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Toddler Toilet Training help! (merged)

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Comments

  • Jay-Jay_4
    Jay-Jay_4 Posts: 7,351 Forumite
    I haven't read this thread through but my daughter is 6 next week, a bright, intelligent child, great at school etc....she's been out of nappies at night for about 2 months.

    DON'T WORRY!!!! It's perfectly normal for children of this age to be in nappies at night. My advice is to leave her for a few weeks then start again with some positive reinforcement.

    In the meantime, just concentrate on the daytimes, take her to the loo lots and when she's finished, take her off the loo and count to ten, then try for another wee.

    I don't know what I did wrong with my daughter but just recently it's 'clicked'...it has to 'click' to work.
    Just run, run and keep on running!

  • patchwork_cat
    patchwork_cat Posts: 5,874 Forumite
    In my experience potty training is a mixed bag- some children being easy some not so.

    3 is young to be dry at night, but you could try lifting her when you go to bed- we did this until 5.

    There will be some set backs during the day with some children and sometimes there is absolutely no reason! Ask her more often if she wants to go during the day- particularly after a drink, snack, when you are going. Does she have a 'big girls' seat on the toilet?

    She will get it if she has done it before. I know it isn't money saving , but what about pampers mats on the bed at night?

    good luck
  • Kantankrus_Mare
    Kantankrus_Mare Posts: 6,142 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Children differ immensely in the potty training stage but its soooooooo difficult not to worry about it when you are going through it on your own.

    I have 2 children. The first a boy was ages becoming dry at night and I like the OP was concerned I was getting it wrong. I think I just kept putting him in trainer pants till they looked dry in the morning and then took a gamble.

    In the morning if a dry bed was found I used to jump up and down in the air like a mad woman in front of my son praising him .

    If a wet bed was found I never commented on it whatsoever (though a plastic sheet on bed is a must!)

    Eventually he got the right idea and within a few months was dry at night.

    My daughter on the other hand was a doddle. At age 2 she went on her potty a couple of times and then would take potty up to toilet to flush herself and progressed immediately to using the "big toilet"
    Dry nights were almost at the same time.

    So you see no two children are the same!! Hope this has been of some help and remember.........you never see an 18 yr old still in nappies!! lol so dont worry......you'll get there
    Make £10 a Day Feb .....£75.... March... £65......April...£90.....May £20.....June £35.......July £60
  • Pinky9
    Pinky9 Posts: 90 Forumite
    I have had 6 children - and dread potty training. All of them have been different.

    Do phone your HV if you would like her advice - they are always glad to hear from you and full of useful advice.

    With my youngest son (now nearly 3) I don't refer to the night time nappy as a nappy - I call them night time pants - cos he says nappies are for babies! I am lucky because as soon as he was dry during the day he was dry at night - but I still use the pull-ups just in case!

    My 4th child is diabetic and has been since he was 2. He was 8 or 9 before he stopped wetting at night - probably because he drank so much! But the only thing I could do with him was to lift him at night just before I went to bed. He is such a heavy sleeper but I could get him out of bed and he would walk to the loo and do his business and then take him back to bed kiss him and say goodnight. He would go straight off to sleep again and not even remember in the morning. I still take my youngest to the loo before I go to bed and make sure that as soon as he is awake that's our first stop!

    As for during the day, I make sure that I ask gently, almost a reminder, on a regular basis and if he says no then I leave it for a while, but will, for instance if he asks me for a drink, just say ok but I think we should go to the toilet first and then i'll get your drink. And always before I go out even if he doesn't go.

    Perhaps you could also monitor what is drunk near bedtime - I try to keep it to a minimum although he always has a cup of milk before bedtime!

    I do sympathise - it can be very stressful, but it will come with patience and encouragement. It's just important that you don't make a big thing of it - it can also be an attention seeking thing!

    Good luck and keep smiling!

    Pinky
  • skylight
    skylight Posts: 10,716 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Home Insurance Hacker!
    Dont worry!!!

    Put her in nappies at night and concentrate on the days for a while. Sort one out first as it appears that doing both is confusing/upsetting her.

    Sticker charts work for toilets, and get different ones for washing hands, pooping etc.

    Get a plastic sheet for the bed. I bought mine (not mine personally!) off ebay total inc P&P £3.74. Dont give her a drink before bed, or an hour before and take her to the toilet before bed, integrate it into the teeth washing routine.

