MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should rich Rich pay for Tom, !!!!!! & Harry?

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  • As Rich, I am one of the great unemployed who has just won loads of money.
    I know my mates are not in work and are therefore not going to be in a position to pay without borrowing of friends or family. ( has anyone seen the price of a Ruby these days)

    I am therefore going to ring them up and say okay guys the nights on me, no arguments. I will also make it plain that when they get a job I would like to meet up for a Ruby once a week and they could take their share of the bill.

    I would not be too bothered what Moneysavingextra.com readers thought either as I would be unlikely to re visit the site due to my busy life style in the fast lane.
  • alwoowar
    alwoowar Posts: 33 Forumite
    If it was me and they were my proper mates from uni,forgot the local curry house,it'd be off to goa for a fortnights five star all expenses paid jolly! 3.9mil is more than enough to live very comfortably with a few sensible investments so a 10k holiday for good mates for old times sake is nothing! I'd rather enjoy it than end up as the richest man in the graveyard!:A
  • harryhound
    harryhound Posts: 2,662 Forumite
    I It's all about Personal Integrity, Self Worth and Self Esteem! lived and worked and played with millionaires and billionaires at more fortunate times in my life and most were quite willing to splash their cash around amongst anyone who happened to be around at the time where they were as a kind of advert for their humanity and their business success, but I would match them all penny for penny and round for round in whatever they purchased for me! Then when the amount of money I had allotted for the day or evening ran out I bid my farewells and went home to a good book and a good night's sleep!

    Years later I found out that this had led me to being sought out by many of those richer people simply because they viewed me as a true friend who accepted nothing from them other than their good company and who allowed them to be themselves without having to put on some false facade that was fronted by their money.

    In order that Tom, !!!!!! and Harry can maintain their own personal integrity, selfworth and self esteem at the highest levels and show Rich that they are true friends who are glad for him that he has been fortunate enough to gain such wealth then they should do the same!

    True friends ABSOLUTELY DO NOT bring personal wealth, fame or fortune into the equation they just let each other be who they are! and if the wealth, fame and fortune are around and about too, then they're around and about too!

    However there will always be plenty of other ways that Rich will be able to show his true friendship to the others, and helping them out in monetary terms OTHER than evenings where they are all meeting up as equals and true friends just being themselves falls into that plenty of other ways.

    Poor old Rich. If he had been able to avoid the temptation to gamble in the first place, this situation would never have occurred.
    Had he managed to keep it quiet, at least until the silly fuss died down, people might have adjusted to the fact that he is exactly the same bloke underneath.
    As it is he is going to find it difficult, his original friends are trying to leech off him.
    He will be pushed into a new social structure. His new found accountant is probably trying to earn his fees by suggesting all sorts of tax scams: "How about moving to Monte Carlo?"
    The problem is that what ever he does, his new found acquaintances are likely to be "new money" people, just like him. The difference will be that most of them will be sharp, clever people who have "made" money. He risks becoming the bovine who has fallen into the alligator pool. He is unlikely to get much "respect" in that society.

    (Is it not strange that people who end up rich in the government's Ponzi scheme are envied, but sort of respected, by the people who paid for the winnings; at the same time as they were being exploited and ripped off by the tax system? Gambling is such a strange addiction).

    Harry
  • pennypinchUK
    pennypinchUK Posts: 383 Forumite
    I have one or two friends who are loaded, but I never expect them to pay my share. Indeed, I take great pride in paying my fair share, despite my significantly lower income. Occasionally they've offered/insisted on paying, and I accept their generosity but I always make a point of "re-paying" them, perhaps by some other non monetary means, e.g., giving up some of my time to help them with a chore. If a rich person is a good friend they will be sensitive to the difference in wealth/income, they'll accept the reasons why I may not be able to join them skiing in Aspen(!) and they will remain a true friend.

    So cough up, Tom, !!!!!! and Harry!
  • purplevamp
    purplevamp Posts: 10,327 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Photogenic
    Why should he be expected to pay? Just because he's come into some money doesn't automatically make him responsible for the bill. If he wants to pay that's up to him. Sounds like Tom and !!!!!! are just jealous. If I was Rich I probably would treat my mates but NOT if they demanded that I did because I had more money. I'd rather just go with Harry, who obviously has morals, and Tom and !!!!!! can ........:D :rotfl:
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  • ProggerPete
    ProggerPete Posts: 130 Forumite
    I'm hoping Rich will work out that these friends are blood sucking leeches sooner rather than later. Already they are trying to take advantage of knowing him by scoring a free meal. Disgraceful!

    Tom, !!!!!! and Harry should absolutely expect to pay for there own meal. Maybe they'll get lucky and Rich will offer, but they should reach for their wallets when the bill comes out.
    I like my Money For Nothing. =)
  • ol1v33r
    ol1v33r Posts: 38 Forumite
    You should always pay your own way.

    Why should he foot the bill. If his friend had not asked perhaps he would have anyway. However, if they are truly good friends his mate was probably just joshing and intended to pay for himself, but also still thinking that it would be nice if he would pay but not disappointed if he didn't. people are complex. It is always difficult with money and friends and there can be animosity. I have been in circles with very wealthy people and am not so well off myself and it can be difficult and awkward when some can afford something and others can't. eg We were hanging out and decided to get food all i could afford was mcds or something but they wanted nice pizza and it is difficult to say that you can't go as it is difficult to say go away you can't afford it likewise.

    Another point is he may be good friends with tom and !!!!!! and does not know harry so well and if he pays for one has to pay for all possibly?

    I always like to think i keep better track of who i owe money to or borrowed dvds etc than who owes me. You should never lend money to someone unless you would be willing to give them that amount, and never ask for it back. Only in extreme circumstances but you should put it in a proper contract. But the main rule or golden rule if you like is.

    NEVER MIX BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE,
    MONEY & FRIENDS DON'T MIX
  • If Tom,!!!!!! and Harry are good friends and are out of work, I would like to think if I was in Rich's position I would give each of them a few thousand pounds each as a gift. Then this could help them to maybe start up businesses or just ease the pressure from them.
    This way, whenever they all went out there would be no question of Rich always paying as they all should be able to afford it and it would not become a bone of contention in the future.
  • euchrid
    euchrid Posts: 11 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    He isn't obligated to, but yes, of course he should - his weekly interest alone would easily cover the cost of a curry meal for 4.
    If he values his friends, he will pay for them. If he's a money-obsessed slimeball he will split the bill and then wonder why he's eating alone the next time.
  • euchrid
    euchrid Posts: 11 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I have one or two friends who are loaded, but I never expect them to pay my share.

    I don't suppose they are windfall millionaires though are they? That is the crucial difference in this case. If they have worked & studied hard for their money, who are you to take it off them? If they've had a bit of good fortune however, they should share it with their friends & family.
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