont llet himback inthe house, he is going to get 4 young lads to say i interfered with them 2 years ago.....ive phoned police telling them about his new threat but worried they will just cart me off'..

This is a new low he has reached...the lads are either relations of his, or live nearby, and its all untrue...

My mams away , my sisters away, if the arrest me, he will have to move into look after the kids...

I am going to ask Police to take laptop with them..i'll report later if not locked up.....

Triker

The police will need evidence to arrest you, it will already be noted that you are being harrassed re the house as you have been contacting the police throughout (this is evidence to back your claims re the harrassment). This is why it is so important to log and record and report everything.

Try not to panic, he may be threatening you and not mean to go ahead, seems a particularly twisted and nasty way to intimidate you which means he has no itentions of playing nice.

Please be careful, if you need to get out with your children to a place of safety, do so, ring the police now and don't be put off reporting the harrassment.

Good luck. x

blackeel

Well, i'm still here....are the police on strike.....Hes supposed to have 4 lads willing to testify against me...Ive phoned Police telling them of his calls and texts and threats.....but no one has come out.....Ive now had a threat that my car will be burnt out by morning.(but not by him)....then only minutes later he phoned and had calmed down and wants to talk to negotiate....Police are an absolute waste of time round here...I'll wait till morning, phone my solicitor and the DVU again.....off to bed...with keys in locks...

Savvy_Sue

blackeel, the police very rarely come charging out in these situations, and even less so when there is a record of his harassment already. They will take statements first, and that can take days. Hope your car is OK by morning.

Can you not get a new phone number? Then choose very carefully who you give it to.

blackeel

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

blackeel, the police very rarely come charging out in these situations, and even less so when there is a record of his harassment already. They will take statements first, and that can take days. Hope your car is OK by morning.

Can you not get a new phone number? Then choose very carefully who you give it to.

My one year old (prevously unmarked) car has now got deep gouges acrosss the bonnet...the police are coming our later and i have to get back in touch with my solicitor after theyve been.......

Cant change phone number due to teenage daughter....would never be a secret.

I'm really pleased i reported this(the threats) as they happened to the police, and also about the threat to the car....(possiby before it happened) on the thread...

Thanks for your continued support