    If she does get up with a dry nappy say so "Wow!" but then thats it.

    Take her to the toilet every hour on the hour, to get into a routine and keep daytime drinks down to meal times only. Take her shopping so she can buy her own pants.


    Have you tried the "Only big girls can go to school" yet? Worked with mine!!!! But her cousin who is older, is still in nappies at night and hes nearly 4.


    You do realise that the next problem is toilet facination?? Thats where every child loves using everyones toilet and will go everywhere there is one regardless of where that may be!!!!
  • Poppy9
    Poppy9 Posts: 18,833 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    If you put a large towel on top of the plastic sheet, but under the bed sheet if there is an accident then it won't run everywhere.
    :) ~Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone.~:)
  • Mumstheword
    Mumstheword Posts: 3,766 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Bedtime wetting is aparently nothing we have any control over.
    From what I have been told (so it's hearsay!) the kidneys develop to a point where they close down throught the night to stop you needing to pee. In very young children this hasn't developed, and it varies from child to child.

    In my experience...my youngest two are 4 and 2. The 2 yr old wakes a lot with dry nappies in the morning, The 4 yr old - nappies always very wet in the morning. He is a really heavy sleeper, and we have gone through waking him to go to the loo, but I really think his body just isn't ready yet, and have no intention of upsetting him by making it an issue. If he's still not anywhere near in a year or so, I'll have a word with my GP (HV is a useless waste of space who gets on my nerves!!)

    I may be going about this completely the wrong way, so don't take this as advice, but I hope it reassures you that lots of us are in the same boat!

    Mumxx
    *** Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly ***

    If I don't reply to you, I haven't looked back at the thread.....PM me :)
  • kazd
    kazd Posts: 1,127 Forumite
    When I first started potty training it was great fun at first and then my son just started having accidents, got bored, so I put him back in nappies, I had to have him dry for playschool which was when he was 2.5, I gave him four weeks back in nappies and gave myself five weeks prior to pre-school to get him potty trained. Well four weeks later out of nappies and for the first two days he had about six pairs of trousers a day and then bingo it clicked and he immediately went dry at night but it took me 11 weeks to get up the courage to remove his pull ups at night. The thing is when they are ready it will happen, you don't see many adults wearing a nappy to bed.

    One of the things I read is that we have a muscle called the sphincter muscle and until that devlops they do not get the tell tale sensation that tells them or wakes them for a wee.

    I have three children and have never had a problem since the first time I tried with my eldest son, they were all potty trained by 2.5. Let them drink plenty during the day so they get used to the sensation of needing the loo, don't lift them at night, only do it if they waken because it is probably their body waking them for a wee. If my youngest wakes in the night then I will that is the only time I will take him to the toilet at night.
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  • gravitytolls
    gravitytolls Posts: 13,558 Forumite
    I wouldn't worry, I think I read somewhere that the average age for dry(ish) nights is 3.5

    Most of mine were about that age, and really on;y achieved during teh warm summer months when i could wash and dry sheets quickly.

    Accidents during the day after becoming dry are also pretty normal. Try not to worry, or feel too annoyed. But I did find that as well as saying ' oh dear, never mind', I kept asking ' do you need a wee'. And every time I went, I took little one with me, everything soon became great again.

    Sticker charts can be quite helpful too.

    Good luck, and don't worry. They're all different, and it doesn't matter what anyone else's child is doing, yours will do what she wants when she's ready.
    I ave a dodgy H, so sometimes I will sound dead common, on occasion dead stupid and rarely, pig ignorant. Sometimes I may be these things, but I will always blame it on my dodgy H.

    Sorry, I'm a bit of a grumble weed today, no offence intended ... well it might be, but I'll be sorry.
  • rokerroar
    rokerroar Posts: 13 Forumite
    Just wanted to say thank-you to all of you who have posted replies - I started off doing it individually but there were so many.
    All of them have been really useful - either with moral support or the tips. I'm feeling loads better about things and no longer too worried about the nights.

    One tip for KK - my mother-in-law came up with a top idea for changing sheets at night. Get two rubber sheets and make the bed up so you have one rubber sheet on top of the mattress and then a normal sheet then the second rubber sheet and finally a second normal sheet. When there is an accident in the night it means you just have to whip off the top layer and you have a second bed ready made - we used this loads before we gave up and went back to nappies. Good luck,
    thanks again to everyone,
    Elaine
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