Pregnant and Hubby doesnt love me

babyblooz

Well done you! I have just read through this whole saga and I am sitting here open mouthed at your determination to do the best for your baby. How could little Alfie have a better mum than you! I have tears in my eyes thinking about it all.

God bless you both!

Once he is here, looking up at you, his mum, then all the bad stuff will be a distant memory. Alfie will be the man in your life, and the love you feel for him will be stronger than anything you have ever felt in your life. I'm not even going to mention the sperm donor. He will have so many regrets when he finally grows up, but lets not waste time worrying about the big baby, lets just concentrate on the real baby.

Oh and by the way, I love the name, Alfie will be a little sweetie with a mum like you.
Bl**dy well done girl!:beer:

moiramber

Hiya

I have too just read through the whole thread! I am amazed at your strength and determination. You are fab! Well done for being so pro active about providing for your baby and dealing with this all so well, you are so much mature than your age, I am nearly 25 and not sure I could've coped half as well had I been in your situation. Well done and keep going, You're doing a great job and I know you'll be a great mum!!:T

MadMac_2

Fitzilian, sounds like it went better than expected and I have to say you're amazing in your approach to this man! So controlled and measured, you must be very proud of yourself.

Sounds like he's starting to realise the grass wasn't greener to me...

Keep taking care of yourself and Alfie will have a mum to be truly proud of. You are setting such a good example already, you star!

SusieWinwood

I've followed your story and have to say hats off to you! :T

So pleased that the scan went well and lil Alfie is fit and well!

Hang in there and keep strong!

Susie x

Steel_2

Excelent news about the scan. Go Alfie!!

fitzilian19 wrote: »

also told him he needs to work whatever... the mortgage has to be paid or we'll both be in massive doo-doos... i said if he couldnt afford to pay for his flat and the mortgage he will have to come back here til he sorts himself out.

Did I read that right? You offered to let him move back if he was having problems? To essentially provide emotional support if he couldn't afford to pay for living by himself?

There's a whole pack of trouble in that one sentence. If he's having problems affording to live on his own, which was his choice at the end of the day, he should go and live with his parents or a friend.

You've just admitted you can't keep going financially without him.....what if he withholds the mortgage unless you let him move back in or cancel the divorce? Or worse once he's in and the baby's born refuses to move out and tells you to go as he's the one paying the mortgage?

I'm sorry if I'm misunderstood what you written - could you clarify?

lostinrates

fitzilian19 wrote: »

thought you might all be bored of me! hehe
.

Not at all.


I second the concern for you if he moves back in. Frankly, crrying a baby nmore than ever your emotional welfare is important, noit just for you but for Alfie. When Alfie is born, if some one is there in your home I guess you need either to fel 100% supported by them and able to rely on them or in control of your (and Alfie's)environment. Especially when he's little and noisy and you re feeling stressed and in need of a good long sleep. To have someone there who is out for himself more than you two might be more stress than you think.

allIcouldwishfor

Good to hear from you Fitz, hope you are feeling well.

I second what Steel has written. His inability to cover his other financial outlays is not your responsibility. You've done everything possible to adjust your lifestyle in order to live within your means whilst he's jetting off on citybreaks to glamorous locations with his mistress!!

Unless you are going to give it a proper go at being husband and wife again, I don't think it's a good idea for you to live together. What if he wants to entertain his lesbian badminton instructor in your home? What does your solicitor think of this arrangement?

Dinah93

Another vote for doing everything you can to keep him out. This is your home now, and you want to move on with your life, him being there will keep you in one place. And the idea of him bringing his harlot around, that's going to make you uncomfortable in what should be your safe place. You've said how much more relaxed you are since he left, don't forget that.

djdymond

sorry, I have to agree, moving him back in wouldnt help things at all and could def make things worse.. hes made his bed, hes put you through hell, to be honest i think hes lucky youll even have these chats etc and dont just do it though solicitors!
xxxx

fitzilian19

i dont want him to move back in... at the mo he's living at his parents (came out later in the conversation) and i believe now we managed a whole night together with the family his mum is more likely to let him stay if he gets into financial problems...

i think before she was hesitant because she was worried i wouldnt visit with the baby if he was there...