Toddler Toilet Training help! (merged)

Savvy_Sue

Agree with the advice to talk to your HV, to not make a big deal about it for a while, and SO agree with Jay-Jay that sometimes they are just lazy!

We did talk about potty training a little while ago, and there may be some more ideas there: I know I posted my experience ... I think ideas when you do try again included 'running out' of nappies and using terries - ugh!

But when you feel she's ready, it may be worth talking about the advantages of not wearing nappies, especially when she goes to school, because she will be the odd one out if she's still in nappies then ... Maybe right now she doesn't care, maybe she doesn't want to be a big girl etc, but in time she may come to care.

Have you tried star charts? Never worked for me, but I know some people swear by them ...

jb84344

yeah for star charts!

jb84344

frizz_head wrote:

Talking of competitive mums, I have a friend who insisted that her son was potty trained at 18 months. Basically her definition of potty trained was the fact that he was nappyless. He would wee everywhere, everyday - many times a day. I never once saw him use a potty/toilet. She would leave my house with a carrier bag full of wet clothes, and I would be mopping up wet patches with my 1001 for ages afterwards. I once asked her if maybe he wasn't quite ready, but she insisted that she couldn't possibly backtrack after all the progress they had made. Which was??????

ROFLMAO - cheers for causing a massive grin frizz_head :beer:

Becles

I don't rate pull up pants. They must feel just like nappies, so I can't see why the child would be inclined to wee in them if they know it's going to be soaked away like a nappy. At least with normal knickers it's going to be uncomfortable and hopefully put them off!

Have you tried letting her into the bathroom when you use the toilet, then giving yourself lots of praise. You feel incredibly stupid acting excited and saying 'yeah look, Mammy did a wee in the toilet' but it worked with my two!

If they did soil themselves, I was stern but not mad. I just said things like 'oh what a shame when you were doing so well yesterday'. When they did go in the loo I gave loads and loads of praise.

HOLsale

JULIE wrote:

I would suggest your first port of call would be your Health Visitor...have you spoken to them yet

Have you found a reason as to why she says " you naughty i'm mad"? has someone got angry with her and she is copying their response which has put her off.... that sounds a bit odd to me...

Has she ever at any time weed or pood in the toilet or on the potty.... what about at a grandparents house.

she says 'you naughty, i'm mad' when i insist she wear pants instead of nappies. if i put pants on her she glares at me :eek:

she has weed and pooed one time for each but both quite far apart and they seemed more accidental than anything else (well that's how it starts i realise but you know what i mean)

we have an appointment with the HV in a few weeks so i will talk with her then i think

HOLsale

Becles wrote:

Have you tried letting her into the bathroom when you use the toilet, then giving yourself lots of praise. You feel incredibly stupid acting excited and saying 'yeah look, Mammy did a wee in the toilet' but it worked with my two!

If they did soil themselves, I was stern but not mad. I just said things like 'oh what a shame when you were doing so well yesterday'. When they did go in the loo I gave loads and loads of praise.

yes, she's always followed me into the toilet :rolleyes: i even got so desperate that on the few occasions she's asked to see what i was doing i actually let her, embarrassing but i thought it would help. she just told me i was doing a wee! so she obviously knows what it's about, i give up

i've only ever gotten really angry once. i'd just changed her because she had weed herself. i was calm just commented on how nice it is to be in dry pants etc and washed her pants in the bathroom sink as usual. a few minutes later i notice a smell of wee again. she hadn't said anything to me so i asked if she needed the toilet... 'no' so i asked if she'd pottied in her pants... 'no' so i take her pants off and a huge pooh falls on my slippers!!!

i was just so ticked off that she hadn't at least told me she needed the potty, she had plenty of chances! this was just a few days ago so this has all been going on for the last 6 months or so on and off.

today when i picked her up from nursery they said she'd pooed in her nappy (i gave up on the pants idea this morning to spare their trousers!) anyway, she reached in her nappy, scooped it out and started wiping it on the floor :eek: :eek: :eek:

she's never had any serious behavioural problems, she's fairly well behaved and is actually one of the most polite 3 kids i've ever known! she rarely gets anything said about her behaviour and if anything it's usally that she was so enthusiastic whilst playing that she knocked her head or something, that's just like her. so i honestly don't know what's happening

she hasn't been around anyone unusual lately, mostly me actually and i just have no clue what's happening... arghhhhhh

HOLsale

thanks for everyone's suggestions. i think we'll leave it for a few weeks and then do as suggested earlier and just let her run around naked. i think once she's had wee and poo on her naked body a few times she may change her mind...i hope!

Savvy_Sue

You know your child best, so you know whether this is worth a try: telling her in no uncertain terms that wiping poo on the floor is NOT ACCEPTABLE. Weeing in pants is NOT ACCEPTABLE. Pooing in pants is NOT ACCEPTABLE. Don't need to shout or scream, just say it won't do. If you've read all this thread - now merged I see! - you'll read what happened when my eldest pooed in pants at nursery, despite being clean at all other times.

I'm a great fan of Christopher Green, author of Toddler Taming. I'm sure he would advise cleaning up while making as little fuss about it as possible, and your daughter does seem to be wanting some attention - it's very hard not to make lots of noise and fuss when there's poo on the floor! But 'ignoring' the behaviour we don't like doesn't always work with all children: some children have to be 'told' rather than ignored.

But can she tell you why you're 'naughty' for putting her in pants not a nappy? And why she is 'mad'? Is that insane mad or angry mad?

BTW, there's a free potty training kit on offer over here - not reckoned to be the best freebie available, but maybe worth sending off for?

moggins

We've just got our letter for the continence clinic, madam will be attending on the 19th May

I just don't know what to try anymore and neither do the health visitor and the doctor, we have tried everything and she is more than happy to take herself to the potty or toilet and do a wee but anything more seems to be an impossibility, she is also waking up still dry in the morning.

We can't tell whether she is unaware of what she is doing or not, at one time it did look like she had absolutely no bowel control whatsoever but Daddy took her into town last week, she got very upset and said she had pooed. Daddy checked and she hadn't but she was still very upset, said she was't having a good time and wanted to go home. Within 5 minutes of being home (Daddy didn't use his head and stick her straight on the potty, he brought her upstairs to find me) she had gone in her pullup. So it appears she does have some control.

We've used star charts, 'big girls knickers' going to toilet with mummy, special presents for poos on the potty, potty training books for us, potty books for her, sitting her on the potty and making her wait. We've even done the potty dance when she finally did do one (that must have been an accident)

We're going out of our minds with worry now, she will be 4 in June and starts school in September, I know someone has posted that they have never known a child start school in nappies but I fear this one will be

Savvy_Sue

moggins wrote:

We're going out of our minds with worry now, she will be 4 in June and starts school in September, I know someone has posted that they have never known a child start school in nappies but I fear this one will be

I have known children start school in pullups, or go back into them. I don't think the school can exclude a child because she is not continent, although they MAY suggest she doesn't start in September to see if she can be toilet trained by January. And you will need to work out with them what arrangements they will make for helping your daughter.

So stop panicking about that, relax, and see what answers they come up with at the clinic!