Help me please...i feel like giving up

blackeel

Triker wrote: »

The police will need evidence to arrest you, it will already be noted that you are being harrassed re the house as you have been contacting the police throughout (this is evidence to back your claims re the harrassment). This is why it is so important to log and record and report everything.

Try not to panic, he may be threatening you and not mean to go ahead, seems a particularly twisted and nasty way to intimidate you which means he has no itentions of playing nice.

Please be careful, if you need to get out with your children to a place of safety, do so, ring the police now and don't be put off reporting the harrassment.

Good luck. x

Either he was bluffing about boys, or the Police havent seen them yet, or you are correct, and there is no evidence....

Is the fact that four teenage boys saying that i interfered with them 2 years ago not enough evidence though???............its all untrue and i imagine at least one will not be able to keep up the lie under interrogation, hopefully in doing so making the others look the liars they are.....

Any lawyers here???

Loretta

I have just seen in my local paper, the evening argus, that in Sussex there are now special courts for domestic violence and it sounds like the police have special training to deal with these situations, whether they do or not I don't know, I can't do a link sorry. It would be good if this was nationwide as each police force seems to please themselves and you seem to live in an area where they do not take it seriously,

I hope you have also changed your useless solicitor too.

Now you know why we have all been saying write everything down however minor and keep phoning the police every single time then it doesn't look like tit for tat. he won't change these sort of people never do, if he was doing all this to a complete stranger he would probably not just be arrested but put in a mental secure unit of some sort, I don't know why it is OK to do this to a former partner or wife and children, it is as if they are not thought to suffer as much, get that injunction. Perhaps you should contact you MP, someone really needs to stop this dreadful situation.

Are you able to record these conversations? there must be some cheap little gadget to do this

Someone, maybe the police needs to talk to your teenage daughter and explain the sitution to her, although it is her father she needs to understand that if she is passing on your phone number she is putting the whole family at risk. Lots of criminals and murderers are fathers it doesn't mean that they should be entitled to ruin the lives of their children by behaving like complete idiots and morons

This just gets worse and worse

AnnieM_3

Just checking in to give my support!

I'm sorry to hear you're still going through a bad time with this man. You have to persevere with the police - camp out in the police station if necessary! The safety of you and your family is paramount!

I hope the police charge him with wasting police time - if he's reported false crimes that's what he could be done for. He sounds like he needs mental health services assistance, to be honest - does he not realise his behaviour is making him seem infit to be look after his kids? Erratic behaviour like this will not be looked on kindly by a court when any kind of custody/access arrangements are made!

I really hope your situation improves very soon

AnnieM x

Savvy_Sue

blackeel wrote: »

Is the fact that four teenage boys saying that i interfered with them 2 years ago not enough evidence though???............

What he says other people say is NOT evidence of any kind, it's called hearsay.

For example, you could phone the police and say that your neighbour says they saw him damaging the car the othe night (sorry about that), but that would not be evidence. Evidence starts when the police talk to your neighbour.

At least that's my understanding.

lisssa

sue is rite as it stands that its hearsay.
If however the teenage boys came forward and stated they wished to make a complaint about 'being interfered with' then the next step would be for the police to take statements from them. If they are teenagers they would have to be in the presence of an 'appropriate adult' . In the circumstances I doubt the police would allow him to be that person ! The police wont 'interogate them' as it is a very delicate matter, but they should make it clear to them the importance of them telling the truth and the implications to them if there not. Abdolute worse case scenario , if the police felt there was sufficent evidence to speak to u about the matter, u would either be arrested or invited in on voluntary interview. Make sure you have legal representation, - it will be offered to you ! and tell them everything, they will then be able to advise you further !

If you feel your not getting the suport you need from the police you could always ring and make an official compliant - that would then be looked at by a sergeant and they should get back to you and discuss the matter with you.

Have you throught about buying a dictaphone so that you can record his telephone conversations ?- warn him at the start of any call that you are going to tape him, and also remind him on tape that you feel him contacting him is harrassment and you will be reporting the call to the police.

you will get through this

take care x

blackeel

Sorry you misunderstood me............He has talked these 4 boys into these lies....He has told me they are contacting the Police to make these allegations...Luckily i reported this immediately to the police, as by the looks of it...it was either a bluff to upset me(it certainly worked), or they havent reported it yet.....but hopefully because i have, the police will see it as a set up...theres been no contact fom him at all since my car was damaged....

