My 4 year old son has been excluded from school!! End of my tether!!

listerofsmeg_2

Is he happy to be at school? At four he will only just have started school right?

Maybe he's feeling scared because he's suddenly at 'big school'. and his behaviour is his way of expressing it.

goodomens_2

Jost wondering if this was ever sorted?? Going throught the EXACT same thing with my 4 year old daughter Bright little spark...can read and do simple maths. But naughty. The teacher has tod me that they wont tolerate her behviour much longer. We punish her. Take toys, grounded, no treats. Works short term...but back the same the next day. I think she is worse in schoo....im so worried about what will happen to her

So would be interesting to know the outcome of your situation...

meritaten

hun - I wish I could wave a magic wand and your son would be a perfect angel in school. I can't sorry.
firstly, I dont believe the school have approached this properly. unless another child has been harmed or he attacked a teacher then exclusion seems rather extreme for a 4 year old (and I have known where this has happened on numerous occasions and the child remains in school, much to the fury of other parents and staff.
Keep the appointment with the Ed Psych and in fact the exclusion will work FOR you there.
My gd had many years of this, suspension, spending time in heads office, standing in the hall, corridor etc.
after about 7 years it was found that he had Aspergers/ADHD and that the advice from the Ed Psych was making him worse frankly. So was the schools approach.
my dd and her OH were made to feel bad parents, dg was 'LABELLED' a 'NAUGHTY BOY' and they had years of misery.
before he went to school he was a delightful child - something about school tripped a switch in his brain. the more he misbehaved at school and was punished at home the worse his behaviour BECAME at home. as no-one looked for the 'reason' behind the behaviour and just punished it - both at school and home. overpunishment is counter-productive - so dont fall into that trap of punishing the child on the schools (and EdPsychs) say so.
a couple of years ago he attended a special unit 3 days a week and was put on medication - the change in him was almost magical - unfortunately the school and the teachers already had the mindset of him as 'Naughty Boy' and it followed him to comp last year. My dd asked for meetings with his teachers to explain how to handle him - they refused to meet with her.
He spent most of his first year in the corridor!
he is now at a different school - not ideal as his previous schools were Welsh Medium but this one is the only other local school and its English Medium! but hopefully they will cope with him better!
Sorry to go on - but please, please dont let the school label your child as Naughty, bring in professionals to explain the behaviour and dont hesitate to ask for second opinions.
Trust YOUR instincts about YOUR child!

KiKi

Meritaten - the thread is three years old. It was revived by another poster asking for advice for her situation.

KiKi

lisawood78

Just a note for new readers of this thread, it is 3 years old but a newer poster goodomens has bumped it with an issue of their own on post number 93, referring to a problem with her daughter.

squirrelchops

Have a look at this meritaten:

http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/related-conditions/pda-pathological-demand-avoidance-syndrome.aspx

I am not one for labelling but my friends daughter was excluded from 2 schools aged 4! After many struggles my friend managed to get her 'naughty' child assessed and she was diagnosed with PDA.

It is only when a child starts school that it is often picked up as this is when demands begin to really be placed on a child.

May be worth a look.

meritaten

Apologies - I read the first page and the last and didnt pick up that there were two different children!
I still think that my post may be helpful - for any parent who is suddenly confronted with a school who thinks the child is 'naughty, violent or disruptive' and a parent who previously thought thier child was a joy to be with and hadnt shown any of these behaviours.
I should Know by now to read EVERY post and not skip pages!

babyblooz

Hmmpphhh, apparently I have reported one of these posts as Spam! Obviously I didn't mean to do this as I was reading it all with great interest, but I have obviously caught something on my laptop and I don't know what!

I can only apologise!

Sorry!

Savvy_Sue

goodomens wrote: »

Jost wondering if this was ever sorted?? Going throught the EXACT same thing with my 4 year old daughter Bright little spark...can read and do simple maths. But naughty. The teacher has tod me that they wont tolerate her behviour much longer. We punish her. Take toys, grounded, no treats. Works short term...but back the same the next day. I think she is worse in schoo....im so worried about what will happen to her

So would be interesting to know the outcome of your situation...

Just wondering if she's bored / under-stimulated? It's not necessarily a reason to misbehave, but I wouldn't expect exclusion for 'naughtiness'. What exactly is she doing?

jakes-mum

Hi Goodomens, my son is 10 and I have had nothing but problems since he started school. Our main problem is that DS is extremely bright, he was doing age 7 maths at 3. His reception teacher told me at parents evening that she thought he had learning difficulties!! (amazingly every parent who had a son in her class were told the same thing). He is no bother at all at home, I never have insubordination, anger issues, raging tantrums etc but at school its a whole different matter.
I have spent most of his school life either on the phone to or in the office of the head teacher. I have had to get him tested for Bi Polar and ADHD (both normal) and he now has a name as a 'naughty boy'. He's never been excluded but its been threatened many times, banning from school trips is often threatened aswell (though he's perfectly behaved every trip). We have finally realised after much arguing, punishment, conversations etc that the school are trying to make him 'normal'. They do not like exceptional children, it came to a head when I demanded his SAT's results from his 3rd year and he had a lvl 5 in maths and a 4a in english. Having already researched on the internet and the secondary schools gifted and talented list info, a lvl 6 in any subject is expected at end year 7 for the gifted list.
When I mentioned this to the head master he litereally shrugged and changed the subject I made a huge mistake by not being a 'pushy parent' and allowing the school to dictate to me what my child was even though I knew deep down otherwise. My son has become lazy as the work is easy, he talks when things are being explained because he already understood it first time round, he can remember everything he reads just through skim reading so doesnt bother to read properly anymore.
I have no idea if this is the problem with your child or if there are other underlying issues, but I thought id tell you my story incase it could help you.