Please help me

hippychick1

Well things are slowly getting better between me and the OH. We had our first Relate appointment this week, and it seemed to go well.

OH is now having counselling, having been assessed as not having post traumatic stress disorder, but having major trauma issues to deal with. He has stopped drinking completely, and doesn't seem to be struggling with this :j He is helping out more around the house, and interacting with the kids a lot more. He has signed off from the army, so in 12 months time we will be out :j :j :j , bit worried about what we'll do then moneywise, but we have a long time to sort that out. We'll need to find a house, and cannot afford to buy.

I am still struggling quite badly with depression, which does seem to be getting worse. I saw a doctor on Friday, but he didn't seem to want to listen. I was in there about three minutes!!! I am feeling so down, and admitted to feeling suicidal, he said come back in 4 weeks for another check on how I'm feeling. I didn't think this was very good really :mad:
I told my husband, and he was really cross, he is coming to see another doctor with me this week, he feels I also need counselling. I've had a hard year, my mum passed away 4 months ago, and I think I'm still dealing with that, as well as moving house from Germany to the UK. This years has been very stressful, bring on 2009!

HC

basketcase

Hi Hippychick!

Glad to hear that Relate went well and that things seem to be picking up a bit. What a prat that doctor was - surely you've been through enough for him to see that you're not just saying you're down for the sake of it! Better luck with the other doctor - and good on your husband for supporting you!

ih8stress

Hi Hippychick

Glad to hear that you have had your first counselling session and it went well. At least you will be able to feel that things are starting to move forward now, and not just waiting around for things to happen.

Your husband should also be congratulated on giving up the drink - it will be a big step for him.

Your doctor sounds horrible - I do hope you get more joy from the second one - and it shows how much your husband does care for you with the fact that he got angry on your behalf over your poor treatment.

Your husband seems to be making changes in all directions, try not to worry about leaving the army too much. As you say, it is in 12 months time, so you don't need to waste your energy on it at the moment. You've got enough on dealing with the present issues.

I'm not surprised you have depression with everything that has happened. I'm sorry to hear you lost your Mum recently. Of course you will still be coming to terms with that.

At least it sounds like you and your husband are pulling in the same direction now. It's good that he's helping you more around the house and playing with the children.

I am sure with the right support, your life will continue on this upward spiral. Don't be afraid to ask for help where-ever it is available and try and arrange some fun, family orientated activity if possible for you all to bond even closer. I think you are coping brilliantly. Keep in touch.

[Deleted User]

Dear HippieChick

I have been reading this forum with interest and whilst I am happily married and have never personally been through what you are going through, I just wanted to say that you should be PROUD of all the POSITIVE steps you are taking at the moment.

Separation (although you are trying to work things out), moving house and loss of a loved one are three incredibly stressful events in such a short time, I lost my dad very suddenly 4 years ago and even with a tremendous amount of support from my OH and family I ended up having counselling for over a year - don't be so hard on yourself.

Be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend who was going through the same things. We all worry about how we "should" be feeling/behaving/coping instead of taking one day at a time looking after ourselves a bit more. Take small steps - you'll get there.

I wish you all the best.

hippychick1

my husband just dumped me god i feel like a fool

tsstss7

hippychick you are NOT a fool you tried to make it work and that's all you can do ..take care...

Tulip

hippychick1 wrote: »

my husband just dumped me god i feel like a fool

*hugs* Hippychick


Katie

hippychick1

why couldn't he have been straight with me weeks ago, instead he starts taking the p*ss cos I've been having panic attacks, and am struggling to cope.
I feel crushed

tsstss7

hippychick - you will cope if you let yourself - just be forgiving of yourself and try not to expect too much from yourself all at once. You have had a big shock. Do you have family around who can help you out with the children? Or do you find caring for them helps to keep you on an even keel?

welshgirl78

OMG Hippy, I am so sorry to hear that. You have been such a strong amazing person - found this thread tonight and have been updating my BF as I was reading... can't believe he is being so awful after you have done so much xxx

Keep being the fab person you are and please believe in yourself - whatever happens you have shown that you are more than capable of making a happy life for yourself and the children - please let us know as I and others are thinking and worrying about you xxx