Help me please...i feel like giving up

blackeel

After a stormy and sometimes violent relationship, my partner(not married) moved out some 12 months ago. Hes had other girlfriends and lived with a couple of them, he does drugs, drinks heavily and has never left me alone...

We have 4 kids and jointly own the house we(me and kids)are living in, but it is up for sale(so i can move away), but theres been no interest from buyers.

He has never supported us and the DSS is paying the mortgage interest..

Last week he phoned me to say he was coming back home as his girlfriend had kicked him out..

My solicitor says he can do this as its half his house...apparently, he can also take things from the house and sell them, as they were bought while we were together...this means i could be left with nothing, and him living there.

Please help me , i am at my wits end.

I dont want to move out and lose my pending share in the house, as this is mine and the kids future.

foreign_correspondent

if he has been violent I would contact womens aid for advice asap as this may well change things.
www.womensaid.org.uk

Daft_Pegasus

I'm in no way an expert but here's what I'd do.

I'd start by changing the locks so he can't get in. I know that technically he's entitled to live there but it slows the process down a little.

Is there a record of his violent behaviour? Can you get some sort of restraining order to prevent him coming back to the house?

Most importantly in all this don't forget the kids. You do not mention their relationship with their father. If it's good then you'll have more challenges ahead. If it's bad (or his been violent to them) then you should use this to protect yourself and them.

I hope you get a solution to your situation and a quick one at that.

blackeel

Daft_Pegasus wrote: »

I'm in no way an expert but here's what I'd do.

I'd start by changing the locks so he can't get in. I know that technically he's entitled to live there but it slows the process down a little.

Is there a record of his violent behaviour? Can you get some sort of restraining order to prevent him coming back to the house?

Most importantly in all this don't forget the kids. You do not mention their relationship with their father. If it's good then you'll have more challenges ahead. If it's bad (or his been violent to them) then you should use this to protect yourself and them.

I hope you get a solution to your situation and a quick one at that.

Changing locks etc, not worth the expense unfortunately(this was all thought about 6 months ago)....solicitor said wste of time

I despise him,(but have been nice to keep things ticking on, re house sale) but he is sweet talking and obviously, kids being kids, would like us back as a family...

Womens aid etc, all just tell me to leave the house.

Almost had a restraining order on him, but it was never served...........

Janjel

Go and see your solicitor again as when i was in simular situation I was able to get an order to keep him out of house until i was re-homed - it was actually my ex's house but as he had been violent and police involved. Can not remember name of order though

blackeel

Janjel wrote: »

Go and see your solicitor again as when i was in simular situation I was able to get an order to keep him out of house until i was re-homed - it was actually my ex's house but as he had been violent and police involved. Can not remember name of order though

Understand what u r saying...but if i leave the house, he has won!!

shell_girl

If there is any record of the violence you will be able to apply for an occupation order. Very surprised that your local Women's Aid group haven't suggested this already. Google Rights of Women or National Centre for Domestic Violence and contact one of them for information on how to obtain an occupation order. Best of luck x

Janjel

Tell your solicitor that you feel you have no choice as he scares you - i still won money from ex even though i moved out as there was violence involved and i feared for my life.

blackeel

shell_girl wrote: »

If there is any record of the violence you will be able to apply for an occupation order. Very surprised that your local Women's Aid group haven't suggested this already. Google Rights of Women or National Centre for Domestic Violence and contact one of them for information on how to obtain an occupation order. Best of luck x

Police we always very reluctant to come out, or came next day(live a long way from nearest station)..Tried for various orders a year ago....but nothing came of anything...

blackeel

Janjel wrote: »

Tell your solicitor that you feel you have no choice as he scares you - i still won money from ex even though i moved out as there was violence involved and i feared for my life.

The threat of violence isnt the problem so much this time(hes mellowed a lot)...but i dont like him, dont want him near me, and this will just ruin what little life i have.....(no one else except kids involved)...but for the last months i have felt "free"

Just told solicitor this.....to no avail...

blackeel

House is half his, furniture is half his, but food, water, services etc...are all mine....can i call police if he uses these without permission(which i wont give)...I know he will steal the food for my children....and i dont want any of his money