Please help me

Hopeful1

Oh Hippychick, i am glad he has realised he needs help. It is only since my hubby reached this point that we were able to sort things out. Admittedly i haven't had to deal with a 3rd party.

My friend used Relate and said they were excellent. There is a lot to work through and i'm sure your emotional rollercoaster will continue for some time yet, but at least there is hope. The fact he wants to work things out and recognises you need some space is a great start.

I really hope you can be happy again x

quietheart

Well I think you're one brave woman.
For richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.
He's clearly not right and you want to do all you can to help despite the way he's treated you. I think the other woman could actually be a turning point for him and all in all the way he's been over the last 18 months is just as bad imo.
My cousin has PTSD from Bosnia and God, until I saw it, I had no idea how bad it can be and how destructive it is.
I wish you all the very best, you just want to rebuild your family, who can blame you for that?

hippychick1

Thanks for these replies. I certainly don't feel brave rovers! I feel stupid, for not seeing through his lies. I am sure this can work, but I'm so hurt at the moment.

Hopeful - I wish he would have taken notice of people's concerns before this weekend happened. If he had realised how depressed and withdrawn he had become we could have worked through this with me 100% behind him. I still am, but am so hurt and keep lashing out at him. he hasn't got my full support, but I know he will have once I have calmed down.

elj2287

Hi hippychick,

Just take each day as it comes. I'm so glad he has realised what he has been doing and realised it is not right!! It really is a shame it was after breaking his vows to you. Please don't take this the wrong way but I am wondering if that weekend was his rock bottom and his wake up call to his destructive manner?? Do you think he would have worked out how depressed/low he is without going on this weekend away?

Hugs to you, keep posting! We are all here to help and support you whichever way we can, keep posting to kizzy and the gang they know exactly what your going through and are an amazing support group.

xxx

hippychick1

elj2287 wrote: »

Hi hippychick,

Please don't take this the wrong way but I am wondering if that weekend was his rock bottom and his wake up call to his destructive manner?? Do you think he would have worked out how depressed/low he is without going on this weekend away?

Thanks. I feel exactly the same. i said to him sha**ing this woman could have been the best thing that has happened to us! :rotfl:
He looked at me as though I was mad, but I think it has definitely been a wake up call. Its such a shame it has come to this before he realised what an ar*e he has been, but we will work through it. I love him.

Mely

Hippychick... as has been said i think that your hubby definately reached his 'rock bottom' that weekend. Its been his wake up call big time!
I know you have been through such hell but part of you must be relieved that its all come to a head now.
Im sure with the love you have for each other that you can get through this together. As long as he gets the help he desperately needs. You must insist on this!
If things do work out (im sure they will) you must NEVER mention the 'other woman' again (easier said than done!) as that will wreck things for you. Ive seen it happen to a good friend of mine.
(((hugs))) and stay strong im thinking of you.

Ex1le

Hippychick,

congratulations on getting him to admit he needs professional help, im sure there will be a few tough moments ahead but glad you are back on the right track

ih8stress

What a week it must have been for you, Hippychick!

I'm glad that your husband has come to his senses at last and is going to seek the professional help he obviously needs for all your sakes. I think you have the right attitude in seeing this 'other woman' as the turning point in your relationship, I admire you enormously for being able to. It sounds as though your love for him is solid and I'm sure will get you through the emotional turmoil ahead. Remember to look after yourself and your needs as well, though.

Your husband is a very lucky man to have your support and I imagine once he gets the help he needs for his ptsd you will both see the changes. It is difficult to imagine what your husband has gone through in the past and he will also have the added guilt to deal with as well (not that I'm condoning his behaviour but I am trying to understand it as I am sure you are also doing).

You are his rock and also the mother to his children so there is bound to be a strong bond which in time, will strengthen again. It sounds like you both want the relationship to work, so grab all the help and advice you can and go for it.

All the best and keep us informed.

ih8stress

Hippychick: saw this in a newspaper yesterday and thought you might be interested:

https://www.ptsd.org.uk

HTH

hippychick1

We're working through things, but I am finding this really difficult to get past. Has anyone out there come through this situation positively? Have you any advice to stop me getting so upset? I feel I'm never going to get past this. There is a 6 week waiting list for Relate. That feels like forever away.