After 36 hours the police finally arrived this morning...but by this time my anger, fear and annoyance had mellowed a bit and the viciousness of his actions wasnt as nasty now as it was when it happened, so i felt i wasnt giving my all to the police.However the guy was here for 3 hours and luckily i had written everything down, which he copied, and added more when i remembered it....He left without really saying much, and said the police would get back in touch....I really want to get away from here now, but cannot walk away from my £45k share of the house, and if i leave, i see him moving in, and letting it fall into such a bad state of replair, that it will never sell.

I am prepared to sell at a greatly reduced price though, if the sale can go through quickly, although if his permission is needed, i doubt he would agree to a say 20% reduction on the sale price.....

I have contacted my solicitor over this and after i was a bit more forceful, i seem to be getting somehere with her, and may even leave her to deal with the house while going to another solicitor for the violence part...Ive also spoken to the DVu who are pursuing the Injunction part of this episode...but theres some question over the legal aid....

The bobby van has been requested as urgent..so might be here before christmas....Ive managed to get my car somewhere tonight, so i dont have to worry about that.....

Unfortunately(lol) my daughter has managed to lose the simcard out of her phone, so she cant contact him.....

I am in the process of trying to rig up something to tape his calls...

Thanks again for all the support

Savvy_Sue

blackeel wrote: »

Sorry you misunderstood me............He has talked these 4 boys into these lies....He has told me they are contacting the Police to make these allegations...Luckily i reported this immediately to the police, as by the looks of it...it was either a bluff to upset me(it certainly worked), or they havent reported it yet.....but hopefully because i have, the police will see it as a set up...theres been no contact fom him at all since my car was damaged....

Again, he's TOLD you he's done this, but that doesn't mean he has. Do these boys even KNOW you? If the police interview all four boys and get different stories, nothing will come of it. So until the police arrive and say there's been an allegation made against you, I really wouldn't worry.

Loretta

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Again, he's TOLD you he's done this, but that doesn't mean he has. Do these boys even KNOW you? If the police interview all four boys and get different stories, nothing will come of it. So until the police arrive and say there's been an allegation made against you, I really wouldn't worry.

I would not worry about what he said these boys are going to say to the police. The fact that he contacted you and told you he had done this is harrassment and intimidation, that is where the crime is. You mst record these phone calls, if your children are teenagers they or their friends must know how to do this

blackeel

My best friend told me not to worry about this threat(but i packed my prison bag just in case..)....mainly because as soon as my ex told me this , i phoned the police and told them what he said, since then ive spoken to the police 3 times and the DVU, and nothing has been mentioned by them.....although they did tell me they were 3 days behind(unbelievable isnt it...but ok if youre a bank robber i suppose)

He phoned me a few days agao, and said.."You neednt talk to me if you dont want".....i took a big breath and said....."i dont want to", and put the phone down...He hasnt bothered me or the children since..

Having said that, ive been interviewed today by Childrens Servces" for apparently shouting at the kids too much(which is possibly correct)...but i told her everything and she understands the problems, The kids have assumed this is his doing, and have shown no desire to see him...

Ive found another 2 scratches on my car, and now really just want to sell up and get away fom him....

My solicitor and i have spoken and the DVU is pushing for the injunction....

So far tonite it is quiet...touch wood, and just hope this isnt the calm before the storm....

The bobby van people have still not been intouch.....I have hopefully now got a setup to record his calls(but would prefer not to get any)

Again, thanks for your support...which is keeping me going...

blackeel

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Again, he's TOLD you he's done this, but that doesn't mean he has. Do these boys even KNOW you? If the police interview all four boys and get different stories, nothing will come of it. So until the police arrive and say there's been an allegation made against you, I really wouldn't worry.

Loretta wrote: »

I would not worry about what he said these boys are going to say to the police. The fact that he contacted you and told you he had done this is harrassment and intimidation, that is where the crime is. You mst record these phone calls, if your children are teenagers they or their friends must know how to do this

I understand what you are both saying....

Yes i know these boys, 3 of them are his family, and if u go against one of this family, the lot are out to get you....His brothers will want him out of their houses, so they will plan a fabrication like this....

It hasnt happened as yet, and possibly wont now, but its well within their capability if they put their minds to it....

I just want to get away now...but will not give up my share in the house....