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    • MSE Andrea
    • By MSE Andrea 3rd Mar 09, 12:34 PM
    • 9,265Posts
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    MSE Andrea
    MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should rich Rich pay for Tom, !!!! & Harry?
    • #1
    • 3rd Mar 09, 12:34 PM
    MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should rich Rich pay for Tom, !!!! & Harry? 3rd Mar 09 at 12:34 PM
    Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:

    Should rich Rich pay for Tom, !!!! &; Harry?

    A few months ago, Rich who’s just graduated from Uni, won £3.9m on the lottery. He had a big party to celebrate a couple of weeks ago. Now he’s arranged to meet fellow recent graduates Tom, !!!! and Harry; none of whom have found work yet, for a curry night and beers like they used to at Uni. On the way to meet him, Tom & !!!! chat, saying Rich had better pay for them all now he’s so loaded. Yet Harry’s not so sure. Should rich Rich pay for Tom, !!!! & Harry?

    Click reply to have your say

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Page 1
  • 456789
    • #2
    • 3rd Mar 09, 12:52 PM
    • #2
    • 3rd Mar 09, 12:52 PM
    Yes he should - if he doesn't he isn't a very good friend
    • Gavin83
    • By Gavin83 3rd Mar 09, 5:46 PM
    • 5,464 Posts
    • 9,045 Thanks
    Gavin83
    • #3
    • 3rd Mar 09, 5:46 PM
    • #3
    • 3rd Mar 09, 5:46 PM
    I dont' think he's obligated to, after all, it's a get together and everyone should pay for themselves. If he hadn't had the win there wouldn't even be a question of it and therefore it all comes down to the money. Therefore if he doesn't pay I don't think his friends should hold it against him. It's unfair to think that a friend should foot your expenditure just because they're better off than you. If you can't afford to pay for yourself then don't go. Therefore Im going to say no, he shouldn't pay.

    However, most decent people in that situation would offer to pay for their friends, especially due to the large sum he won and the fact his friends aren't working.
    • shirlgirl2004
    • By shirlgirl2004 3rd Mar 09, 10:29 PM
    • 2,834 Posts
    • 4,514 Thanks
    shirlgirl2004
    • #4
    • 3rd Mar 09, 10:29 PM
    • #4
    • 3rd Mar 09, 10:29 PM
    Totally agree with you Gavin.
  • Amber07
    • #5
    • 3rd Mar 09, 11:09 PM
    • #5
    • 3rd Mar 09, 11:09 PM
    It would be a nice gesture if Rich did pay for his friends, especially if they haven't been able to find work. But his friends shouldn't go out 'expecting' him to.

    They should go with the intention of paying for themselves, and if Rich offers, accept with thanks.
    Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
    • Secret Lady
    • By Secret Lady 3rd Mar 09, 11:23 PM
    • 720 Posts
    • 315 Thanks
    Secret Lady
    • #6
    • 3rd Mar 09, 11:23 PM
    • #6
    • 3rd Mar 09, 11:23 PM
    It would be a nice gesture if Rich did pay for his friends, especially if they haven't been able to find work. But his friends shouldn't go out 'expecting' him to.

    They should go with the intention of paying for themselves, and if Rich offers, accept with thanks.
    Originally posted by Amber07

    Agree, they shouldn't expect him to pay but given the circumstances and that they are all friends, it would be very nice if he did although they should not expect him to pay every time they meet up.
    Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can and the wisdom to know it's me"
    • FatDickie
    • By FatDickie 3rd Mar 09, 11:29 PM
    • 74 Posts
    • 24 Thanks
    FatDickie
    • #7
    • 3rd Mar 09, 11:29 PM
    • #7
    • 3rd Mar 09, 11:29 PM
    Have a friend exactly the same, who is a millionairess.

    It is as most people above have said.....Whenever we go out as a group it goes without question that we all take money and offer to pay our way. Sometimes she pays, sometimes we all pay.... Although going out for a meal isn't the real problem, It's what on earth to get for Christmas & Birthdays !!!!
  • JessW1986
    • #8
    • 3rd Mar 09, 11:31 PM
    • #8
    • 3rd Mar 09, 11:31 PM
    I think it would be nice if he offered but he shouldn't have to because they're all only going for a curry which, I assume, is within all of their means. His friends certainly shouldn't expect him to pay for them or be annoyed if he doesn't. I think it's be different if Rich wanted them all to go to somewhere that he can clearly only afford but, even then, there should be no expectation on the part of his friends, it's his money not there's.
  • Amber07
    • #9
    • 3rd Mar 09, 11:46 PM
    • #9
    • 3rd Mar 09, 11:46 PM
    I think it's be different if Rich wanted them all to go to somewhere that he can clearly only afford but, even then, there should be no expectation on the part of his friends,
    Originally posted by JessW1986

