Help me please...i feel like giving up

blackeel

Got back from my sisters about 11pm....and up till then i'd heard nothing(or so i thought)...When i got kids to bed, i realised i'd had calls to my mobile and texts while driving which i presumed were from my sister.They wernt, but they wernt from him either....but they were not nice, but not threatening, and my eldest had come to me and confessed that her dad ws planning to come home and live in shed outside and could she get electric to him.......My daughter came running down the stairs after a funny phone call and after i took her phone off her someone tried again....No one except her dad has the mobile number i got the not nice texts on, and no one but her dad has my daughters phone number...I'm talking to a friend via email(who is miles away)...so not totally alone, but scared at the moment, but dont have enough evidence to call police(who from past experience wouldnt come out anyway)....I'm going to bed now, keys fixed in door locks, but that wont stop him and his streetwise family from getting in if they want to...

Would Womens Aid help me find someone who would put door chains and a bedroom lock on my door for me....Ive been in this situation before...I dont think hes stupid enough to come round knowing the police are looking for him, but hes certainly putting the frightners on me.....

Good night and thanks for info....

Savvy_Sue

I would have thought Women's Aid could help you with that yes, and if not, ask the police if they have a 'Bobby Van'.

Although you don't think those texts etc warrantdialling 999, log them and report them on the non-emergency number or at the police station tomorrow.

foreign_correspondent

Definitely pass them on to the police tomorrow - it all helps build a clearer picture of his behaviour and helps your case.

good luck

fc x

flossy_splodge

Not knowing which area you live I can't give detailed advice but ALL Victim Support areas (and they cover the whole country) have knowledge of Domestic Violence. Don't hesitate about calling it this as DV is PRECISELY what you are experiencing. In some areas there are now specialist units, here in Warwickshire it is called the Domestic Violence Forum. Whether Victim Support or a specialist charity they WILL be able to give you ALL the help and support you need. They get involved in legal, court, financial and any other areas where you need advice. Some areas also have access to a 'man and his van' for help with things like replacing door locks. Please get your door locks replaced as a matter of urgency. Deterrents DO work. If you can't find details of your nearest Victim support centre then PM me with which area you are and I'll get the info for you. I used to be a specialist DV support worker with Victim Support and I can tell you that the training is thorough and they WILL understand your needs and your fears. Please call them. Thinking of you.:o

blackeel

Had a quiet night, all above advice taken onboard..LOcal Victim Support contacted, initially by email, and getting something ready to ask/tell police today...Thanks again for support.......but the lack of concrete evidence that last nights calls/texts had anything to do with him, makes me wonder if i will actually lose credibility with police instead of gaining it...Found there is a local "bobbyvan", so asking about this as well.

Savvy_Sue

You say no-one but your DH has those mobile numbers, but is there evidence of that? ie no calls made to other numbers etc.

I think if you speak to a DV officer rather than whoever's on the desk when you ring / call in, you'll get a better response.

blackeel

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

You say no-one but your DH has those mobile numbers, but is there evidence of that? ie no calls made to other numbers etc.

I think if you speak to a DV officer rather than whoever's on the desk when you ring / call in, you'll get a better response.

Yes...sorry, other people do have these numbers, but weve never ever had any abuse before on these(except fom him)....Ive phoned the Police, the "warning" was given to him this morning, I have also given them the phone numbers that the calls/texts came from last night, they are looking into it, so far Womens Aid and Victim Suport havent got back to me...But I'm positive and will keep posting.


Massive, huge edit....he was NEVER EVER a DH......

Savvy_Sue

blackeel wrote: »

Massive, huge edit....he was NEVER EVER a DH......

well, that saves the expense of divorcing the Stupid B ... Apologies for misrepresenting your relationship! :rotfl:

blackeel

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

well, that saves the expense of divorcing the Stupid B ... Apologies for misrepresenting your relationship! :rotfl:

Apology accepted lol....

After a very hesitant and disturbing morning,and then getting info from Police, I was depressed until 2pm ish..but picked myself up and took kids out and really enjoyed myself...the only thing was, i forgot to tell a close friend that i'd gone out, and was enjoying myself, while they worried that i was depressed and crying, as i was when i last spoke to them....i think ive got a bridge to build here..

Thanks again for all the help

Loretta

blackeel wrote: »

Got back from my sisters about 11pm....and up till then i'd heard nothing(or so i thought)...When i got kids to bed, i realised i'd had calls to my mobile and texts while driving which i presumed were from my sister.They wernt, but they wernt from him either....but they were not nice, but not threatening, and my eldest had come to me and confessed that her dad ws planning to come home and live in shed outside and could she get electric to him.......My daughter came running down the stairs after a funny phone call and after i took her phone off her someone tried again....No one except her dad has the mobile number i got the not nice texts on, and no one but her dad has my daughters phone number...I'm talking to a friend via email(who is miles away)...so not totally alone, but scared at the moment, but dont have enough evidence to call police(who from past experience wouldnt come out anyway)....I'm going to bed now, keys fixed in door locks, but that wont stop him and his streetwise family from getting in if they want to...

Would Womens Aid help me find someone who would put door chains and a bedroom lock on my door for me....Ive been in this situation before...I dont think hes stupid enough to come round knowing the police are looking for him, but hes certainly putting the frightners on me.....

Good night and thanks for info....

You must report every contact, if you are receiving texts you do not want to receive this is harrassment. If you are receiving texts that are not very nice from someone you don't know that is harrassment, even worse if your child is receiving texts that upset her/him that is harrassment. If you think that the contacts are not too bad I bet someone who has not had to deal with this nutcase would be frightened of them you have got used to them. The thing with harrassment is how often and how regularly it happens, the pattern of the amount of contact, not how abusive it is, you must report every single thing until they get sick of hearing from you and do something. You are entitlted to live without this fear and worry.

Going to live in the shed and asking a child to supply the electricity is completely loony! and completely unacceptable

Go to the police station today and insist that you speak to someone who has the authority to deal with this situation in the proper way