Please help me

Keeping_Motivated

Awe Hippychick you must feel awful you poor thing. How did you find out did he just tell you? Has it been going on while you were together or did he find her super quick?

hippychick1

We've been having problems for a while, since he came back from Afghanistan 18 months ago. He's been a different person.
He met this MARRIED woman 6 weeks ago when he was away on exercise. They talked for a few hours then on that basis he booked a hotel for this wknd. She has 2 kids.
I phoned him this morning, thinking he was on a stag wknd to come home early so we can talk through things. he wouldn't. I asked if there was anyone else he said yes I'm here with her now. I feel so stupid. I can't stop crying I feel sick

Keeping_Motivated

Hippychick1 I don't know if you have seen this thread
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1170917

but they know exactly what you are going through so please post on there and they will help you.

Take care that is a massive shock. He will regret this more than you in the end I promise.

quietheart

Oh God hippychick, that's awful. But I kinda think you were meant to find out, and better that you know now rather than later. He simply doesn't deserve you. You have a chance of a better life ahead, of course you are going to miss him, it'll take time to readjust to your new life but he's shouting it from the rooftops that it's not him you need. He's only thinking of himself, he's selfish and you don't need that.
So sorry you are suffering like this though.

Keeping_Motivated

Hippychick that thread I mentioned is basically a carry on from this one
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1055339

The OP just thought her marriage was over and he OH was depressed and did not believe anyone else was involved but later in the thread she finds out he has met someone else and she went to pieces and was devastated just like you. I think the thread will help you focus and give you some hope that things will improve.

hippychick1

Thanks KM. I have been following that thread from kizzys first post. Never for one moment believed I'd be in the same situation

Keeping_Motivated

I've just noticed you have posted on there. I am sorry that you have to be part of it but I've seen how much help its given the others so please keep posting xx

Craftyscholar

hippychick1 wrote: »

We've been having problems for a while, since he came back from Afghanistan 18 months ago. He's been a different person.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder???????

ih8stress

I'm sending you a BIG hug, Hippychick. I know your emotions are all over the place and your heart will be telling you one thing and your head the other.

This latest news will seem like the end of the world right now but believe me in time you will come to realise that it is just the wake up call you need to help you move on from this relationship.

Seeking counselling is a good idea (either separately or together) but I think you should continue to make a new life for yourself and your children.

Use this confusing time to concentrate on the children and their needs - it will help you to focus on your relationship with them.

I would suggest waiting at least 6 months before making any decisions regarding your husband as your emotions are too raw at the moment.

Good luck to you.

Hopeful1

Craftyscholar wrote: »

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder???????

My hubby left the forces about 15 years ago.He didn't go to war but did have some difficult postings. It is only over the last 18 months that he and us - me and his family - have realised he's been suffering with depression.

We split for a while. Whilst i felt desperately sorry for him, he refused to get any sort of help. His mood and binge drinking were bringing me down and i had our young one to think of. He finally sought counselling a few months ago. It changed him so much as he finally realised that the army was where most of his problems began and that talking about your feelings wasn't such a bad thing after all.

I've been lucky as we've sorted ourselves out, but no-one should suffer because someone else can't see the effect their behaviour is having on others.

I spoke to my GP who referred me to the practice counsellor. I don't know if that's an option for you?

Wishing you all the very best hippychick1 x