    That's a good point - one of my brothers friends is a footballer, a group of them went on a night out round VIP haunts and the drinks cost a fortune. Knowing that the other guys couldn't afford it, his friend paid for them all. But he offered, no one expected it of him (they were just going to drink really slowly hehe)
    Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
  • sukki
    Tom !!!! And Harry
    If they were true friends the conversation would not have happened,as true friendship is simply that, money doesnt come into it, unless of course they were just aquaintencies now that is something different altogether.:confused:
  • sukki
    Tom !!!! And Harry
    If they were true friends the conversation would not have happened,as true friendship is simply that, money doesnt come in to it, unless of course they were just aquaintencies now that is something different altogether.:confused:
  • englishmac
    If Rich is a good friend he will offer to pay. This shouldn't be expected - as other have said the money shouldn't come into it. If you can't afford to pay your way, don't agree to the night out.

    Tom and !!!! aren't good friends expecting him to pay. Ditch em Rich - they are just freeloading!
    Cheap and cheerful. Preferably free. LBM - more a gradual rude awakening.
    DFD where the light is at the end of this very long tunnel - there, see it? Its getting brighter!!

    DFW Nerd Club Member no. 946. Proud To Be Dealing With My Debts.
    • SkittyOnWailord
    • By SkittyOnWailord 4th Mar 09, 7:58 AM
    • 63 Posts
    • 30 Thanks
    SkittyOnWailord
    Most people who win big tend to want to spend some of their cash on their friends and such, and while he shouldn't be expected to pay for them, if he's nice he'll probably offer.

    Minus the millions this has happened to me when I was down on my money and was invited out. I took some money with me intending to make my drinks last but when my friend realised how little money I had at that moment she bought me a couple of rounds. When I offered to repay her she shrugged it off saying that 'friends don't keep count, within reason'.
    Proud to have dealt with my debts!

    I have taken all Knowledge to be my province
  • purplegaily
    I think this is one of the most one sided opinion polls Martin has done.

    I think we're all in agreement. Friends go out - to a regular haunt - and each take enough money to cover your costs. If you can't afford to go, then Rich may wish to offer to pay at that point, but it certainly shouldn't be a threat that you won't go if he doesn't pay.

    If Rich wants to go somewhere posh, then he should make it clear who is expected to pay up front - ie guys I know you're all skint, this one's on me - just turn up smart!
    Always on the look out for a bargain. Thanks if you've helped me bag one.
    • robbies_gal
    • By robbies_gal 4th Mar 09, 8:32 AM
    • 7,674 Posts
    • 151,466 Thanks
    robbies_gal
    i was thinking of course he should pay but you guys are right you shuldnt just automatically expect someone too eveytime just coz theyre rich-lol

    if he'd invited therm to some swanky place id say yeah pay for them but if its a regular night out at the average curry place then no dont
    What goes around-comes around
  • bigwedgie
    I'm amazed that Rich is even in this country let alone visiting his local curry house with his old mates, of course he is going to pay, he has almost four million quid, he's a young man and he will want to flash some of the cash, but his mates have got to show willing and at least make a move for their wallets otherwise this may be the last time they share each others company
    • newcook
    • By newcook 4th Mar 09, 8:54 AM
    • 4,894 Posts
    • 8,260 Thanks
    newcook
    with the fact they had all previously arranged for this night then surely the ones who were not working should have said 'love to mate but cant afford it as Im not working' rather that agree to go assuming Rich was going to pay for it all. This way Rich would be able to say 'this ones on me' rather than waiting for the bill to arrive and everyone is slow to reach for their wallets and counting out change and him then feeling obliged to pay for the lot.
    • batvink
    • By batvink 4th Mar 09, 9:20 AM
    • 125 Posts
    • 102 Thanks
    batvink
    They should go with the intention of paying for themselves, and if Rich offers, accept with thanks.
    I think it really is that simple.
    Thanks in advance,

    Steve V
    • RoseV
    • By RoseV 4th Mar 09, 9:29 AM
    • 15 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    RoseV
    No - it should not be an automatic assumption.

    Rich may choose to pay - but that is his choice.

    If he feels that the others assume he will pay then he will shortly begin to wonder why they are still friends - do they like him or his money?

    A sure way to make Rich feel bad - and not the sort of thing that friends should do.

    Also a sure way to lose Rich as a friend so not a good long term strategy for his friends either!

    Rose
  • gemma280563
    Agree with Rose V and Gavin.
    The friends should not of suggested as he had already thrown a party and how many free loaders went to that?

    A gesture is good but should not be expected. How many times do you have a free bar at a wedding and people take advantage?
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