Pregnant and Hubby doesnt love me

kazmc

Broken_hearted wrote: »

Children should have their fathers name as tradition dictates. I feel very sorry for those children who have their names changed for no reason, .

What an absolute load of crap.
You have obviously never been in a situation where you need to think what is best for your child.
My daughter was going to have her surname after her dad, no questions, but when he decided to p"ss off with someone else the day I gave birth it just somehow seemed natural to give her my surname instead!!!
Tradition is for bloody fools and I would not change for a moment my daughters surname, its mine and I'm proud of that as it has been me that has bought her up to be a beautiful compassionate caring little girl.

barnaby-bear

kazmc wrote: »

What an absolute load of crap.
You have obviously never been in a situation where you need to think what is best for your child.
My daughter was going to have her surname after her dad, no questions, but when he decided to p"ss off with someone else the day I gave birth it just somehow seemed natural to give her my surname instead!!!
Tradition is for bloody fools and I would not change for a moment my daughters surname, its mine and I'm proud of that as it has been me that has bought her up to be a beautiful compassionate caring little girl.

My aunt works in a school office - the number of forms and cheques that come in for trips etc where mom has a different name to kid or random name that changes with partner is a nightmare... form not attached to cheque, what do you do with cheque from name not in common with any kids/20 kids from the sql search..... if the OP can incude her (long term) name it will really help the admin staff.....

CelticStar

paigexstewart wrote: »

I think it's a bit heartless to bring a child into the world without answeing these kind of question TBH.

I am assuming that you mean asking yourself these kinds of questions? This is entirely different to answering some random person on a forum who appears not to have grasped the situation correctly because their own point of view is so coloured by their own experience as evidenced by the following quote:

paigexstewart wrote: »

I can't understand why people are unaware when their partner starts seeing somebody else? There must be some change in their pattern to suggest a change.

Maybe people don't pay enough attention to their partner and thats why they start seeing somebody else.

Im not trying to make the OP feel bad, but my mum and dad had me when they were going trhough a rough patch and ended up seperating. I know what it feels like to have parent's arguing over child support and custody and so on and it so I get a little angry when people have children then a partner leaves and they realise they were not happy and think "oops what should I do". That's why I think you should be 100 % positive before having a child with someone they are genuine, decent and honest.

Sorry OP if I offended. xx

As regards to people saying who am I to ask questions, why air your dirty laundry in public and not expect people to ask questions?

The OP obviously wanted opinions and they got them. Just because you may not agree with mine doesn't mean you have to shoot them down.

Kind words are nice and comforting, but they are not going to help her situation. As for "jha" comment about the other half leaving her in this mess, it takes two to make a baby. She should have made sure he was the rght person before getting pregnant.

But quizzing the OP in an intrusive and judgmental way about her predicament and motivations as well as making fatuous generalised observations about relationships is going to help? Honestly, kindness costs nothing, but if you are going to be unkind then at least get your facts straight.

aliasojo

Well said CelticStar. Yes, an internet forum is for all opinions but you do have to wonder why some people offer theirs when they serve no positive or helpful purpose at this point.

djdymond

fitzilian19 I just wondered how far along you are? im nearly 25 weeks and am still waiting for moring sickness, swelling of feet, my belly button to change, sore hips and stretch marks!! im thinking boy i am lucky so far, but im sure these things will come and bite me in the bum!

3onitsway

djdymond wrote: »

fitzilian19 I just wondered how far along you are? im nearly 25 weeks and am still waiting for moring sickness, swelling of feet, my belly button to change, sore hips and stretch marks!! im thinking boy i am lucky so far, but im sure these things will come and bite me in the bum!

Be thankful!! DD is now 11 weeks old, i got no morning sickness, no stretch marks and my belly button stayed the same. (I did have sore hips and swollen ankles this time - but i put that down to age as I didn't have them with first two!).

Good luck for a symptom free pregnancy. :j

fitzilian19

i'm 21 1/2 weeks... back is killing today... think i might be slouching in my chair at work too much... had morning sickness all day every day from week 5 to 13. dont miss that... think the feet swelling with me was from high blood pressure due to all this rubbish, have gone down now but do sleep with feet propped on a pillow...


can anyone help re: income support. i've heard it mentioned a couple of times on other threads and i had a quick look at lunchtime, but not sure if i'd be eligable (i have worked out i wont be able to return to my old work, if any work at all what with childcare costs to pay on top of renting or mortgage - or both if i can get the place i've seen! plus travel costs etc)

this would be a really hard decision for me... my uncle is one who has played the system for 15+ years... hes a lazy bum. and i know the stigma attached, especially for young lone mums... but if it means i can afford to feed myself and child, study and be completely self sufficient in 4/5 years time, i think it would be worth going for.

i cant approach the CAB about it until my maternity leave is almost up... so if anyone knows anything at all, that would be a huge help!

galvanizersbaby

barnaby-bear wrote: »

My aunt works in a school office - the number of forms and cheques that come in for trips etc where mom has a different name to kid or random name that changes with partner is a nightmare... form not attached to cheque, what do you do with cheque from name not in common with any kids/20 kids from the sql search..... if the OP can incude her (long term) name it will really help the admin staff.....

I'm not sure helping out the admin staff is tip top of OP's list right now :rolleyes:
Parents should have the savvy to attach cheque to the form or even write the pupils name on the back of cheque (this is what I do and my name is the same as my childrens)

galvanizersbaby

fitzilian19 wrote: »

i'm 21 1/2 weeks... back is killing today... think i might be slouching in my chair at work too much... had morning sickness all day every day from week 5 to 13. dont miss that... think the feet swelling with me was from high blood pressure due to all this rubbish, have gone down now but do sleep with feet propped on a pillow...


can anyone help re: income support. i've heard it mentioned a couple of times on other threads and i had a quick look at lunchtime, but not sure if i'd be eligable (i have worked out i wont be able to return to my old work, if any work at all what with childcare costs to pay on top of renting or mortgage - or both if i can get the place i've seen! plus travel costs etc)

this would be a really hard decision for me... my uncle is one who has played the system for 15+ years... hes a lazy bum. and i know the stigma attached, especially for young lone mums... but if it means i can afford to feed myself and child, study and be completely self sufficient in 4/5 years time, i think it would be worth going for.

i cant approach the CAB about it until my maternity leave is almost up... so if anyone knows anything at all, that would be a huge help!

Hi Fitzilian
You may get a better response about the income support if you post on the benefits board too?
Hope you are doing ok x

fitzilian19

i got the letter through from my solicitor... i knew it would be there when i got home yesterday cos he replied to an email and said he'd been 'strongly advised not to have correspendence with me by your solicitor'

still came as a bit of a shock - makes it all real i suppose, up til now its kind of been a game or something... had a cry in the loos at work and then again on mum's shoulder... she said it'll have the same affect in 10 years time when i come across the stuff in drawers etc...


dont know what to do about the house... i keep feeling a strong urge to get a move on and put it on the market... places are selling here quickly at the mo and i dont want to miss all those buyers who have been holding out for the bottom of the market... dont want the house sitting on the market for months / years and dont want to miss the shared ownership places i have seen.

but the solicitor has said i wont be making a decision until after the baby is born.

think i need to write down exactly what i want from him and let her get him to agree....?



oh for a simple life!!!