cheating - what now?

pantsdr

mymatebob wrote: »

And this helps how?

Neither of them should have started it in the first place.

Now they want society to deal with and help them resolve it?

Being 'sympathetic' is just condoning this behaviour. The original OP knows she was in the wrong, why vent your excuses!

MissSaz

pandapiglet wrote: »

when you love someone (and it is love) it is difficult to just say no i won't see you anymore, especially when i see him almost everyday and cannot avoid him (i have tried, believe me or not)


Is it love or is it just lust and excitement?

How much do you still love your husband?

mymatebob

loftus wrote: »

Ok - to resolve it with the least pain she needs to end the affair. That way two people get hurt - her and the other guy, and at least they are in control of the hurt.
To continue the affair hurts both their partners, their children and very probably the extended families. Means months and years of wrangling through divorce lawyers and possibly courts.
If you are unhappy end your marriage before moving on to the next partner.

Agreed.

As I said in an earlier post people are going to be hurt, it is up to the OP to decide on who and by how much now.

If she could see into the future then all would be well.
Maybe when the other guys new child is born he will happily go back to his wife and family, I have seen this happen twice in the last 10 years.

If nothing else happens then only those that know, the OP and the man(?) are the ones who are hurt in some way.

Or maybe they will get together, everyone will think ill of them but they will lead a happy and fulfilled life together.

mymatebob

pantsdr wrote: »

Neither of them should have started it in the first place.

Now they want society to deal with and help them resolve it?

Being 'sympathetic' is just condoning this behaviour. The original OP knows she was in the wrong, why vent your excuses!

Indeed and the OP knows this, so is asking for advice - is that wrong too?

I have made no excuses for anyone, I am just trying to be helpful

pantsdr

mymatebob wrote: »

Indeed and the OP knows this, so is asking for advice - is that wrong too?

I have made no excuses for anyone, I am just trying to be helpful

Sorry mymatebob, I meant the OP was just venting her excuses for her behaviour.

CB1979_2

feelinggood wrote: »

It helps me to feel even more guilty.

good and so it should.

you obviously have no morals or ability to make choices, so it's good when other people can point you in the right direction.

mymatebob

Dippychick wrote: »

But what good is it if we all lie to make the OP feel better?

Should we all say 'don't worry about it honey, all is fair in love and War'?
No, which is why she as asking for advice - not comments on her moral standing within the community

Should we offer sympathy? What about the pregnant Wife at home? What if she is on here, replying to the thread??? Totally unaware it is her Man who is the cheat? That would be called ironic

What if all this good and sympathetic advice is taken by the OP and everyone was so lovely and caring, that she decided to leave her hubby... to end up having a nervous breakdown in 6 months when NOBODY wants her?
My goodness that is overly dramatic!

Personally, I want opinions from people who can offer facts based on real life experiences, not necessarily moral high grounds.Good

And remember, there will be Women on here and Men who have the badge 'I was cheated on'. There will indeed

Personally I hope the OP can get some non-judgemental counselling

feelinggood_2

CB1979 wrote: »

good and so it should.

you obviously have no morals or ability to make choices, so it's good when other people can point you in the right direction.

Maybe. I see this as a grey area, and isn't as simple as I'm wrong and evil and my husband is the poor man with no part to play.

Life isn't black and white.

I don't think that we should critise the OP when we don't know the full circumstances.

mymatebob

CB1979 wrote: »

good and so it should.

you obviously have no morals or ability to make choices, so it's good when other people can point you in the right direction.

Oops did a thanks instead of a quote sorry CB wasn't meaning to thank you.

I think that feelingood is trying to make a choice, that may mean she has different morals to you.

But then this is not a thread about morals - is it?

feelinggood_2

mymatebob wrote: »

But then this is not a thread about morals - is it?

I thought this thread was about a confused and upset woman looking for advice on how to figure out how to deal with the situation she was in.

At least, thats what I'd have hoped it'd have been.