Toddler Toilet Training help! (merged)

MrsMW

I'm just reading this thread because I'm bored with all the football. It's a long time since I had children but I remember tearing my hair out because I couldn't get my son dry at night,and then one day Grandma came with new pyjamas for him and in a casual way said "I hope you don't wet these". He went to bed that night wearing them and never had a wet bed again.

Bennifred

I can remember being in total despair thinking my eldest boy was never going to be dry at night (took until he was 7! his 4 yr old brother was dry at night before him!!). I used to think there would never be a time when I didn't have to wash sheets every day, etc. But they all do get there eventually :rolleyes: So, do not despair!
(Eldest son would just love me for sharing that with you all - he's 18 now! )

Savvy_Sue

moggins wrote:

We met with the continence nurse on Thursday and she only had one suggestion that we hadn't tried, which was to put her in knickers all day, put her pull ups in the toilet and allow her to go there and put one on when she needed a poo. Madam thinks this is a totally ridiculous idea and told us so.

Anyway we trotted off to Asda and allowed her to choose a few packs of knickers (on top of the ones she already has), Thursday she held it in all day, Friday she had been punished for being naughty and when she was sat on the naughty step, decided to go in her knickers. First pair to hit the bin and it's only been two days.

Not what I'd call a huge success so far

Ah, but there's a clue there, isn't there?

moggins wrote:

when she was sat on the naughty step, decided to go in her knickers.

I haven't looked back to see why you had this referral, but it sounds as if your DD may be capable, but stubborn. Bit like my son really, who I am sure deliberately pooed in his pants when first left at nursery.

I don't know how you get round it, but hopefully if she can see that keeping pullups in the loo is ridiculous, she will also soon see that pooing in her pants is equally ridiculous, and pointless.

Some people will say it was for attention and that they shouldn't get any attention for it, just calmly change them without a big fuss. If you find that doesn't work, you might consider making a BIG fuss, just once, to see if that helps!

Spendless

moggins wrote:

We're going out of our minds with worry now, she will be 4 in June and starts school in September, I know someone has posted that they have never known a child start school in nappies but I fear this one will be

My sister has twins (boy and girl). The girl came out of nappies last summer a few months after her 3rd birthday. The boy wasn't interested and only came out of nappies at the beginning of the year. A few weeks short of their 4th birthday.

They have been in school nursery since last September and I know my sis was concerned that he wouldn't be accepted.(which left her with a dilemma cos she couldn't really let one twin go without the other or send them to seperate places) My own son is a year older than the twins and I know his school nursery were quite strict about them being toilet trained. Sis spoke to the school and they were happy to take him.

Recently the staff at my daughters toddler group told me that daughter could be left at their playgroup(pre-school) at 2 and half regardless of whether or not she was potty trained as they were no longer allowed to discrimate. From my own sisters experience I should imagine that this applies at school level too.

moggins

Thanks for the encouragement

Savvy Sue, we are definitely getting the impression now that she knows exactly what she is doing. She trashed another new pair yesterday and went into the playroom to do it. I'm trying to keep calm but it's PMT week and other stresses are not helping.

She's been at pre-school playgroup for the past 18 months and they have been so good but she never has a dirty nappy at school, she holds it until she gets home and then she goes. We have the meeting with the new headmistress next week so we'll have to have a chat with her then.

Savvy_Sue

moggins wrote:

Thanks for the encouragement

Savvy Sue, we are definitely getting the impression now that she knows exactly what she is doing. She trashed another new pair yesterday and went into the playroom to do it. I'm trying to keep calm but it's PMT week and other stresses are not helping.

I will PM you a script - do not want to make public just how evil I was! Up to you if you use it or not, and no guarantees you won't scar her for life or that it will work ...

bad_mum

Yoga_Girl wrote:

Good idea as Glad said to leave it for a week or so until he's forgot about it then start afresh.

Do you think he would sit on a potty if you had one in the lounge, for example just plonk it in front of the tv, then gently encourage him to sit on it whilst his favourite programme is on? We used to do things like sit the teddy on the potty and say "oh isn't teddy clever sitting on the potty".

We also used to reward my boy just for sitting on the potty or toilet, even if he did absolutely nothing, then later on we worked on getting him to use it.

There are some books you can get on potty training/using the toilet that are for kids to read, I found a "pop-up potty book" which was quite silly and fun and my son loved reading about other little boys using the loo.

Try getting him to make up a silly rhyme using the loo (boys love that sort of thing - the sillier the better!).

Good luck and try not to worry, he'll get there in the end!

I wouldn't put a potty in the lounge, otherwise he may be happy to sit on it watching Tweenies or whatever, then you have to do a re-train by getting him to go in the bathroom. Make the bathroom more fun (for want of a better term) put a bath book near so he can look at it, let him flush the loo (always a great WOW!), buy soap in a dispenser that is just for him when he goes to the loo. (that way you can encourage hand-washing at the same time)

I have 4 children all potty trainned, 2 with the use of a potty and 2 went to the toilet (not an interest in the potty at all) But all definatley in the bathroom, how else are they going to learn that there is an appropriate place to go?
I once saw a woman sit her child on a potty in the school car park!!

All children develop at different times but all get there in the end try not to make it an issue, be very patient (SAINTLY!!) AND IT WILL ALL HAPPEN. Having said that, it sometimes feels as if they'll be in the nappy habit forever! It has got to be the worst thing about children, I think it's the only truly exasperating thing, but brilliant when it all happens.

All my children were toilet trained at different ages, the latest being 3 years old. Don't rush it ,they know when they are ready (if they are ready you have far fewer accidents) and it also helps if they can see you do the same thing (well similar if you have boys!!), or perhaps a little more appropraite if they see their older siblings? A kind of "oh look Ben uses the toilet, isn't he clever/grown-up/etc."
Good luck!
(Sorry a bit of a long reply!)

IhateCingular

MrsMondragon wrote:

Be greatful you have made a start. My 2 years and 8 months boy doesnt want to even start potty training. Every time I suggest it he screams "NO" He just wont get up without a nappy and screams for it. Every time I take his nappy off and suggest using the potty he becomes very verbal. I know most of his age group are out of nappies...and also im finding even the large sizes of nappies are beginning to get tight. So its almost time to start using Convertibles, which are 7 pounds for 30!

Did you try getting him to dunk the cheerios? See who can pee the farthest?

chardonnay_2

sorry haven't read the whole thread. my sis was terrified of going to the toilet for a number 2, my gran bribed her with 50p and it never was a problem again. might be worth a shot

moggins

We've had a small breakthrough. She refused point blank to sit on the toilet with her pull up on and we threw away about 7 pairs of knickers then I back tracked a little. Told her she did not have to sit on the toilet but we would be very happy if she would ask for a pullup when she needed a poo instead of going in her knickers. Since then she has asked for a pull up every time and started walking like John Wayne as soon as she has gone. We've not had one dirty pair of knickers since.

Now we have to move her to going on the toilet. But I'm a lot more hopeful about the prospect especially now we know that she's recognising when she needs to go