Pregnant and Hubby doesnt love me

MadMac_2

Good morning Fitzilian, glad you are doing well. Stay strong and determined, we're all here to help when you need it.

The benefits board can be a wealth of information, so definitely worth asking on there:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?s=&daysprune=&f=139

I wouldn't let your emotions get the better of you about all this house business - if your solicitor advises against something then I would take note!

Simple life? I'd like one of those!

djdymond

hiya

just wanted to say make sure you ask your midwife/doc about the health in pregnancy grant which you can get form 25 weeks. i think its £190.. not alot, but im sure itll help you out a bit xxxx

carlamagee

just had a quick glance through this thread. being 26 weeks pregnant myself, i couldnt read it all = emotions going mad and all that.
just would like to say to fitzilian 19 how much i admire her for her courage and determination. i hope everything works out well for you and your little baby!
xxo

lesley1960

paigexstewart wrote: »

I can't understand why people are unaware when their partner starts seeing somebody else? There must be some change in their pattern to suggest a change.

Maybe people don't pay enough attention to their partner and thats why they start seeing somebody else.

Im not trying to make the OP feel bad, but my mum and dad had me when they were going trhough a rough patch and ended up seperating. I know what it feels like to have parent's arguing over child support and custody and so on and it so I get a little angry when people have children then a partner leaves and they realise they were not happy and think "oops what should I do". That's why I think you should be 100 % positive before having a child with someone they are genuine, decent and honest.

Sorry OP if I offended. xx

As regards to people saying who am I to ask questions, why air your dirty laundry in public and not expect people to ask questions?

The OP obviously wanted opinions and they got them. Just because you may not agree with mine doesn't mean you have to shoot them down.

Kind words are nice and comforting, but they are not going to help her situation. As for "jha" comment about the other half leaving her in this mess, it takes two to make a baby. She should have made sure he was the rght person before getting pregnant.

As she had been with him for a number of years them married him I really cant see what else she could have done?
maybe you could elaborate?

liney

lesley1960 wrote: »

As she had been with him for a number of years them married him I really cant see what else she could have done?
maybe you could elaborate?

Private detective and a crystal ball obviously!

OP - entitledto.com may give you an idea about what you can claim in benefits if you put in what your circumstances will be.

I guess you already know that Open University have excellent financial support available.

fitzilian19

hiya...

well it doesnt rain it pours... found out today that some people at work are going to be made redundant...


plus side is that i had already decided i couldnt return to work.. so going to approach my boss about volunteering for redundancy... providing they offer at least slightly better than i would get if i stayed on there and had my maternity package...

i'm also looking at becoming a childminder...


just wondering what my legal right is with regards to the house... can i stay here and he has to pay half the mortgage for an amount of time or have i been mis-advised?
and if he does, would he still have to pay child maintanence?

if i am made redundant i wont be able to move anywhere else. and i'd need the space i have here to make being a childminder a reality... i would also study for my degree in my spare time, so being a teacher would still be the ultimate plan...



also.. started to discuss meeting with ex to look at baby things etc... so when baby arrives i feel more comfortable around him... i know babies pick up on vibes and i dont want a crying baby every time he comes near... which will be often as contact will initially be at mine with me...

barnaby-bear

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

I'm not sure helping out the admin staff is tip top of OP's list right now :rolleyes:
Parents should have the savvy to attach cheque to the form or even write the pupils name on the back of cheque (this is what I do and my name is the same as my childrens)

Oh I know BUT in the long term if she can include the name she intends to use (presuming she doesn't want to get confused with the other Mrs. Smith aka the badmington lesbian by carrying on using his name) then it may be easier for her to do it at birth - as this lady has found the admin. confusion can cause problems: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1653069 for the mother.

barnaby-bear

fitzilian19 wrote: »

hiya...

well it doesnt rain it pours... found out today that some people at work are going to be made redundant...


plus side is that i had already decided i couldnt return to work.. so going to approach my boss about volunteering for redundancy... providing they offer at least slightly better than i would get if i stayed on there and had my maternity package...

i'm also looking at becoming a childminder...


just wondering what my legal right is with regards to the house... can i stay here and he has to pay half the mortgage for an amount of time or have i been mis-advised?
and if he does, would he still have to pay child maintanence?

if i am made redundant i wont be able to move anywhere else. and i'd need the space i have here to make being a childminder a reality... i would also study for my degree in my spare time, so being a teacher would still be the ultimate plan...



also.. started to discuss meeting with ex to look at baby things etc... so when baby arrives i feel more comfortable around him... i know babies pick up on vibes and i dont want a crying baby every time he comes near... which will be often as contact will initially be at mine with me...

Before you do anything ask on the employment and redundancy boards and the benefit boards about the implications of voluntary redundancy - it may affect your entitlements, by *choosing* redundancy.

Also ask on the benefit/tax credit boards about the childcare support (I think it is 80%) to make sure you are basing your better off calculations on accurate data.

Gingerbread the single parents organisation and CAB may also be able to offer advice.

You need proper legal advice on the house and to trust your solicitor - if you aren't confident they can deal with family law - change. No forum or voluntary organisation is a substitute but may give pointers as to whether advice is accurate.

Good luck.

Meeting with the ex. - do not talk money/finances/your plans - it can only weaken your position and is an inappropriate channel for such matters and frankly your solicitor is paid to deal with his hard-luck whining.

Good luck.

fitzilian19

we're meeting to talk about the baby only... he has been warned not to communicate with me about the divorce or money...

msb5262

"we're meeting to talk about the baby only... he has been warned not to communicate with me about the divorce or money..."
It sounds as if this meeting with your ex could be very hard for you emotionally. Hope it goes ok.
Thinking of you
MsB x