Child free by choice?

I'm another woman who has always known I did not want children. I was quite vocal about this even when I was a child myself! I expressed so much dislike of the idea that my mother even used to say if I ended up with a child she'd have to take it away and raise it herself.

My feelings never changed even though my reasons why (and there's a long, long list - from my own selfishness and love of a lie-in, a real horror of the physical side of pregnancy, planetary overcrowding, and above all just plain not wanting to) have crystallised over time.

At the age of 30 I requested a sterilisation and actually had very little problem getting one; I was quite surprised at how easy it was. I had made sure to mention it to my doctor at regular check-ups for repeat prescriptions of the Pill for a year or two - I asked him to note it down each time so it would be documented - then once I turned 30 I asked him if he would refer me and without any argument he did. I had it done within three months of asking. I'm now 36.

I am lucky that I have never fallen for a man who wanted children - both my husband and ex-husband didn't want them either. That must be hard if couples disagree. I don't think I could have gone through with having a child because a partner wanted one - but equally would I have been strong enough to leave someone I loved over this? I am thankful it was never an issue for me.

That said I have mellowed somewhat but only in terms of not being so rigid/black and white in my thinking and realising that sometimes you have to roll with the punches and deal with what life throws at you. So do I still think that having a child would be the worst thing in the world? No, I'd cope if I had to, millions do. Do I want one? Absolutely not.

My brother has a child and so my parents get their grandchild fix that way and there's never been any pressure on me. My colleagues do ask some inappropriate questions but I've never yet had the balls to do the running off crying thing to teach them a lesson!

I do wonder who I will have to help me if I'm old and alone but you can't rely on your children to do that anyway. I will just have to try to make sure all the money I save now goes to funding a comfortable retirement with paid-for carers if necessary. Fingers crossed...

catkins wrote: »

A poster wondered if men got less grief about remaining childfree than woman. I would say they definitely do. I lost count of how many rude, ignorant comments were made to me about not having children and yet my husband never had any comments made to him

I've had a fair few. As well as my parents going on about it I've had others, mainly work colleagues asking when I'm having some and telling me I'll change my mind. It's certainly not exclusively aimed at women but I do accept women probably get it worse as society deems it less acceptable for them not to be a parent.