Pregnant and Hubby doesnt love me

paigexstewart

CelticStar wrote: »

Is there really any need for these kind of questions now? They come over as a bit heartless TBH.

I think it's a bit heartless to bring a child into the world without answeing these kind of questions TBH.

jcr16

i have read this thread and i am completely amazed how wonderful you seem. you seem so strong. well done. it must be a really hard time for you you sound like your be a fantastic mum.

as for the above post, tbh i don't really think the poster needs to explain that.and it isn't up to you to question her. life isn't simple and doesn't always work out the way we plan it.

Broken_hearted

msb5262 wrote: »

Rant alert:
"giving it her name just makes her look like someone who got knocked up without a partner"
I would like to disagree (politely) with this. In any case, getting "knocked up without a partner" doesn't deserve a patronising put-down like that. Please be aware that you may hurt people's feelings by making such remarks.
Rant over.

Why rant a lot of socities problem are caused by those who have children without thinking. Children should have their fathers name as tradition dictates. I feel very sorry for those children who have their names changed for no reason, a child should have a name at birth and it should stay that way.

jha

Originally Posted by paigexstewart
Can I ask why you were trying for a baby if you both wern't completly happy?
I think your OP said he felt different when you started trying so maybe it is his fault, but surely there must of been telling you something wasnt right from the start?

I disagree with you Paigexstewart - there was no signs that there was any problem with this relationship untill after the pregnancy was confirmed and the husband left the wonderful fitzillian for his lesbian babmington partner. :eek:She has not done anything wrong and is just tryinig to prepare for the birth and cope with the mess he has left her in and who are you to ask why someone was trying for a baby if they wern't completley happy??? :mad: According to her there was nothing wrong with their relationship (and i have read the whole thread from the beginning).

Hope you are ok fitzillian:T:T

galvanizersbaby

paigexstewart wrote: »

I havn't read through the whole thread yet so sorry if I have missed anything important.

Can I ask why you were trying for a baby if you both wern't completly happy?

I think your OP said he felt different when you started trying so maybe it is his fault, but surely there must of been telling you something wasnt right from the start?

Also your husband must be decent enough to pay child support otherwise you wouldn't have considered having a child with him.
Hope you are coping ok. There is plenty of help out there if you look.

The OP said this in original post
"2 weeks ago my hubby mentioned that we'd been 'drifting' since before we started trying for the baby... he said he wasnt happy."

I took it that the 2 weeks ago was the first time OP's husband had seen fit to mention he wasn't happy and that they had been 'drifting' - by this time they had made a decision to try for a baby and OP was already pregnant

Having followed this thread I am under the impression that the OP was not aware that her husband was unhappy within the relationship prior to the conception of the baby so find your comments largely irrelevant to the OP's situation.

In relation to the child support comment I would hope that the OP's husband is decent enough to pay child support and I would imagine the OP is hoping that too - however his behaviour so far has been quite the opposite of what she thought she knew

galvanizersbaby

Broken_hearted wrote: »

Why rant a lot of socities problem are caused by those who have children without thinking. Children should have their fathers name as tradition dictates. I feel very sorry for those children who have their names changed for no reason, a child should have a name at birth and it should stay that way.

I see the point you are trying to make but in this case I don't believe the OP is one of those people

I don't see what is wrong with the baby having the OP's maiden name at birth or even a double barrelled version of her maiden name and the father's name
However the OP has said that the baby will have her married name (i.e. the father's name)

I don't believe in children having their names changed for no reason either - however I personally could see a valid reason why the OP may want to change her child's name in the future

Incidentially tradition also dictates that a father does not abandon his wife and their unborn child

paigexstewart

I can't understand why people are unaware when their partner starts seeing somebody else? There must be some change in their pattern to suggest a change.

Maybe people don't pay enough attention to their partner and thats why they start seeing somebody else.

Im not trying to make the OP feel bad, but my mum and dad had me when they were going trhough a rough patch and ended up seperating. I know what it feels like to have parent's arguing over child support and custody and so on and it so I get a little angry when people have children then a partner leaves and they realise they were not happy and think "oops what should I do". That's why I think you should be 100 % positive before having a child with someone they are genuine, decent and honest.

Sorry OP if I offended. xx

As regards to people saying who am I to ask questions, why air your dirty laundry in public and not expect people to ask questions?

The OP obviously wanted opinions and they got them. Just because you may not agree with mine doesn't mean you have to shoot them down.

Kind words are nice and comforting, but they are not going to help her situation. As for "jha" comment about the other half leaving her in this mess, it takes two to make a baby. She should have made sure he was the rght person before getting pregnant.

CarliJ

Didnt want to read and run, just hugs to you OP xx

lostinrates

paigexstewart wrote: »

. She should have made sure he was the rght person before getting pregnant.

I think, considering she mentions they are both commited Christians, marriage could be seen as a pretty ''sure'' bet. She felt he WAS the right person, she was pregnant before she knew he felt otherwise.

I don't disagree with your sentiment in general, but my feeling is this misplaced here, and this is far from a case of not feeling commited or unsure as the OP relays it, nd it reads sincerely.

Fitzilian everytime I see this thread bumbed I read it. Everytime I am struck by your bravery and dignity.

looby75

paigexstewart wrote: »

I can't understand why people are unaware when their partner starts seeing somebody else? There must be some change in their pattern to suggest a change.

Maybe people don't pay enough attention to their partner and thats why they start seeing somebody else.
[snip]
She should have made sure he was the rght person before getting pregnant.

It is often very hard to notice those changes when you are "on the inside" My ex was having an affair with someone he worked with for at least 3 months before he told me and I had NO idea. Looking back now there were signs at the time but I missed them. We all know hindsight is 20/20 don't we.

As for your comments about Fitzilian "making sure he was the right person" how much more committed and "sure" do you expect someone to be before deciding to get pregnant, she had been with him for over 6 years and married for 18 months. Thats pretty sure in my book.

Fitzilian, I just wanted to say I know it's going to be hard for you but from what I've read on this thread I know you are going to be ok and be a very good mum.