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Pregnant and Hubby doesnt love me

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  • Swans1912
    Swans1912 Posts: 1,658 Forumite
    god luck fitzilian19!! hope it goes well today! xx
  • Money_maker
    Money_maker Posts: 5,471 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Yes, good luck. So exciting.
    Please do not quote spam as this enables it to 'live on' once the spam post is removed. ;)

    If you quote me, don't forget the capital 'M'

    Declutterers of the world - unite! :rotfl::rotfl:
  • Jo4
    Jo4 Posts: 6,839 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Good luck with your appointment.
  • MadMac_2
    MadMac_2 Posts: 1,173 Forumite
    Ooh, how exciting! Crikey, that time has flown by. Best of luck and hope your ex does put in an appearance - he will so regret it if he doesn't x
  • Horasio
    Horasio Posts: 6,676 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    fitzilian19 wrote: »
    2 weeks ago my hubby mentioned that we'd been 'drifting' since before we started trying for the baby... he said he wasnt happy.

    we attempted to talk things over but he says he doesnt know what he wants, doesnt know what to do etc...

    last night he mentioned he'd looked into child maintenence... that tells me he's given up on us already. (i'd been looking into how to save our marriage - completely on the wrong wavelength)



    we've only been married 18 mnths, but dated for 5 years before... we're both young (me 22 and him 25) we have a massive mortgage (900 a month) so if we do split i wont be able to stay where i am. i cant go back home as the house is full and looking at renting - i couldnt afford a 1bed flat on my income even after going back to work after baby arrives.

    looked into social housing... would leave me about £20 a month. without running a car or clothing/feeding baby etc


    everything seems so hopeless at the moment, i never imagined this would happen - and it seems harder that he's not in love with me - feel like i've done something wrong.

    sorry just needed to tell someone...
    He has to grow up and accept his responsiblities no matter how he feels. Screw him for every penny if he isn't.

    You NEED the house and things to accommodate for having and looking after a baby whether he stays or not.

    Tell him to get lost so you can rebuild if he's that uncaring.

    If he wants to be mean to you and your child, then he gets nothing, child or home.

    I have no compassion for men who don't face up to their responsibilites or upset pregnant women.
    An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T :o :rotfl: :rotfl: :p :eek::mad: :beer:
    I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.
  • Jokaty82
    Jokaty82 Posts: 276 Forumite
    Just skimmed the whole thread from the beginning.

    Just wanted to say well done, you are being so strong! Putting your baby first is the most important thing and that is what you are doing.

    Dont forget yourself though, some nice relaxing time and pampering time for you will do you the world of good....and baby, cos mummy will be nice and chilled out.

    Good Luck today xx
    Is a sufferer of SAD, so don't blame me, blame the depressing English weather!!!
    :beer:
  • Horasio
    Horasio Posts: 6,676 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Jokaty82 wrote: »
    Just skimmed the whole thread from the beginning.

    Just wanted to say well done, you are being so strong! Putting your baby first is the most important thing and that is what you are doing.

    Dont forget yourself though, some nice relaxing time and pampering time for you will do you the world of good....and baby, cos mummy will be nice and chilled out.

    Good Luck today xx
    I totally agree

    She needs to move on from that jerk and look after herself and her baby:)
    An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T :o :rotfl: :rotfl: :p :eek::mad: :beer:
    I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.
  • k2tog
    k2tog Posts: 1,007 Forumite
    Fitz, how did the scan go? Is the baby a Fred Fitz or a Ginger Fitz?
  • fitzilian19
    fitzilian19 Posts: 251 Forumite
    k2tog.. it'll prob be ginger whatever cos just about my whole family is and ex is too!

    and ... it's a BOY!

    His name is going to be Alfie and he's perfect... was chewing on his arm so took ages to check his mouth - what can i expect except a difficult child with his father's genes?

    ex did turn up... was a bit late but the clinic was running late... i made him sit outside while mum came in with me... i felt like i was telling a naughty child off! he came in for the Gender Announcement and looked as pleased as i was... i had hoped for a boy mainly cos i knew he'd have trouble bonding with a girl...


    sooo happy! :-)


    and i'm going to a briefing session tonight to find out about childminding...so hoping this will help round off an otherwise wonderful day!
    :male:Alfie Sidney born 29th August 2009:male:
  • sandraroffey
    sandraroffey Posts: 1,358 Forumite
    please please please do not agree anything with him about the house, money, anything UNTIL YOU SEE A SOLICITOR.

    and then you wont have to agree with anything at all because the solicitor will do it for you. you are entitled to loads more than you maybe know about, from the marriage.

    my daughter has just taken her ex to the child support agency because he wanted a private arrangement, which inititally she agreed to. but then found that somemonths she got less than he said he would pay (the car needed work!!!) or he had to pay his mobile phone bill. some months she got anothing until in the end he told her that if hshe wanted anymore money out of him (his words) then she would have to take him to the CSA.

    he had obviously been talking to someone who was on benefits or something similar, because the csa told him he had to pay her an amount that was more than he had been giving. he wasnt a happy bunny!!

    think it was something like 20 or so precent of his take home pay, regardless of his own outgoings.

    a little word of advice?? dont tell him what you are doing and who you are talking to. he wont want to pay a proper amount and telling him up front what your plans are, forwarns him.
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