Toddler Toilet Training help! (merged)

zain · 18 February 2005 at 8:04PM

Judging by previous posts, I am sure somebody will be able to help us here.

Our 2year 9 months year old boy will happily do a wee in the toilet ( unfortunately, standing up only. We never used a potty(big mistake, i know)) but will not do his number two and as a result we have to keep a nappy on him in the morning. He has a very good routine.

He is absolutely adamant he will not sit on the toilet. We have tried everything. He has seen us, his bunny and his 4 year old cousin on the toilet. But he refuses point blank. He gets really worked up about it and the whole situation becomes unmanageable!

I know we should have used a potty from day one and taught him to sit. But my recollection was that he refused to sit so we let me stand up and wee like an adult.

Somebody must be able to suggest something here!

Many thanks

Glad · 18 February 2005 at 8:43PM

my reply may not be everybodys answer butI would leave it for a week or so until he is less worked up and then try bribery, choose something he loves but only has as a treat (mini bags of maltesers worked with one of mine) and tell him that you don't mind if he does it in the nappy but if he does one on the toilet or a potty he can have the whole bag for himself (substitute whatever treat you want)

above all don't make it an issue,

good luck

Jay-Jay_4 · 18 February 2005 at 8:48PM

Nowt wrong with a bit of bribery!

Is he scared of falling in the loo? Have you tried one of those special loo seats that you fit under the main seat? They're plastic and some have pictures on. They're only a few quid from Mothercare, maybe you could take him to choose his own.

My daughter used one of these for ages, even though she was happy to sit on a 'normal' loo she preferred using the special one.

Yoga_Girl · 18 February 2005 at 9:39PM

Good idea as Glad said to leave it for a week or so until he's forgot about it then start afresh.

Do you think he would sit on a potty if you had one in the lounge, for example just plonk it in front of the tv, then gently encourage him to sit on it whilst his favourite programme is on? We used to do things like sit the teddy on the potty and say "oh isn't teddy clever sitting on the potty".

We also used to reward my boy just for sitting on the potty or toilet, even if he did absolutely nothing, then later on we worked on getting him to use it.

There are some books you can get on potty training/using the toilet that are for kids to read, I found a "pop-up potty book" which was quite silly and fun and my son loved reading about other little boys using the loo.

Try getting him to make up a silly rhyme using the loo (boys love that sort of thing - the sillier the better!).

Good luck and try not to worry, he'll get there in the end!

Spendless · 18 February 2005 at 10:08PM

Give the trainer toilet seat a try but I wouldn't worry too much at 2 years 9 months.

My nephew has only come out of nappies 2 weeks ago, and he is 4 in March. He is a twin and his sister came out of them last summer.

He also was scared of the toilet and the potty. He has been going to nursery in pull-ups but sis has been tearing her hair out cos he's at full-time school in Sept. She eventually bribed him.

If yours already does a wee fine then i'd say it's just a matter of time before he does the rest.

Good Luck

loracan1 · 18 February 2005 at 10:20PM

At one point when toilet training my 3 year old he wouldn't sit on the toilet either. I think he was afraid of it and I got over it (including a bit of bribery)by holding him tightly to me as he was sat on. Me kneeling in front of him and letting him lean on me. Only needed to do it a few times before he had the confidence to sit on it himself.

LCard · 18 February 2005 at 10:52PM

I can sympathise. My 3 year (and 2 months) daughter just does not do it. I have tried everything in the last 6 months. Bribery, new pants, new barney toy, ignoring, whooping when by accident a tiny one came out but nothing works....she starts nursery next week and I cant tell them she is still doing it in her pants else they wont take her so I am just hoping she holds it in when she's there. I feel my life would be transformed if she would only do it......next step is dangling an inflatable barney from ceiling in bathroom.....I cant even believe I am doing this!

zain · 18 February 2005 at 11:17PM

Many thanks for all your support!

We were beginning to think it was only us! All we ever hear about are the ones who were potty trained at 18months ( and slept through the night at 4weeks).

We do have a trainer toilet seat and that hasn't made any difference. And of course, we have tried bribery on every level. But he just will not try it. I think he is genuinely frightened of it and we should understand and accept that. Who has rational fears after all? I guess we feel we are really close to the final result. Perhaps we are not!

I think what we will try is to get him just to sit on the toilet without asking him to do a number two. Maybe with his trousers on and somebody holding him and keep doing this for a while. Reward him for this etc. Take this really slowly. what do others think? I guess it is like dealing with a phobia. It feels like that.

And oh yes , i forgot to mention, our second one is due in a couple of weeks. .....

MrsMondragon · 19 February 2005 at 12:55AM

Be greatful you have made a start. My 2 years and 8 months boy doesnt want to even start potty training. Every time I suggest it he screams "NO" He just wont get up without a nappy and screams for it. Every time I take his nappy off and suggest using the potty he becomes very verbal. I know most of his age group are out of nappies...and also im finding even the large sizes of nappies are beginning to get tight. So its almost time to start using Convertibles, which are 7 pounds for 30!

Glad · 19 February 2005 at 11:46AM

Zain

as you just mentioned that you are having another baby in 2 weeks this may be part of the problem, who knows how a 2yr old thinks? he may be seeing you trying to change him and also knowing you are having another baby and want his life to just stay the same, also you may find that after you have the baby he will regress a little (he will want to be your baby too),
it may be best to just wait until the baby is settled in and then start the toilet training again, lots of comments along the lines of 'this is just a baby but you are mummy's big boy' could help

frizz_head · 19 February 2005 at 2:19PM

I can honestly say, potty training was the most stressful part of parenting for me (although at only 7 and 4, I am sure worse is to come!lol). My eldest was so difficult to train, and after 9 months of constant battles and accidents everyday, at 3½ I finally went to my health visitor for help. The wee accidents I could cope with, but the poos everyday wore me down. She told me to back off totally. Instead of every 3 seconds asking if she needed to go, I had to put the ownership on her. She suggested, stripping her off completely - no clothes to get in the way - and to reintroduce the potty. The clothes were to stay off for the whole day. Learning to use a potty is one thing, learning to remove clothes comes once using the potty has become second nature. Place it somewhere where you don't mind spills, ie. kitchen, and keep it there. Then explain once only, where the potty is, and where to go for toilets. Then don't say another word. And it worked - straight away. I did have to cancel all plans, and stay in for the best part of the week, but it worked.

When I had my second, I waitied until she showed the initiative. At 2½ she suddenly said she wanted some pants, so I booked a week off work, arranged for friends to drop off and pick up my eldest from school, and followed the exact same method.

I know one size does not fit all, but this is what worked for me.

Toddler Toilet Training help! (merged)

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