Please help me

[Deleted User]

Hey Hippychick, I am soooooo happy for you. I'll have a think about a pressie but I'm sure you'll get ideas flooding in from other MSE'ers soon. :j :j :j

hippychick1

Thanks Goochie. I just want everyone to know how happy I am :j :j :j
I honestly can't believe things have turned out like this. I am so lucky

jay11_2

So happy for you hippy!!!

What about a 'promise' voucher--babysitting, or time spent just with them, or something else they'd really enjoy. You could combine it with a lovely suitable poem/ saying/picture you've printed off.

angelfairy

hi hippy,

i have followed your thread, but never posted as i didn't feel i had anything to contribute.

just a thought, and something along the lines of what jay11 above has said, what about a book of vouchers (home made of course)?

i made one for my hubby which included things like 'free evening on the playstation'; 'home made meal of your choice cooked especially for you'; 'massage' etc.

you could probably find some templates online even.

glad things are going well for you

xx

Mutter_2

Ooooohh, I love happy endings.:T

penniestopounds_3

hippychick1 wrote: »

I want to leave my husband. There, I've said it now. This scares the hell out of me though. Things have not been right between us for a long time, and we have just grown apart. I actually left him, back in July, but after three days of him begging, I went back again. He promised things would change, but that lasted about a week.
We have been together 9 years, married for 7, and have three young children together. It is my children that I am most concerned about, about the effect this will have on them. I feel so guilty for thinking about leaving, but he will not stop drinking. He drinks most nights, and we have barely any money to get by. He is so selfish. He snaps at the kids all the time, and I feel sorry for them.
If I left, I would have to claim benefits, and probably declare myself bankrupt due to all our debts being in my name. I have never had to do anything like this before, and the thought of depending on the state all because I couldn't make my marriage work is terrifying me.
I am shaking whilst typing this. I have almost written this post so many times before, but am scared to admit things really are this bad. I know I have to leave.
Has anyone else been through this? How have your children coped?

Is he willing to change by seeking professional help with his drinking?
Do you have any other family you could stay with for a while?

If you are unhappy with the situation then think about how your children must be feeling. The worst thing is to stay in an unhappy relationship 'for the children'. I had to leave one and my two sons told me later they would have felt so quilty if I had continued being unhappy with their father just to keep a 'family life' with both parents.They also told me they knew so long before I told them of the split that we would divorce because of atmosphere, looks etc.
Children are amazing at what they pick up on, no matter how hard you try to cover things.

ih8stress

Hippychick. So pleased to know that things are great for you, may they continue to be so.

As regards your friends, can I suggest you get them a gemstone/crystal (these are usually just a few pounds) and write a small thank you card along the lines of the following:

A real, true friend is hard to find
You are of that 'special' kind
Unbiased advice you gave willingly
When I needed support desperately
I appreciate everything you do
And I am always here for you, too

This gemstone is a small token of my thanks and represents our friendship. It's meaning is ".................." (google gemstone meanings + friendship to get ideas).

I am sure your friends have already been 'rewarded' by seeing you and your family back on track anyway.

As usual, all the best.

[Deleted User]

Happy New Year HippyChick,
How's things? I hope everything is still happy in your world.
x

hippychick1

Happy New Year to you too Goochie! Hope you had a nice Christmas.

We had a great Christmas, a few ups and downs, but mainly it has been good. It was the first Christmas without my mum, which was sad, and I found it really strange. DH and I are still talking all the time if anything is bothering us. I still find it hard to understand how things have changed so much in such a short time, but it's great!!!!

My dad is paying for a weekend away for us to Prague at the end of the month, and will be having all three kids for us. Everyone has been lovely and really helped us. DH parents are taking kids away in May, so DH and I are going away for the week.

I have my first counselling session on Friday to talk through everything I need to, about my mum dying and what happened between DH and I. I really feel this will help. I'm still on antidepressants, and I'm worrying a bit that I'll feel different once I stop taking them.

My life has honestly turned around completely. This time last year I wanted to leave my husband, now I can't imagine life without him :j

Thanks for thinking of me!!!!

Stephb1986_2

Yay congratulations that your back on track well done!

Keep us updated!

Steph xx