My 4 year old son has been excluded from school!! End of my tether!!

Feisty_Fairy

He is at the moment ignoring me and i am going to have to tell him off! My friend suggested taking him to the police station! She did it with her son and they were great, took fingerprints- the lot! He has been brilliant since! mmmmmm............

Tashja

When DS was naughty we asked a police man to talk to him and they said they don't encourage this as it can make the child scared of the police and if they are ever out and get lost they will not approach a police man for help.

I am sorry you are going through this hun - is there another school locally ???

T xx

Feisty_Fairy

Tashja wrote: »

When DS was naughty we asked a police man to talk to him and they said they don't encourage this as it can make the child scared of the police and if they are ever out and get lost they will not approach a police man for help.

I am sorry you are going through this hun - is there another school locally ???

T xx

Yes there are numerous other schools, but my eldest son who is 9 goes to the junior school next door, so i would need to move him too and he has special needs so its not really an option.

JimmyTheWig

Feisty_Fairy wrote: »

Yes there are numerous other schools, but my eldest son who is 9 goes to the junior school next door, so i would need to move him too and he has special needs so its not really an option.

As I said earlier, I couldn't remember your exact circumstances.

If another school isn't really an option, what about home education for a while?
I'm not normally a fan, but I do feel your son needs to be out of that environment, at least for a bit.
Maybe your younger son could then go to a different primary school when your older son moves up to secondary school?

Presumably there is no-one who could take one or other of them to school, allowing you to take one of them to a different school? (Does that make sense?)

Sarahsaver

I guess they 'sent him home' so therefore this is yet another unofficial exclusion which will not show up on their OFSTED report.
make a complaint! i wish I knew the name of the school cos I would complain for you!
They are not dealing with this at all well. They need to learn their ABC
A = antecedent - all behaviour happens for a reason, doesnt seem like they are bothered about the WHY?
B= behaviour - this seems like the only bit they are 'dealing with' then not very well. Bet they have not tried every possible strategy
C= consequences - they are sending him home. That is that. he gets out of the place he possibly hates. (going on what the behaviour is like hes not happy about something) Result! but not the best possible result.
They sound useless.

poet123

I have to say another school may not be the answer,you may just be moving the problem,what then?
I would throw the ball back into their court and say you are willing to do whatever it takes to resolve the issue,how do they suggest you proceed?

They will probably suggest the Ed Psch,or behaviour support,but that will take time,so they will have to put other strategies in place. If he is required to be in school age wise they will have to address the issue.

Have you spoken to him about why he behaves this way? it may be time to gently spell out the options and make them sound unappealing! he probably wont want to move schools,have you asked him?. Praise is usually the key,but sometimes there are other things which you may have no idea about which are bothering him, and it is coming out in this way.

Last week one of my sons classsmates was excluded for fighting,it turns out he had been watching the news and seen all the knife issues on at the moment and decided he didnt want to go to big school because of it,and thought if he was excluded he wouldnt have to go. Clearly wrong but that was what he thought and that was what lay behind the behaviour.

Good luck,this will not be an easy road.

Feisty_Fairy

Sarahsaver wrote: »

I guess they 'sent him home' so therefore this is yet another unofficial exclusion which will not show up on their OFSTED report.
make a complaint! i wish I knew the name of the school cos I would complain for you!
They are not dealing with this at all well. They need to learn their ABC
A = antecedent - all behaviour happens for a reason, doesnt seem like they are bothered about the WHY?
B= behaviour - this seems like the only bit they are 'dealing with' then not very well. Bet they have not tried every possible strategy
C= consequences - they are sending him home. That is that. he gets out of the place he possibly hates. (going on what the behaviour is like hes not happy about something) Result! but not the best possible result.
They sound useless.

Hi, no this is an official one again, and they will continue to be official ones now i am told.

Sarahsaver

At least they are doing something correctly!

pandora205

I wonder how skillful the staff are here? Often when a child becomes uncooperative adults approach and intervene physically, which tends to corner him and provoke a 'flight or fight' response. It is better to back away, to give 'take up time' and remind the child of the rule or direction (positively phrased). If a child does not comply then they have to correct the 'damage' (complete the work, tidy the thrown books etc) later.

Several adults restraining a child (or even a teenager) suggests inappropriate management and is bound to escalate an emotional situation.

grannybroon

Hi FF

I have only caught up with your thread and skipped through.

My initial reaction is that no 4 year old should be excluded from school. There must be reasons for his behaviour. Is he exceptionally gifted? Is he too young to be at school although very bright? Is the school and staff right for him? Does he have a syndrome (TBH I sometimes think too much is put down to 'isms' remember the BT ad!)

Our DGS1 they thought had an 'ism' when he was 3 as his co-ordination etc not too good. He is only now starting to ride his 2-wheel bike at age 5+ without stablisers. This is not a problem. His Mum forgets she was almost 6 when she did without the stabilisers! Our DS (30) was almost bullied by a particular teacher at school because his hand eye co-ordination (and then of course handwriting) not good. He had handwriting extra homework every night until it became an issue and I decided enough was enough and had to go to school about it. I may say his handwriting is better than his father's!

DGS1 could have started school last year but the best thing ever is that he has done another year at nursery. He is much more mature, socialises more with other children but attention span can be a bit short. That is probably his sweet nature. We are not all the same.

Please take care and maybe consider moving him from his current school.

G xx