Help me please...i feel like giving up

pinkshoes

I think you should try again to get an injunction against him going anywhere near you or the kids, telling them you fear for the children's safety.

Did you report the violence to the police each time it occured?

blackeel

pinkshoes wrote: »

I think you should try again to get an injunction against him going anywhere near you or the kids, telling them you fear for the children's safety.

Did you report the violence to the police each time it occured?

No not each time...it wasnt constant, but there should be some record, as a restraining order was "almost" served on him...and the kids will no doubt think they want him back, as although he always lets them down, there was never any nastiness towards them....just me and i have the texts to prove it.....which the police also have(well the older ones)

In the last year the abuse has all been verbal/texts rather than physical.

Pssst

blackeel wrote: »

Understand what u r saying...but if i leave the house, he has won!!

You mean you fear the loss of part of your asset or do you mean he has won some kind of power struggle that you are both engaged in?

If its just the house,see your solicitor,get him to check the landreg to ensure that both of you are regisered as having an interest in the property and make sure,from a legal point of view,that both of you have to consent to the sale. If you move out,push (legally) for the house to be sold.

blackeel

Pssst wrote: »

You mean you fear the loss of part of your asset or do you mean he has won some kind of power struggle that you are both engaged in?

If its just the house,see your solicitor,get him to check the landreg to ensure that both of you are regisered as having an interest in the property and make sure,from a legal point of view,that both of you have to consent to the sale. If you move out,push (legally) for the house to be sold.

Both really,lost asset and he gets me out of the property. Weve agreed to sell, and its been on the market for a while....this has been done through solicitors and weve agreed a 60/40 split. I (after great hardship) paid the mortgage until the DSS stepped in, while he fritterd away his £500 a week wages..on drugs, drink and prostitutes.

I'm positive if we(inc kids) move out, he'll allow the house to fall into a bad state of repair, deliberately so it wont sell. His aim appears to be to hurt me, rather than sell to move on.

blackeel

blackeel wrote: »

No not each time...it wasnt constant, but there should be some record, as a restraining order was "almost" served on him...and the kids will no doubt think they want him back, as although he always lets them down, there was never any nastiness towards them....just me and i have the texts to prove it.....which the police also have(well the older ones)

In the last year the abuse has all been verbal/texts rather than physical.

Ive been out tonight, talking to my parents, while i ws there ive had 10 texts off him...The main jist is that he still thinks i love him(dont know whether i ever did), and the rest explaining what (he says i like) and what hes going to do to me(sexually) when he moves back....I feel physically sick, and have just plucked up the strength to write this....I hate him.....and last time I showed the Police texts like these and nastier ones...nothing was done about it...This frightens me.....and even worse, this time he intends to move back in....

blackeel

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

if he has been violent I would contact womens aid for advice asap as this may well change things.
www.womensaid.org.uk

Will try this in the morning, although tried it last year with no success.....

Loopy_Girl

You need to get out and take you and your kids to safety.

Yes you may lose your share on the house and he 'may win' and you may walk out with nothing but the clothes you are standing in but all the material things can be bought over time.

You and your kids safety and peace of mind is more important that soft furnishings.....please please please phone women's aid tomorrow and get then to arrange to get you to a refuge.

He doesn't have to give you a slap to abuse you. And abusing you is what he is doing and you deserve better than that

ELIZA_D

i know nothing about this but surely if he has been left for a year and not paid any money into the house in this time he can not simply move back in??
If you are no longer together but he is sending these abusive texts with sexual content could this not help in getting a restraining order?
Dont leave just yet.......i have a friend who wanted to leave her husband and was told that if she left the house with her kids she would lose many rights to the property??? This is what she told me so check this out first for accuracy if its right it should apply to him also???? sending good vibes xxxxxxxxxxx

blackeel

ELIZA_D wrote: »

i know nothing about this but surely if he has been left for a year and not paid any money into the house in this time he can not simply move back in??
If you are no longer together but he is sending these abusive texts with sexual content could this not help in getting a restraining order?
Dont leave just yet.......i have a friend who wanted to leave her husband and was told that if she left the house with her kids she would lose many rights to the property??? This is what she told me so check this out first for accuracy if its right it should apply to him also???? sending good vibes xxxxxxxxxxx

Unfortunately(and even more unbelievably)...yes he can move back in, and even sell all the stuff that was bought while we were a couple....as half of each belongs to him....

I am going to present the texts to Womans Aid tomorrow(today) no doubt there will be more by then.....but i went down this route last year, and no orders were served on him, so i am very pessimistic about my chances.

Thanks for the last bit as well, I cannot bring myself to lose my share, as it will then feel all my suffering has been in vain....I dont think he will be physically violent towards me..but sometimes wish he would be, then i have up to date proof.

vaio

The texts threatening sexual violence should be enough to keep him out, I’d forget womens aid and get some legal advice