My 4 year old son has been excluded from school!! End of my tether!!

poet123

Poor you,this child is 4 for goodness sake,if he wants wee,let him get up and try,or wet the bed instead perhaps!

TBH I think that was a ridiculous circumstance for them to cite,if thye had said if he throws a tantrum for sweets etc,dont give in fair enough.....but for a wee.....

Obviously there do need to be boundaries,but his realisation of where they are, may just be coming a little later than his peers. I hope it works out,good luck

covlass

I would keep a diary of everything you can ie what he has eaten, bedtimes where he has been what he has done ect. I know this will take some time but I feel this may be of some help in the future, should you find the school do this again.

My daughter was also kicked out of pre school because they could not cope !! The school said something was not right but the psychologist said she was fine. I however kept a note of everything and after 2 years of note keeping yes I noticed a pattern.

My daughter got a DS she has high functioning autusm, SLD, and sensory intergration issues. She would when younger scream when she was taken into the hall of the school, it turns out that she couldnot stand the lighting in that room and it was almost painfull for her.
The specialists are not always right first time you as a parent know your child better than anyone, if you feel that there is a underlying reason for his behaviour then push all the way to the top.

wttgill

hi there

I may be repeating other people and just not read the reply my son has a problem with gluten, and this effects his behavior, some children can be effected by citrus fruit, it is worth keeping a food diary for a couple of weeks to see if there is any pattern,

BlimusOreilly

Feisty_Fairy wrote: »

Well he is back in school, went in yesterday after a long meeting with psychologist and then school.

While we were at school, he apparently was involved in a play ground incident,... well you have never seen anything like it, we were in the office, theres a knock at the door. "come quick its Zachary!" 4/5 members of staff running and shouting (over a 4 year old boy), they brought him in and he lay on the floor and refused to move, so the special needs person!? asked him to follow her to the quiet room, he refused, so she said crawl then, so he did, then she asked him a bit faster, so he did, then sha asked him to walk so he did. Surely that is compromising which we were told not to do!???

4/5 members of staff?! Sounds more like a 'situation' in a high-security prison than at a first school!!
I've read through this thread with a mixture of anger (about the school) and sympathy (for you and your son). It's seems like because they're expecting him to create then he's just conforming to their expectations. It's no different from reacting to positive encouragement, children also react to negative 'encouragement'. Poor little fella - he's 4 years old FGS!
I understand that you both work? If it was at all possible I would strongly consider home-education. This is clearly a problem with the school's attitude to your son and it would be beyond awful for him to suffer from this disruptive tag for the rest of his time there.
Good luck. x

Sarahsaver

He is n't old enough to legally have to go to school, and as was said previously you could home educate.
That school does not sound like a good environment, I would not want to put my child into it!

shirlgirl2004

I agree. Why send him somewhere that gives him poor self image? Home educate him so he's learning in an environment where he is obviously happy.

missie-me-me

Hi

Please remember that some kids are just not meant for school.

My eldest son went from a confident happy little boy (before school) into a sad, nervous, untrusting little kid (whilst at school) to a confident, knowledgeable very happy young man (being home educated).

The type of things you describe happened to my son, and he became a victim, an easy target. Please don't think this will go away, it wont, it, in our opinion, got worse.

It is NOT against the law to teach your child yourself.

You do NOT have to be a teacher or have teaching qualifications or experience.

Please visit www.education-otherwise.org

There is another way...

Savvy_Sue

I did think a bit about the getting up for drinks and wees after going to bed. There sometimes is some attention seeking in this, and you might find that if it gets less attention, he does it less often. Of course this is probably the least of your problems, but ...

OK, so he should have a drink of water at an appropriate time before bed. Then, maybe he could have a water bottle by the bed. If he's thirsty, he has a few sips. No need to get out of bed, no need to call you.

Using the toilet is obviously more difficult to achieve without him getting out of bed, but I'd be asking if he really needs to go between going to bed and falling asleep. But if he can be left to 'go' without requiring adult intervention, then that may be useful. Mine could wee without supervision at that age, but the youngest was not a reliable bottom wiper. (Frankly I wondered if he'd ever learn!)

Then there's the huge praise for NOT getting out of bed approach. Star charts and all that. Finding the balance between their desire for a star and your desire not to have a wet bed.

Of course I have no idea if any of that will help his behaviour at school. But if you can demonstrate that you're doing your best to change things at home but it's not helping, it should help, IYSWIM.

gpjuicer

try reading raising boys by Steve Biddulph, can get it on amazon, explains differences in boys and girls developmentally and says some boys are not ready for school until about 6yrs, also around age 4 boys get surge of testosterone and they want to charge around and be active not sit in a classroom. Talks about how some boys get labelled as badly behaved when really just are not ready for school at that time. I enjoyed reading it anyway and it seems to make a lot of sense.

Carmina_Piranha_3

Feisty_Fairy wrote: »

They have previously sent him home and not recorded it, this time though its been done officially!

just a thought - if he knows there's a chance of being sent home is it possible that when he is bored or upset he behaves badly because he WANTS to be sent home?

i saw a psychologist when my boy was 3 and he had already observed us through a hidden mirror while we were in the nursery. he told me that my boy was hitting and throwing whenever he felt uncomfortable, simply because he knew that if he threw something i would take him away from the situation. it was his way of getting out of something he didn't want to do - have a tantrum and mum would take him home. it hadn't started out that way, but i suppose we had got into a pattern over time.

that was in the assessment unit for early intervention etc. and while it's not related to what your boy's going through i just wondered if maybe he was having a strop purely because he wants to go home it's a 14 week term and it's very hot. if i were a 4 year old in full time school in this heat i'd be looking for an escape route!