cheating - what now?

tired_mum

I think you know exactly what you want to do but know what you should do
Unfortuatly not every one agrees with what you want to do .
I personally think you are both selfish as you are quite content to cause distress to not only your partners but also both sets of children .
Neither of you are honest or have a backbone bourne out by the fact painfull though it may be you should tell the TRUTH to your famlies.
He has the perfect life family on one hand and you on the other. Even if you dont love or want to be with your husband anymore have the courtesy and decency to tell him then leave and start your new life and let him have his
one last thing an old saying goes what comes around goes around.

pantsdr

Dont bank on this man staying with you.

What goes around comes around.

Pathetic and weak! (Both of you)

calleyw

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

To be fair I would imagine that most husbands would respond the same way when asked by their partners this is what my ex hubbie used to assure me but he was cheating on me repeatedly throughout our marriage and during my pregnancies - but you are right it takes two to tango - I just think it depends what sort of man is invited to the dance!

Maybe But I know my husband very well and I know what he is like he can't lie.

Also my husband knows me very well. I mean he was in hospital after a stroke for 3 and half months. I did not even have time to think about anything than him and work. If I wanted to have a affair then I could have as no one really knew where I was at any time. But not my style as I have been dumped on before from a great height. So know the pain and would never do it.

But then I have love and respect for my husband. Which is seems that the OP and her lover don't seem to have a lot of for there spouses or themselves at the moment.


Yours


Calley

RoxieW

I agree with shellsuit. To cheat is awful - to cheat on a pregnant wife is absolutely disgusting and the pair of you should hang your heads. Its all very well saying that you know its morally wrong but you're obv not that bothered or you wouldnt have done it! I'm pregnant at the minute and I would fall the pieces should I be in the same situation. I would be distraught and hysterical and I be fearful for the child inside me. The woman is carrying his child for christs sake. She's going to give birth to it. Surely a child is created with love and deserves both parents - although I'm not sure that it deserves a cheating scum of a father!

On second thoughts - once a cheat always a cheat and if not with you he'll find someone else. Maybe you'd be doing his wife a favour.

feelinggood_2

I've never understood the being honest with partners thing.

When should you be honest? When you meet someone and feel that spark? When you kiss them? When you are emotionally involved and not just having fun?

I'm having an affair. Its early days. I don't know if I want to leave my husband or not. Should I tell him now, which would be the end of our marriage, or am I alright to carry on for a little while before making up my mind? I'd hate to throw away my marriage before I'm totally certain.

I'd want the same from my husband if he ever cheated again - not to end the marriage until he is absolutely sure.

And I stick by my thinking that it isn't easy to just stop.

I know I'm wrong for having an affair, but sometimes 'the other guy' is the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. Is it really so wrong?

Ganyam

lol, allot about him in this.. Yes if he can do it to his wife and kids then maybe he'll do it to you, but what about you, are you contemplating walking out on your husband and kids.. or why ask the question.. If you can do it to them would you not do it to him? The question is there only you know him well enough to answer.. But as allot have said you have already answered it.

Mips

shellsuit wrote: »

Men are just as to blame, it's not most mens faults if their brains are in their kecks :rolleyes:

Oh they are to blame just as much - but what chance has that poor pregnant Wife got, when her Man is being chased by a new bit of skirt?

sismith42

The FIRST thing you need to do is go find another job! Working with both your husband and your lover has got to be stressful, especially if you're thinking about ending it with one of them... (and if you do manage to end it with the boy-toy, what if he felt upset and told your spouse before you did?!)

CB1979_2

why hide behind a different username?

cos it's pathetic and if you're worried about losing your "respectability" on an internet forum full of strangers then imagine what people in "real life" will think of you.

to be honest i couldn't give a toss, you're gonna ruin loads of people's lives and ultimately your own, when this fella decides he's bored of you and has another bit on the side or decides to go back to his newborn kid.

pandapiglet

to the poster who said that i went out looking for this man as if hunting him down, it really wasn't like that at all, but i feel there is nothing that i can say to change your mind as to what happened and i'm NOT justifying it at all, i am in the wrong completely and accept this with the guilt that accompanies it - and yes i know that is not a patch on the feelings my husband and his wife would have if they found out.
when you love someone (and it is love) it is difficult to just say no i won't see you anymore, especially when i see him almost everyday and cannot avoid him (i have tried, believe me or not)
to the poster that said that men have no option if women like me are offering it on a plate- i accept i am in the wrong and am doing a terrible thing, but he is too and he was not forced into starting anything with me.

i am sorry if i have caused upset to posters on here, but i just wanted some advice as my head is completely [EMAIL="f@*ked"]f@*ked[/EMAIL] up at the moment, and no i don't want sympathy.