Toddler Toilet Training help! (merged)

Jay-Jay_4

Savvy_Sue wrote:

Now, can anyone tell me how I stop my youngest (13) farting in the car and the lounge and stinking us all out? He does it quite deliberately!

I have a cork here! would you like me to post it to you?

rokerroar

I have got a real headache at the moment with my daughter who has just had her third birthday. It took us until about six weeks to get her out of nappies but she was dry at night within a couple of weeks after that.
We took her out of nappies at night and at first it was fine but then she started to have one or two accidents every night so we put her back into training pants overnight but kept her out of them during the day.
However within a couple of days of that she has stopped telling us when she wants to go to the loo during the day and is having several accidents every day. We are at our wits end - we don't know if messing her around at night has caused her problems or if it is something else. Last night we took her back out of nappies at night and she had two accidents. We don't know who to ask for advice - no babies in our family for more than 20 years and we have not seen the health visitor since her 2nd birthday - so is there anyone here who can give us some tips on where we are going wrong. I'm terrified of getting something so important badly wrong.

quietheart

Lots and lots of 3 yr olds are in nappies at night, I really wouldn't worry about it. I would have her in nappies at night if she is wetting so regularly. Getting up in the night and changing bedding isn't any fun and should be avoided at all costs! She could be finding it stressful, it's hard not to show how annoying it is and she could pick up on it. I remember how stressful it gets but you'll soon forget, I'm sure the problem won't continue.
Good luck!

Savvy_Sue

Even if you haven't seen your HV for over a year, you can still phone and ask for advice and that is what I would do. In fact I called on mine when one of my sons reverted to having 'accidents' at 7 or so!

Savvy_Sue

Jay-Jay wrote:

I have a cork here! would you like me to post it to you?

:rotfl:

Thank you! I shall threaten him with one, we have an excellent collection!

On second thoughts, what about a beer bottle top! :eek:

telly-addict

If she's anything like my daughter, she may well stop telling you she needs the toilet for a while! I think they get bored with the whole idea of having to go to the toilet and quite often don't get nearly as concerned with an accident as you do! After all, they don't have to do the laundry!

Personally, I would just say - let's just go to the toilet before we have lunch or go out or whatever, so she doesn't have to initiate it herself.

You could gently ask or remind her if she needs to go rather than expecting her to tell you, although expect a lot of 'no' answers, shortly followed by wet pants! She is still very young at 3 and it will come eventually. You could always try a sticker chart for going to the toilet, whether you take her or she initiates it.

As for nighttime, put her back into pull-ups for a while until she is waking with a dry one for a few nights in a row. I was never in a hurry for night-time dryness as it wasn't so much of an issue, and I'm sure we had a much longer delay than you did before my oldest was dry at night.

Try not to worry about it, you have done all the hard work to get her trained, what you are describing is very normal!

KK

My daughter was not out of nappies until a week past her 3rd birthday then did it in a day - little monkey. She has been pretty reliable every since, but she still wets at night. We recently went on holiday for 2 weeks and I purposely didn't take any nappies, but only those Pampers bed mats ('cos we weren't changing the sheets!) and we didn't have a single dry night. I have perservered at home and kept her out of nappies the last 2 weeks, using the Pampers bed mats again, but we have had about 50% success rate so far. She sleeps very heavily and I am reluctant to lift her to sit on a potty when I go to bed, but I am knackered through many nights of disturbed sleep 'cos she gets very upset when she wets and wakes up. She is nearly 5 and looks ridiculous in nappies now. Any suggestions? Also I either have to change her sheets in the middle of the night or bring her into bed with us, neither of which are a great option and we don't have a spare room anymore!

I don't know what to suggest to rokeroar, except that I sought the advice of my health visitor and her advice worked. We have tried a sticker chart for dry nights but it still doesn't work. I have even cut her bedtime milk down to half a cup which she was very upset about. I know you have to be quite careful about making going to the toilet an 'issue' as they can turn it round against you (as your daughters seems to have done). I made it quite clear to my little girl that nappies were for night time only and she was reluctant and screamed all afternoon, but then relented.

shelly

I have no children of my own yet but my friend has a little girl who is nearly 5yrs old and she is dry during the day but wears nappies for bed and they rarely have a dry nite.
I know what I've said isn't advice but its reasurring for you to know that your daughter being only 3 and not dry at night isn't uncommon.

helen21_2

My daughter was dry in the day before she was two, within weeks one night she just refused to have a nappy on for bed and apart from the odd accident she was fine. My son is just three and has been dry in the day for a few months now but has not yet refused a nappy on at night and his nappies in morning are still very wet so feel that he aint ready yet so havn't attempted to force the issue. Each child is different and i think once there nappies start to be dry in a morning they are ready to start going through the night, but that is just my opinion! Go with whatever you and your child are happy with, whats the hurry!!

helen21

Poppy9

The hard part for me was getting her interested in using the toilet/potty in the first place. I listened to the advice of wait for her to express an interest, give you signs etc. I thought I had cracked it at 18 months when she called me from her cot to say "my turn now". I realised she meant the loo as I had just been and her nappy was dry and she had a big wee on the loo. I asked her if she wanted to wear pants now - to which she said yes. I gave up by tea time as I had mopped up so many puddles:o . I didn't mention it again but casually put the potty and toilet seat out around her 2nd birthday but she just ignored it. A friend who was struggling to get her son out of nappies at almost 4 told me she had bought cheap and nasty nappies that were uncomfortable. He didn't realise they were different but was obviously uncomfortable as he stopped needing them. I tried this and after the grotty nappy falling down in a shop as it fitted so badly she came home and took it off and used the pot never to wear one again day or night.

You are not doing anything wrong and she will get there in the end. Its like parents stressing over when their children start walking. One of my daughter friend didn't stand till 17 months and walked at 18 months. However you would never have known it to see them playing together as once they get a skill they master it quickly.