Pregnant and Hubby doesnt love me

lch_2

paigexstewart wrote: »

I can't understand why people are unaware when their partner starts seeing somebody else? There must be some change in their pattern to suggest a change.

Maybe people don't pay enough attention to their partner and thats why they start seeing somebody else.
QUOTE]

Each situation if different and there is always at least two sides to every story. You cannot make such a sweeping statement as you have above. I suspect that you have never cheated or been cheated on, else you would understand how these things happen, continue to happen and go un-noticed or just un-questioned.

MissMitch

paigexstewart wrote: »

I can't understand why people are unaware when their partner starts seeing somebody else? There must be some change in their pattern to suggest a change.

Maybe people don't pay enough attention to their partner and thats why they start seeing somebody else.

Im not trying to make the OP feel bad, but my mum and dad had me when they were going trhough a rough patch and ended up seperating. I know what it feels like to have parent's arguing over child support and custody and so on and it so I get a little angry when people have children then a partner leaves and they realise they were not happy and think "oops what should I do". That's why I think you should be 100 % positive before having a child with someone they are genuine, decent and honest.

Sorry OP if I offended. xx

As regards to people saying who am I to ask questions, why air your dirty laundry in public and not expect people to ask questions?

The OP obviously wanted opinions and they got them. Just because you may not agree with mine doesn't mean you have to shoot them down.

Kind words are nice and comforting, but they are not going to help her situation. As for "jha" comment about the other half leaving her in this mess, it takes two to make a baby. She should have made sure he was the rght person before getting pregnant.

Seriously, life is not that cut and dried...and I think it's rather insulting to the OP to insinuate that she's somehow done something wrong or missed something that should have been evident to her. I understand your own circumstances have formed your opinion but I think you're being incredibly naive. You can't ever plan a perfect life and be 100% certain of what is going to happen despite people's good intentions.

It's a fact of life that not all children, infact very few children, will have what could be termed a perfect childhood and can't be cosseted and protected from things as much as parents like. There's no such thing as a perfect parent either, but I think to give your child lots of love, confidence and support is the best you can do, and that can be done by a single parent or a couple. I really believe that having a not so perfect upbringing will only cause people problems if they let it totally restrict and dictate their life in the future and their own children's future.

fitzilian19

had i thought there was a single chance my baby would grow up with parents living seperately i would not have consiered having a child. my parents divorced and my siblings and i spent 10 years being made to visit our father who didnt give a damn about us. i would never chose that for my baby.

i was not aware he was feeling things were going wrong. he told me he wanted to try for a baby and i believed him. he got me pregnant.

i wasnt able to tell he was having an affair because i was so sick from the pregnancy... i would come home after struggling through work being sick, cook his dinner, unable to eat cos the smell made me ill, then go to bed. he would come home, eat and then go out to badminton.

i encouraged him to play badminton more often with a woman i felt would be a safe bet... maybe that was me being stupid or naeve... because i was too sick to do anything during the week. that was when he started his affair, i had no idea.


things have been so hard for me these last few weeks. i've lost the man i loved, the house we bought together is probably going to have to be sold - and i have no idea where i'm going to end up, i've lost my best friend and his family have started to distance themselves from me- and therefore the baby.

i went into this marriage expecting it to be forever. otherwise i wouldnt have done it.


ironically since he has left i've come to realise he never did love me. unfortantely i made a mistake in marrying so young... i never knew any different.

looby75

fitzilian19 wrote: »

things have been so hard for me these last few weeks. i've lost the man i loved, the house we bought together is probably going to have to be sold - and i have no idea where i'm going to end up, i've lost my best friend and his family have started to distance themselves from me- and therefore the baby.

i went into this marriage expecting it to be forever. otherwise i wouldnt have done it.


ironically since he has left i've come to realise he never did love me. unfortantely i made a mistake in marrying so young... i never knew any different.

Oh Fitzilian I wish I could give you a huge hug, the pain you are going through now is so obvious from your post

I know this isn't going to help one iota because it didn't for me when ex and I split up but it does get better in time. You will look back in a years time, when you have your beautiful little baby on your knee and you won't believe how far you will have moved on and how much the pain will have subsided.

I really wish I could fast forward you to that time, but all I can do is assure you that it will happen.

Keep your chin up hun and take care xxx

BallandChain

Fitzilian, I'm still reading this thread and thinking what a strong girl you are. You do not have to justify yourself why you got pregnant. The fact is the baby is very much wanted by you and giving life to a baby is a blessing and precious. Have you seen your solicitor recently? I know somebody on this thread mentioned that the house doesn't have to be sold until your child reaches 18 I think. I have seen mention of this on other threads and wondered if you have looked into this.(Just to add that I don't know too much about this, but I am sure someone 'in the know' will go into more detail.)

I had a feeling just by what you have written that his family will choose his side. Whatever they are saying will be in his interests and not yours or the babys. Please keep up with the solicitor appointments and I really do wish you the very best. You deserve it.

fitzilian19

i cant afford to stay at the house... my half of the mortgage and all the bills will kill me... i'd have to work all the hours under the sun and never see my baby - which cant be good for him or her.

i've been accepted for affordable housing options... it's a risk cos i cant apply for anywhere until the house is sold and if sells and nothing is a available i have no idea what i'd do.


i'm not going to sit at home and wallow. i'm determind to show my baby how hard work and determination can make life better... i'm just going to have to figure out a suitable balance of work / home life.

fitzilian19

just a quick question... does everyone get an outie belly button when pg? mine feels like it might be going that way!

would be weird to see something that has been hidden away for 22.5 years!

MadMac_2

Hi Fizilian, good to hear from you x

Yes, that can happen apparently so don't worry yourself too much! The pregnancy board might now be a good place for you to visit for this type of thing - a friendly bunch, so I understand:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1617833&page=86

Don't take too much to heart about certain opinions you've had on here - it is no different to the real world, some people will think differently about your situation to others and, whereas in the real world you wouldn't choose to sit and have a drink with everyone, on here you just can't get away from it!

You don't need to justify yourself to anybody - you have already done the hard stuff and have nothing to prove to us on here. I, along with many others, are here to support you when you need it and listen to your rants when you feel the need!

Keep well and you'll soon be out the other side. Big hug x

allIcouldwishfor

fitzilian19 wrote: »

just a quick question... does everyone get an outie belly button when pg? mine feels like it might be going that way!

would be weird to see something that has been hidden away for 22.5 years!

haha, yes, mine's normally an innie but first it went flat and then stuck out a bit while I was pregnant with DS and DD. You can often see outlines of belly buttons on pregnant ladies through their tops, so don't worry - I took it as a rare opportunity to give it a good clean!

looby75

fitzilian19 wrote: »

just a quick question... does everyone get an outie belly button when pg? mine feels like it might be going that way!

would be weird to see something that has been hidden away for 22.5 years!

I did with dd but didn't with ds.....my mum had 3 girls and a boy and had an outie for all 3 girls but not for my brother. She swore down that if your belly button turned into an outie then you were having a girl. Then my sister proved her theory wrong, as she had an outie and a boy